Whatever, we all know you're pulling a Constanza. You just want that big washroom.
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
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- boat people
I got denied life insurance today and I'm super upset. Logically, it's just a small supplementary thing and I'm covered (but rated) under another policy but I guess I'm not feeling logical at the moment. I called and was given the reason why then the lady kept repeating the same sentence over and over. She knew nothing about the medical issues in question.
And my diablo won't work.[DOUBLEPOST=1412039997,1412039521][/DOUBLEPOST]
And my diablo won't work.[DOUBLEPOST=1412039997,1412039521][/DOUBLEPOST]
People suck! Bury them in legal action along with the paperwork?
I choose to believe you mean this in a literal sense.
Also, not a lawyer, but it might behoove you to get this on tape if you live in a non-two-party consent state.
I fucking hate living with my parents. Been living here since March and I hate it.
For one, I have absolutely zero privacy. My room is more of a den, where there are sliding doors (with windows) and curtains, which you can still see through. On top of that, they're always bugging me about the stupidest things or I hear them arguing over the stupidest things. Note: they clearly wanted to divorce years ago but didn't because they can't financially support themselves individually.
Secondly, times that I want to be alone? Or maybe just have a nice, lazy, quiet day? NOPE. They just keep bugging me about every stupid little thing or asking me questions about stupid shit. Or worse, my five-year old niece - who I do honestly love and enjoy spending time with - will be staying over because Mom babysits. And that's fine, but of course, because she's five years old, never leaves me alone even when I'm all but ignoring her and wanting her to just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I know, I know. Five years old. Still.
Thirdly, it absolutely sucks to have a girlfriend while living with your parents. Absolutely zero chance of any kind of alone time. Which is doubly worse because she also lives with her parents. So right now, we have nowhere to go with all this mutual pent up sexual frustration after being together for almost two months.
And then tonight, I wanted to sit back and watch a movie. A dumb movie - Transformers 4. NOPE. Because even though I had the volume turned down so low that I could barely even hear what people were saying it, my father kept coming out complaining about the noise. Because I swear to fuck, his ears are more sensitive than a fucking dog. So finally, I just said, "Fine. FINE. Here. I'm turning it off, okay? There. I won't even watch it!"
For one, I have absolutely zero privacy. My room is more of a den, where there are sliding doors (with windows) and curtains, which you can still see through. On top of that, they're always bugging me about the stupidest things or I hear them arguing over the stupidest things. Note: they clearly wanted to divorce years ago but didn't because they can't financially support themselves individually.
Secondly, times that I want to be alone? Or maybe just have a nice, lazy, quiet day? NOPE. They just keep bugging me about every stupid little thing or asking me questions about stupid shit. Or worse, my five-year old niece - who I do honestly love and enjoy spending time with - will be staying over because Mom babysits. And that's fine, but of course, because she's five years old, never leaves me alone even when I'm all but ignoring her and wanting her to just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I know, I know. Five years old. Still.
Thirdly, it absolutely sucks to have a girlfriend while living with your parents. Absolutely zero chance of any kind of alone time. Which is doubly worse because she also lives with her parents. So right now, we have nowhere to go with all this mutual pent up sexual frustration after being together for almost two months.
And then tonight, I wanted to sit back and watch a movie. A dumb movie - Transformers 4. NOPE. Because even though I had the volume turned down so low that I could barely even hear what people were saying it, my father kept coming out complaining about the noise. Because I swear to fuck, his ears are more sensitive than a fucking dog. So finally, I just said, "Fine. FINE. Here. I'm turning it off, okay? There. I won't even watch it!"
shit man, that beats my rant by a long shot. I sorted my shit out from earlier. I mean I too live with my folks, but they dont even talk to me unless I dont come around at all during the day. Sorry to hear you get no privacy.
Each of us has to deal with this stuff in the way that's best for them, and no other. I've told my wife that I'll be there for her no matter what when it's her father's time to go, because though we joke about throwing a going away party once his child-beating ass is on its way out of this mortal coil, really we have no idea how she'll feel. Even if there isn't mourning of a person, there can be mourning for the lost potential of what could've existed had they been a good parent.
This is basically my life right now, minus the child and girlfriend.
