doomdragon6
Staff member
I talked to some people and I feel better. It's more feeling like I should be "done" with certain people. Like, "Oh, you're lying to my face and I know it? Shouldn't I say "fuck you"?" Or "You're flaking again? Cool." Or "Man, that's an awful lot of drama and dumb decisions I have nothing to do with, but you're going to bring me into it."
But I have this policy of striving very hard to be there for everyone. To be kind, comforting, caring, etc, for EVERYONE. I will hate no one, as long as they're like, not setting dogs on fire and shit. I strive to always make time for someone if they're having a hard time, or need help. It could be barely an acquaintance who's too drunk calling me at 3am asking for a ride. I will always make a strong effort to do it.
Typically I can tell it's very appreciated and people consider me a VERY kind and helpful, genuine person. But every now and then I feel like I'm being taken for a ride, and I have to decide if I want to become bitter and jaded and tell everyone to fuck off. Last night I very well almost did, to some people I care about a pretty good bit. But, in the end, I managed to resist, and I was able to force the mask back on.
It was actually a bit liberating. I learned that I can see someone for who they are yet still be the bigger person about it. Like, "Yeah, I know you're lying. I'm still going to be cheerful to you. You fuck."
But I have this policy of striving very hard to be there for everyone. To be kind, comforting, caring, etc, for EVERYONE. I will hate no one, as long as they're like, not setting dogs on fire and shit. I strive to always make time for someone if they're having a hard time, or need help. It could be barely an acquaintance who's too drunk calling me at 3am asking for a ride. I will always make a strong effort to do it.
Typically I can tell it's very appreciated and people consider me a VERY kind and helpful, genuine person. But every now and then I feel like I'm being taken for a ride, and I have to decide if I want to become bitter and jaded and tell everyone to fuck off. Last night I very well almost did, to some people I care about a pretty good bit. But, in the end, I managed to resist, and I was able to force the mask back on.
It was actually a bit liberating. I learned that I can see someone for who they are yet still be the bigger person about it. Like, "Yeah, I know you're lying. I'm still going to be cheerful to you. You fuck."