fade

Staff member
I don't really like steak. I'm not a vegetarian or anything, but it just looks, feels, and tastes too much like what it is for me.
 
Aren't we all Southerners to HCGLNS? (And Neil Young.)
Oh man keep on rocking in the free world has been running non stop during your election cycle.


I'm eating chips and salsa.

And I can remember a time when that was a luxury of exotic foods that my parents might reward me with once or twice a year.
 
So, I was gonna write this out as a shakespeare scene, with a lazy attempt at iambic pentameter, but I just can't be bothered.

At a meeting at work this morning the supervisor started off by asking the people who parked in a prohibited area to go move their cars. After a dozen people left to do so, he lectured the rest of us about not parking there.

I just incredulously asked him "Why are you telling us?"
 

Dave

Staff member
Today in the mail I got a new box of CarbQuik and some carb-free syrup. Tonight I'm making mother fucking PANCAKES, son!

I have missed pancakes so much!

Down to 191, though.
 
I have this irrational fear of being severed by high pressure water jets, and now there's this popular water jet channel on youtube. Terrifying.
My father worked for the Texas Railroad Commission. He was at a site to monitor a wellhead test. The company put something like 10,000psi of water on the wellhead, and it failed. It sent a part of the wellhead at my dad. It struck him, followed by a stream the equivalent of 1,000 fire hoses. The cap hit him in the leg, flipping him a couple of times, and the water pushed him at least 80 feet down a gravel road. Shockingly he survived. The cap gave him the nastiest bruise you ever saw, his leg was black near the knee, then purple, blue, red, yellow gradients from the ankle to his crotch. He was scarred pretty badly. The worst injury was his wrist was shattered. There was not much the doctors could do for his wrist. He only has about a 40% range of motion in that wrist. He had to learn to wipe... with is other hand.

I hope that alleviates your fear.
 
Conversation between me and my daughter:

Daughter: "Why are there so many ads about babies on the radio right now?"

Me: "Well, a lot of babies tend to be born around this time of the year."

D: "Why?"

M: "Well, because Valentine's Day was 9 months ago."

D: "Oooooooh. Interesting. But that's kind of gross."
 
Conversation between me and my daughter:

Daughter: "Why are there so many ads about babies on the radio right now?"

Me: "Well, a lot of babies tend to be born around this time of the year."

D: "Why?"

M: "Well, because Valentine's Day was 9 months ago."

D: "Oooooooh. Interesting. But that's kind of gross."
My daughter recently figured out that her brother was born nine months after my birthday.
 
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