My only real advice? Get out of the house. No, not move out (but do that when you can. seriously) but find some way to spend a day/few days away from the family. Go camping... do an out of town convention... lie about these things and just rent a hotel room for fucking.... whatever. Just go out and spend time with your girlfriend somewhere away from everyone else. This is literally the reason I spend a week in Atlanta with my friends at the end of a semester. For like $100-150, I can take a bus down there and just relax by doing NOTHING but hang out with them, reading books, and watching movies. Just being away from everyone else is great.
I would get this all the time trying to play games on the PC. I finally gave up and switched to headphones. Haven't used the speakers in nearly 4 years.
I wanted to enjoy watching the movie on the TV, though. I did actually wind up watching most of it on my computer with headphones, but that meant watching it on a tiny notebook screen. Not exactly the same thing.
I lived with my sister and bro-in-law during part of my undergrad. I am eternally grateful for their support b/c I could not have afforded it otherwise.
However, everything you said @ThatNickGuy applies. I did what @Ravenpoe said, and spent most of my free time out of the house, and just used the place to sleep. That helped. I also solely used headphones like @DarkAudit suggested.
And, no, I never brought a girl home. That would've been crazy weird.
Maybe you could set some ground rules, respectfully? Also, remember that you are fortunate to have family that is willing to let you stay with them.
However, everything you said @ThatNickGuy applies. I did what @Ravenpoe said, and spent most of my free time out of the house, and just used the place to sleep. That helped. I also solely used headphones like @DarkAudit suggested.
And, no, I never brought a girl home. That would've been crazy weird.
Maybe you could set some ground rules, respectfully? Also, remember that you are fortunate to have family that is willing to let you stay with them.
fade
Staff member
Hey, you'd get along with my kids. Maybe it's because I grew up in the middle of nowhere, but I don't like the tv up or lights on at night. It bugs my wife and kids.
This is a bit graphic (butt stuff!), so I'll spoiler it, but...I think I need to see my doctor about something.
So I was taking a shower tonight and washing the usual sun-don't-shine spots.
That's when I felt a...bump right outside my asshole. At first, I honestly thought it was some large clump of shit that I somehow didn't wipe, but that wasn't it. When I poked it, it didn't hurt. It was fleshy and the skin registered my touch. Didn't hurt, though.
So now, I'm getting kind of worried. It doesn't hurt, so it's not haemorrhoids. Told my girlfriend about it. She thinks it might be a pimple, but again, that would register some small pain, especially one that big. It's about the size of my knuckle, or twice the size of maybe a pinto bean.
Obviously, I'm not jumping right to the cancer conclusion, but I can't help but consider it. I'm looking up a bit on what it might be and one thing I came across was anal cancer, which can happen through HPV. I had dated a girl briefly with HPV, but we didn't have intercourse (outside of brief oral from her to me, one time). Possible I might have contracted it, though?
Either way, I'm not assuming anything, panicking, or jumping to any conclusions. I'm going to see my doctor and go from there.
That's when I felt a...bump right outside my asshole. At first, I honestly thought it was some large clump of shit that I somehow didn't wipe, but that wasn't it. When I poked it, it didn't hurt. It was fleshy and the skin registered my touch. Didn't hurt, though.
So now, I'm getting kind of worried. It doesn't hurt, so it's not haemorrhoids. Told my girlfriend about it. She thinks it might be a pimple, but again, that would register some small pain, especially one that big. It's about the size of my knuckle, or twice the size of maybe a pinto bean.
Obviously, I'm not jumping right to the cancer conclusion, but I can't help but consider it. I'm looking up a bit on what it might be and one thing I came across was anal cancer, which can happen through HPV. I had dated a girl briefly with HPV, but we didn't have intercourse (outside of brief oral from her to me, one time). Possible I might have contracted it, though?
Either way, I'm not assuming anything, panicking, or jumping to any conclusions. I'm going to see my doctor and go from there.
Once the boil is treated, ask the doctor to put your ass in a sling.
I'm assuming it's most likely a cyst. An ex had one right at the base of her tailbone. She said it was only uncomfortable when squeezed, though that became more difficult over time as it grew larger...until that one blessed day in the shower when it finally burst.
But yes, you should have someone who can view it without contorting take a look at it, and probably have it checked out. I am assuming the odds are that it's benign, so I wouldn't panic until AFTER you get a diagnosis of malignancy.
But yes, you should have someone who can view it without contorting take a look at it, and probably have it checked out. I am assuming the odds are that it's benign, so I wouldn't panic until AFTER you get a diagnosis of malignancy.
