This might be a long rant. I don't know.
Today, I dropped out of the Human Services program at the local community college. It's the result a very heavy, long-term depression that I've been going through for a few weeks now. The worst of it came out a few weeks ago when I had a complete emotional breakdown and suicide attempt. I spent that weekend in the psych ward at the hospital.
I've been struggling to recover from that breakdown ever since. I tried catching up with school work, but then had another breakdown when the instructor wouldn't take one of my late assignments. It was a reflective journal of the first three chapters in our Psychology text, which was due on the Friday I was in the hospital. His argument? That because I wrote the assignment after it was due (something he asked and I answered honestly), that there's a difference between needing time to hand something in and time to actually do the assignment. That it was supposed to be done throughout the term. I STILL don't understand the logic behind that. For one, did he ask every other student whether they did the assignment in one night like he did me? I doubt it. Two, who the hell cares when I did them? I have NEVER been asked that by any instructor before.
So yeah, I had another breakdown last week because of that and hadn't gone back to school since. After talking with my sister and my parents, I made the decision to drop out.
And now I'm just...Christ, I don't know. I've just given up. I have nothing in my life to speak of. I come home every day to a cat because I have no one in my life; certainly no social life to speak of. I have no skills that would give me anything more some stupid fucking minimum wage crap job...if I was lucky to even get that because New Brunswick (certainly Fredericton) has next to no employment available.
So yeah, I've given up. I don't know what to do anymore.
EDIT: It's just ironic that in the program, one of the things we discussed was how people in society who aren't ideal for whatever reason (health, wealth, culture, etc) are devalued. Yet ironically, I've never felt so devalued since High School.