Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
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I don't need it at all. I'm living at home and was kinda pressured into this, but I really should just be taking more college hours so I can get THAT done faster.
EDIt: Talked it over with the family. They were okay with me leaving and just taking more hours. It's done.
EDIt: Talked it over with the family. They were okay with me leaving and just taking more hours. It's done.
I was told this too. Honestly, I feel like this store is just doomed to fail. It's in a bad location (right next to one of the worst apartment complexes in my area) and isn't properly staffed. I simply did not feel safe there, especially after working with the customers for a full shift.
I feel bad about leaving, but that place is doomed and probably isn't a good place for someone with such a severe anxiety disorder to work. It's my fault that this whole situation arouse anyway: apparently I wasn't being pressured at all by my mother, she just thought I might want to earn some extra money. I caved into my own pressure and didn't say I just wanted to do more college hours now that I know I can handle it, so I caused this whole mess for me and now I've ruined the day of a manager at the worst store in the state, as well as anyone I was supposed to work with tonight. This never should have happened.
But I needed to put my foot down and I'm actually kinda proud that I did. Last time I worked retail I just didn't bother showing up after I couldn't deal with a confrontation. I even actually managed to call in and tell the manager I couldn't handle working there anymore. A few years ago that never would have happened.
So that co-worker I ranted about awhile back? Worked with him again tonight and next time I do, I'm going to take out my phone and time how long he takes for each of his "breaths of fresh air" outside, because I swear they total to much more than an hour.
Also, I'm pretty certain the dude is a huge homophobe. Last week, he said how Fandango (WWE wrestler with a ballroom dancer gimmick) was a fag. Tonight, he tells me that one of our co-workers apparently loves giving head, of which is girlfriend is okay with. My response? Yeah, so? He's bi-sexual. The co-worker kept trying to convince me it was hilarious.
Also, I'm pretty certain the dude is a huge homophobe. Last week, he said how Fandango (WWE wrestler with a ballroom dancer gimmick) was a fag. Tonight, he tells me that one of our co-workers apparently loves giving head, of which is girlfriend is okay with. My response? Yeah, so? He's bi-sexual. The co-worker kept trying to convince me it was hilarious.
You'll be much happier not giving a shit. He has decided not to grow up, and that's his deal. You're not going to make him more mature, and the more you worry about it, the more he will definitely make you feel craaaaaazy. I speak from experience; just ignore it.
I would literally not even answer his comments about other people's sex lives. Talk to him if he brings up something you want to talk about; ignore him when he's busy being up his own ass. Surely you've got another novel you could be mentally composing: that's far and away a better use of your mental energy.
Been waiting for a particular beer to show up at my local liquor store. Went in on a whim on the 20th and looked on the new arrival board. On the 1st the beer I've been hoping to try (and is a limited release, once a year) arrived. On the 2nd, it was gone. Sigh, there's always 2014, I guess.
Seriously tired of going to bed alone.
I met a girl through Plenty of Fish about two weeks ago and just told her that I'm just not emotionally or mentally proper to date right now. I hated telling her that. She thought I wasn't into her, but that's not the case. I'm really and truly just not in the right state of mind right now to date. Hell, I'm barely all that great to be around people at all these days.
Most of it stems from dropping out of my teaching practicum late last year. I'd been working towards being a teacher for years that for it all to suddenly blow up in my face and make me realize that I'm just not cut out to be a teacher was a really huge blow. Yeah, I'm going back to school in September at the local community college for a human services program that includes being a teacher's assistant, but it feels like a huge step back from where I'd wanted to be. Not only that, but I've been so exhausted working as a dishwasher that I do almost nothing when I'm working, including my days off.
Even the publication of my novel - my biggest dream come true - hasn't boosted my spirits much. It doesn't help that I can't seem to get it promoted anywhere, like a website or a book review place or something. Or that honestly, I feel kind of embarrassed by it because it's such a stupid concept in the first place. Or that I've hit a huge writer's block on its sequel.
But yeah, these days, I just feel like lousy company for anyone. I don't feel like a very likeable guy anymore. I feel more like a self-centred, anti-social, depressive asshole with nothing going on in his life.
Most of it stems from dropping out of my teaching practicum late last year. I'd been working towards being a teacher for years that for it all to suddenly blow up in my face and make me realize that I'm just not cut out to be a teacher was a really huge blow. Yeah, I'm going back to school in September at the local community college for a human services program that includes being a teacher's assistant, but it feels like a huge step back from where I'd wanted to be. Not only that, but I've been so exhausted working as a dishwasher that I do almost nothing when I'm working, including my days off.
Even the publication of my novel - my biggest dream come true - hasn't boosted my spirits much. It doesn't help that I can't seem to get it promoted anywhere, like a website or a book review place or something. Or that honestly, I feel kind of embarrassed by it because it's such a stupid concept in the first place. Or that I've hit a huge writer's block on its sequel.