Definitely go see a doctor to make sure, but don't freak out too much. I experienced something similar once that turned out to be a hemorrhoid, even though it didn't hurt. Go pay a man* to shine a light up your ass.
*preferably a doctor
*preferably a doctor
Oh, I know. Just figured my luck that I only got that action ONCE and possibly contracted it. Wondered if I had for years.
(And I also know that once is all it takes.)
It's surprising, though. I thought I'd be panicking or freaking out, but I'm surprisingly calm about it. Weirded out and a little scared, but that's it. I'm not gonna freak out until I see a doctor and he gives me reason to.
I have a semi-funny story about going to the doctor to pay for butt-play, if it would help.
oh god, I have a story for you all about this and to put @ThatNickGuy at ease!
when I was about 19 I had one of those things pop, except it was up in my colon and so i shit like a half pint of blood. I filled the bowl of the toilet red, and went basically mortified to the ER. Upon arrival the doctors and nurses put me at ease, and hell my favorite doctor from the clinic was on rotation in ER so I felt I was in capable hands. The doctor proceeded to have my lie on the bed face down and go about a digital exam(this is when the doctor basically feels around with his fingers up your butt), my ass HURT and so I was squirming like crazy! the doctor leans over and whispers into my ear "I dont enjoy doing this anymore then you like being a human ventriloquist dummy..." after everything I had just been through I burst into laughter so hard I was crying and the doctor had this big shit eating grin on his face that he had just made me crack up.
I'd say it's likely a hemorrhoid even if it doesn't hurt. After having 2 babies, I'm more familiar with them than I like to admit.
fade
Staff member
I was going to post the same thing. Well except for the having two babies part.
Dave
Staff member
When I went in for my first rectal exam my boss dared me to find a joke that the doctor had never heard before. So I go in, drop my pants and right before he stuck that cold finger in I said, "Man, I thought I had until April 15."
The doctor thought about it a bit and then started laughing. And no, he'd never heard that before.
For those who don't get the joke...
The doctor thought about it a bit and then started laughing. And no, he'd never heard that before.
For those who don't get the joke...
April 15th is the tax deadline in the US. So it's usually then when you take it up the ass.
So I have to do a fair amount of public speaking in my position, and act as an advocate/cheerleader/motivator for the entire organization. I was asked last night to give a 10 minute talk to pump people up about our company and explain what our culture is, and who we are identity-wise to the entire organization. I wrote a pretty great presentation that I felt would feel powerful and make people think.
Then I forgot to smile the entire time so it came across as very heavy, forceful, direct and paternalistic. My buddy in the office here, and even my boss are taking great delight in chiding me for my seriousness which usually isn't my normal way of doing business.
The lesson learned is: smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
Then I forgot to smile the entire time so it came across as very heavy, forceful, direct and paternalistic. My buddy in the office here, and even my boss are taking great delight in chiding me for my seriousness which usually isn't my normal way of doing business.
The lesson learned is: smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
The first best thing is : Eat.
B
BErt
I agree.
We're not going to agree on this BErt, so I have a compromise--
The first best thing thing you can do is eat, which supplies the necessary ingredients to produce fart noises.
Man, my company had been making sound like they would keep me despite the fact that the building is being sold because they were going to lease two floors and keep some people on. But I was just given my two weeks notice 
They said they may extend it another month but they aren't sure, but to me this is a stupid move. I support a huge range of things and not just for this site I also provide support for three of our other sites out here and they are basically just leaving them high and dry for support just to save a few bucks. They did say they will see if I can fit any other positions but most are in Oregon or Seattle and I don't want to move to Oregon and I would only take the Seattle job if I could take the train because I don't want to move and I am not driving 120 miles round trip everyday.
They said they may extend it another month but they aren't sure, but to me this is a stupid move. I support a huge range of things and not just for this site I also provide support for three of our other sites out here and they are basically just leaving them high and dry for support just to save a few bucks. They did say they will see if I can fit any other positions but most are in Oregon or Seattle and I don't want to move to Oregon and I would only take the Seattle job if I could take the train because I don't want to move and I am not driving 120 miles round trip everyday.
doomdragon6
Staff member
I don't think I would ever get that joke, even after having just heard it.
My mom dragged me and my whole family to see left behind movie 21 on total. I am not going to enjoy this. Sigh
No, you won't. It's not even so bad it's good, apparently. Just boring.