A HOBO ADVENTURE
When Nick met a hobo.
Several years ago
@ThatNickGuy was returning to his parents home in Halifax to spend the Christmas holidays. An adventurous hobo took it upon himself to call Nick up and arrange some adventures. After a brief discussion with Nicks lovely mother, he warily answered the phone.
"Hello Nick, this is HCGLNS calling. You mentioned that you were in Halifax for the holidays and wondered if you want to have some adventures? "
I suddenly detected a strong smell and panicked tone reverberating from the telephone as Nick gasped in fear, " OH MY GOD! HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER? ARE YOU STALKING ME?!"
To which I calmly replied. "Relax Nick. I simply guessed that your parents share your last name and use a device called a phone book to obtain this number. "
Having assuaged his tremors we made arrangements to share food and beverages at a local watering hole known as Jack Astors.
Upon entering the establishment I was immediately greeted by a bubbly hostess, " Good evening Mr Hobo! Table for four?"
"No thank you, I'm meeting a gentleman tonight. Table for two at the bar will suffice. "
Upon receiving a fine table in the bar, a waitress approached and said,
"Good evening Mr Hobo. My name is Buxom. Would you like your usual?"
"Not tonight thank you, I'm driving. Just coffee please. "
"Milk cream or sugar?"
"Jack Daniels. And to start four of those unlimited garlic bread and for my main a full rack of ribs."
Nick eventually arrived and took his seat at the table. We made our introductions and Buxom quickly returned and asked for Nicks drink order.
"I'd like a Blue Lite please. "
Now for some reason the sound system in the restaurant skipped and many patrons were staring at us. Buxom her cleavage visibly deflated asked resigningly if a Keith's lite would suffice. She then offered many suggestions from the vegetarian section of the menu that Nick might enjoy.
After finishing our meal we made our way over to a book store called Chapters. Upon entering our noted author Nick was treated like royalty and appeared several inches taller. After a few minutes one of the several employees servicing Nick approached me and politely spoke.
"Excuse me sir, could you please refrain from pointing and laughing at the Starbucks patrons. Is there a book I could help you with?"
"No thanks I'll just go play with the Thomas train set."
Several hours later Nick finished his Warpoling and we headed long to our final destination, an electronics store called Best Buy.
Immediately upon entering the store several young male employees bolted from my sight, while a man with a very nice beard and a managers nametag approached me.
"Hello sir you look like a husband with a list from his wife."
"Indeed I do have a list from my wife. I require the following ..."
So myself being treated by a competent employee, the young male employees attempted to regroup but they were TOO SLOW! A vibrant young female employee named Chesty had swooped down on Nick and the two of them began a vigorous courtship over the video game selection.
Eventually I drove an exhausted and sated Nick home.