But yeah, these days, I just feel like lousy company for anyone. I don't feel like a very likeable guy anymore. I feel more like a self-centred, anti-social, depressive asshole with nothing going on in his life.
Getting to know somebody new, or getting out of your rut might just be what you need, instead of pulling everything back and trying to cocoon yourself. Just a thought, from something that has worked for me in the past. Sometimes it's been something as simple as getting out and hitting a bucket or two of balls on the driving range, or as daunting (to me) as talking to somebody I don't really know and trying to get to know them.
Look into hotels. You can get a job at the front desk with the same kind of qualifications you need to work at a convenient store. Typically you'll have better hours that can fit your needs. If necessary you can even look into the overnight shift which will let you figure out our school and sleep schedule during the day. Night Audit is a rewarding experience that not only pays better than front desk, but also gives you a lot of freedom. For smaller hotels a night auditor is usually the only person on staff during the shift. This means you won't have a manager breathing down your neck and can figure out how best to perform your duties. Typically you get some free time during a shift like that, depending on what is expected of you overnight. This could provide you with a few extra hours to get some homework done.[DOUBLEPOST=1366674900][/DOUBLEPOST]
I'm sorry you feel that about yourself. Hopefully you'll meet the right person and things will just work out for you. I found that no matter how not in a dating mood I might have been at a time, if I met the right person I was suddenly interested again.
Where does he work? Bates Motel?
some one recreated the rite of Passover during night shift onceHe's not planning on coming here to take *my* job, is he?
I kind of wish he would have.
Those nurses had me pretty much maimed.[DOUBLEPOST=1366906090][/DOUBLEPOST]
I don't get this reference.
Pretty sure it's a Kickass reference. Big Daddy was one of the heroes in it.
GasBandit
Staff member
Actually, that they didn't slightly warms the cracked, stone dead cockles of my heart, ever so slightly.
Though I will say I had this as my desktop background for a while after the first bioshock came out -
Cajungal
Staff member
Mannnnn, I just talked to my sister. It's hard times at school for my niece. Friendless at the moment, for about a month now, is the "weird" kid, and there are some issues with her teacher. As a teacher myself, I was cautious here, but it was hard not to get all momma-bear since it's family. I feel bad for her, and I felt bad for my sister. She was crying a little when I picked up. She's not the kind of parent to get bent out of shape like that, either. She takes her daughter's crises with a grain of salt, especially since she's a very "theatrical" child who likes attention. But her daughter's been coming home sobbing every day and is acting straight-up depressed around the house--losing interest in things she loves and not at all motivated. Can't focus. In the morning, the first thing she does is cry. I hate to hear it even though I know we all go through something like that, and must.
I think I gave my sister some good advice about how to keep a level head and show the teacher you're on the same page. I also used some tricks I learned from a counselor to teach her some ways to deal with little-kid anxiety. I'm gonna hang out with that kiddo tomorrow and we can do something fun. I know it'll all work out, but this makes my heart hurt.
I think I gave my sister some good advice about how to keep a level head and show the teacher you're on the same page. I also used some tricks I learned from a counselor to teach her some ways to deal with little-kid anxiety. I'm gonna hang out with that kiddo tomorrow and we can do something fun. I know it'll all work out, but this makes my heart hurt.
Tuition for my kids is going to hurt in the upcoming school year. We got a pittance for financial aid. I don't know how we're going to pull this off.
So, I met a girl on a dating site.
She messaged me Monday with interest. I replied back and we started talking. Her pictures were really cute, but it was chatting with her that made me really interested. She was funny and charming and overall just a pleasure to talk to. We had a lot of similar interests and sense of humor, so on Wednesday we decided to meet, and set a date for this Saturday. I was cautiously optimistic and curious if that same spark would carry over in person.
The very next day she sent me a message saying she had changed her mind. She said she wished me luck, but this was something she decided on and that was that. At this same time, she also blocked me from being able to message her.
In the grand scheme of things, I shouldn't be bothered. We only chatted, online, for three days. I don't even know her, we didn't even get to first date. But it's the sudden 180 that bothers me, and the inability to reply or even find out what happened that drives me insane.
I shouldn't care about it. It's now 4 am and I still can't sleep, all because wtf went wrong?
She messaged me Monday with interest. I replied back and we started talking. Her pictures were really cute, but it was chatting with her that made me really interested. She was funny and charming and overall just a pleasure to talk to. We had a lot of similar interests and sense of humor, so on Wednesday we decided to meet, and set a date for this Saturday. I was cautiously optimistic and curious if that same spark would carry over in person.
The very next day she sent me a message saying she had changed her mind. She said she wished me luck, but this was something she decided on and that was that. At this same time, she also blocked me from being able to message her.
In the grand scheme of things, I shouldn't be bothered. We only chatted, online, for three days. I don't even know her, we didn't even get to first date. But it's the sudden 180 that bothers me, and the inability to reply or even find out what happened that drives me insane.
I shouldn't care about it. It's now 4 am and I still can't sleep, all because wtf went wrong?
It was a dude.