That's not what I got out Gassy's story. I got a tourism motto
"Texas. Leave the basement behind"™
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
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"Texas. Leave the basement behind"™
"...unless there's a tornado, then get your ass back in that basement*."
(*Alamo not included.)
It's the central theme to most of the gumption-producing works I know. Think and Grow Rich is basically a hundred or so pages of "never stop trying." Most addiction cessation plans boil down to "don't quit quitting." The advice you frequently get from friends/family/television/etc is "Just power through it until you come out the other side" or some such. So I guess the winning strategy is essentially "Don't succumb."
Or, as Jason Nesmith puts it...
--Patrick
I feel your pain.
Still depressed. And so much for being employed. I just quit. Having a near mental breakdown and crying spree last night was the kicker for me. *Sigh* What's the point, anyway?
Nick, honest to God man, you need to push your doctors about their "diagnosis." You show almost all the signs of Bipolar Disorder, Situational Depression is not what you keep showing us. You HAVE to push this to get the help you need. You've been running the "high" for the past month or so, and now you've crashed hard, not because of a change in your situation, but due to something else. Push it, fight for it, you have the capability and talent to succeed when you're riding that good spell, and the lows are destroying you. This isn't because of a failure on your part, but the failure of someone making the "easy" diagnosis instead of the one that you need to truly help you.
I've seen SEVERAL doctors, counsellors, psychologists, and psychiatrists. They've all considered bipolar and ruled it out. My downs might be bad, but my ups aren't manic or hyperactive.
And I still say you need to push it. Just because it isn't the "worst" they've seen (and this is from experience with many that have gone through these things) doesn't mean it isn't. From what you share, and that's ALL I have to go on, and what you've said you're taking, the present diagnosis isn't right, you're still swinging wildly, you're not staying more centered and handling the lows better.
I'm not saying this stuff to brow-beat you, or run you down, but because I do care about you, someone that is just a friend on the internet.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you've spent hours speaking with me personally in your office and not knowing snippets of me and my life from reading posts on here. My mistake.
It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride.
I was on top of a ladder.....
Unafraid although the danger just increased?
Trapped.....
One as tall as a mountain?
No just 12 ft up. Stuck holding something in place when I needed a tool.....30 minutes later they found it.
Screw your courage to the sticking place...
That's worthy of a t-shirt.
Take whatever booty you can find.
Well, there's only so much fun I can get out of one song.
The trick is to want to hug them at least a tiny bit more than you want to kill them.
I have the same philosophy with my doomweasels.
Cajungal
Staff member
First thing's first: hugs. Because I know that things are very hard for you, and I wish we could take all of that away. I can't imagine what it's like.
Second of all... You tell us, Nick. What do you want from us? Would you prefer that we don't address the things you post here at all, except for maybe a hug and an "I'm sorry?" Because almost anything else is met with hostility, from hopefulness for your future to advice. I'm not angry or upset. It's not your fault that you have this problem. I'm asking seriously. People have a right to vent without unsolicited advice, but as long as we love you, we'll want to help in the only way we know how/are able. So tell us what you want from us right now-- Should we offer silent support and otherwise ignore these posts?
And seriously, again. I'm sorry and hugs. I know that if any of us could somehow make this better, we would. But we can't. It's that feeling that makes people want to speak up out of love and concern.
I want people to stop trying to psychoanalyze me when professionals have been doing it for years. That's all. What do I tell my psychiatrist tomorrow?
"Yeah, these people on an internet who never met me in real life think your analysis of my condition is wrong."
"Yeah, these people on an internet who never met me in real life think your analysis of my condition is wrong."
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Honestly, I don't know what to say. I've been stuck like this for decades. DECADES. And nothing has helped. I keep falling back into this hole and every time I crawl out of it or think I crawl out of it, I fall right back in again. I'm not exactly thinking rationally right now, so I don't even know what I want anyone to say. Because I guarantee any positivity will either be misread by my idiocy or I'll shoot it down because I can't think positively.
I know that it's not the same, but I have had to fight hard to get a diagnosis for several conditions. The neurologist I saw right after my accident, didn't believe that extensive nerve damage could happen that way and was way too casual about it. I pushed for nerve testing and he was floored by the results and scheduled my first surgery.
When it came to my arthritis, the first I don't know how many doctors I saw, wouldn't diagnose me with the condition I have because I wasn't a guy, wasn't old enough and had flares in different joints than guys start with.
Don't be shy to fight for yourself. Push for testing that you feel is needed and ask for a second or third opinion if you don't think your current treatment is working. Our provincial health care is pretty crappy so we have to be our own advocates!
When it came to my arthritis, the first I don't know how many doctors I saw, wouldn't diagnose me with the condition I have because I wasn't a guy, wasn't old enough and had flares in different joints than guys start with.
Don't be shy to fight for yourself. Push for testing that you feel is needed and ask for a second or third opinion if you don't think your current treatment is working. Our provincial health care is pretty crappy so we have to be our own advocates!
I feel you, man, although for different reasons. People know they can't build or design a car without training. They can't paint a picture without practice. They can't perform surgery without years of study. But psychology? That's just intuitive. After all, everyone is a person. What more do you need to know? Why even offer a degree in it?
fade
Staff member
I get what you're saying, but with medicine, the doctor isn't you. I don't think questioning a diagnosis means that you know more about medicine than the doctor does, but you do know more about your own body than the doctor does. If a car could say, hey that design's not working doc, that'd be awesome, in fact.
The doctor needs the constellation of symptoms to make the diagnosis. The only way the novice has one over on the doctor is if they have withheld some information. To say nothing of a novice trying to counter-diagnose someone else that has already been to multiple doctors. What possible insight does that person have, with 0 medical training and 0 internal experience to draw on?
fade
Staff member
I'm not talking about a competition, though. Doctors aren't omniscient or infallible. The insight that novice has is observation under non-clinical conditions. I'm not trying to say a novice is right and a doctor is wrong. I'm saying the novice may have seen something the doctor didn't. Doctors revise diagnoses all the time as new information arises. What does it hurt to bring up concerns? If I went to a doctor and he told me I was cancer free, but my layperson friend spotted a weird lump on my back, I'd surely bring it up with the doctor.
It's also possible someone does withhold information without any intent. Maybe it's a group of friends who notice this and tell that friend, who brings it up with the professional, who says, "oh okay, that makes a difference">
It's also possible someone does withhold information without any intent. Maybe it's a group of friends who notice this and tell that friend, who brings it up with the professional, who says, "oh okay, that makes a difference">
It is the diagnosis part that is, frankly, inappropriate. Sure, a novice friend can point something out. A patient can note something to tell their doctor. That is all information the doctor needs. But the doctor translates that information into a diagnosis using their training. A novice does that using nothing more than a recognition heuristic
All we can go on is what we're told, what we observe. Nick, you have bouts of massive productivity and upbeat postings, followed by these times when your depression takes the wheel. I hate seeing you go through this, I know others on here feel the same way. We just want to help, and for some of us, that means tossing out diagnoses, based on what we know from what you've told and shown us.
That being said, I fucking detest people who don't know anything about the law or law enforcement telling me how I should be doing my job, so I can see the other side of it, too...
That being said, I fucking detest people who don't know anything about the law or law enforcement telling me how I should be doing my job, so I can see the other side of it, too...
I do legislative audits and the people audit constantly argue that the rules aren't fair and try to argue ethics, being sympathetic and thinking of the greater good etc. I may agree with them but an act is what it is and that's what I have to go by. I also need evidence. Nothing drives me more bananas than being give a huge power point presentation and a massive sob story then when I ask for their records....*blank stares*......