Well, duh.
Of course, drinking impairs your judgement, so you're more likely to throw caution to the winds after you've had a few. This is why setting up some sort of Ulystses contract is so important.
--Patrick
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
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Of course, drinking impairs your judgement, so you're more likely to throw caution to the winds after you've had a few. This is why setting up some sort of Ulystses contract is so important.
--Patrick
Dave
Staff member
Back from the hospital. He's in stable but critical condition. The girlfriend is fine and does NOT have a brain bleed, but they found a small cyst when scanning so it's a plus for her.
Stephan is not so good. They think he might have internal issues and when he was first brought back around his pupils were dilated at different sizes, which can be an indicator of neurological damage. The next 24-48 hours will tell how bad things are, but no matter what they say he'll not walk again.
Stephan is not so good. They think he might have internal issues and when he was first brought back around his pupils were dilated at different sizes, which can be an indicator of neurological damage. The next 24-48 hours will tell how bad things are, but no matter what they say he'll not walk again.
That's just awful. I feel sick to my stomach for his parents and his brothers and sisters if he has any.
I think I mentioned last year my 2nd or 3rd cousin (or maybe he's a step or two removed, I don't know about these things) broke his neck diving into a pool out in Nova Scotia. He's been awfully lucky (outside the absolutely horrible luck of becoming quadriplegic) with the support he's getting. His landlord put a lot of work into his place to make it accessible for him, for example. And I'm still rather surprised that his girlfriend hasn't left.
All this is to say, I hope this fellow finds some good support through the aftermath.
All this is to say, I hope this fellow finds some good support through the aftermath.
It's really amazing about his girlfriend. It's wonderful to see. I'm in a few online support groups for my health issues and pretty much every other post is about someone's husband or boyfriend being a jerk about something and/or leaving.
fade
Staff member
I don't know... on the one hand I want to be angry at people who leave those who have become disabled or ill, but then--practically speaking--they have their own lives, too. And there's no sugar-coating the fact that the disabled person has become a burden. I'm not saying any of this is right or wrong--I'm just saying it's not some weird thing.
Society has essentially devalued marriage to the point where I don't think there's any reason to harshly judge one who drops out of any relationship when it becomes convenient for them to do so. We have no fault divorce. People quit marriage over many things of significantly lesser importance than illness. It almost seems like most people avoid marriage until they've reached a point with their partner where marriage is somehow justified - birth of a child, tax benefits, inheritance/death/visitation rights, etc - and even then I know many who don't choose marriage. Is there anything people do inside marriage that they don't do prior to marriage now anyway?
So while I might personally have issue with someone leaving their partner in the lurch when illness becomes significant, I don't think that is justified or valued by our societal standards any more, and I'm merely applying my own morality and values to a person to whom such things don't apply in the same way or measure.
So while I might personally have issue with someone leaving their partner in the lurch when illness becomes significant, I don't think that is justified or valued by our societal standards any more, and I'm merely applying my own morality and values to a person to whom such things don't apply in the same way or measure.
This is so people can get away from abusive spouses without the need to find proof. What the fuck.
I'm not saying we should get rid of it, change it, or that it's a bad thing. I'm sorry you took it that way.
I hope that you can see that it no longer matters that it was meant for a specific purpose, it has changed society's views of marriage and how much meaning or strength they hold. That's my only point, and I would be interested in a discussion as to whether marriage strength and meaning has increased over the decades if my assertion isn't true.
I would posit that Women's Lib has played a far more significant role in our societies' views on marriage than any other factor.
Women now have the fully capable of supporting themselves financially, so there's not the same need for them to be shackled to a man, and society doesn't need to pressure a man into staying with his wife to ensure that she has support. And along with financial freedom, women have asserted more control over their bodies and sexuality. They don't need to dangle the lure of "moral sex" in order to hook a husband/wallet.
Whatever sentimental feelings you have about your marriage - and they're real and good, I don't mean to say otherwise - I think the fundamental core of marriage is a societal tool used to keep women supported in a community where women rely on someone else for food and shelter.
As women gain equality, marriage is bound to change dramatically.
Also, Socialism. The more we rely on government to take care of us, the less inclined we'll be to bind ourselves to some other individual.[DOUBLEPOST=1498580555,1498580463][/DOUBLEPOST]
I should be so wise.
But I'm not looking for an argument. I'm just talking.
GasBandit
Staff member
Go on: Tell me I'm wrong. You can't.
Buddy you have no idea how much I am restraining myself right now.
GasBandit
Staff member
Well, no, it's not that you're wrong, it's that it's not an improvement. Sort of an "if we set the homeless on fire they won't be cold at night" type of line of reasoning.
So, I guess:
Job ending. Car falling apart all at once. Rejection from latest interview. Now a certified letter from the bank because we had to choose the nursing home for mom over the mortgage and they don't accept partial payments.
Fuck this week. Fuck today in particular. I'm going to bed. No point in getting up until Thursday night if the part for the car doesn't come in before then.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Fuck this week. Fuck today in particular. I'm going to bed. No point in getting up until Thursday night if the part for the car doesn't come in before then.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Oh. You read what I said as though I was saying it was something desirable. I was just pointing out a trend that is actually occuring, without judging it.
Well, no, it's not that you're wrong, it's that it's not an improvement. Sort of an "if we set the homeless on fire they won't be cold at night" type of line of reasoning.
So, I guess:
I think it's an unfortunate side effect of what is otherwise an improvement, rather like I figure @stienman would - if my hypothesis above was actually correct - consider the decline of marriage an unfortunate side effect of Women's Lib, an otherwise fantastic improvement.[DOUBLEPOST=1498582125,1498581980][/DOUBLEPOST]
That is an awfully big rant, dude. I'm so sorry things are turning even worse for you.
You should make yourself one of these.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/267208708/dnd-rpg-dice-shaming-dice-jail
I feel bad that my comment started all this 
I wasn't trying to discuss the current attitudes towards marriage or anything. I was just pointing out how it's really sad to see how many of us facing this disease out there are facing it without a supportive partner.
Until it's advanced to a pretty severe case, it's an invisible disability and it can be hard for some partners to understand what they can't see.
I wasn't trying to discuss the current attitudes towards marriage or anything. I was just pointing out how it's really sad to see how many of us facing this disease out there are facing it without a supportive partner.
Until it's advanced to a pretty severe case, it's an invisible disability and it can be hard for some partners to understand what they can't see.
Well then let me take the blame. I was the one who truly brought up the subject.I feel bad that my comment started all this
And I don't feel bad.
Offer them your support, of course. You are an important family friend. But do not commit so much of your time/money/energy that you and your family will suffer as a result. You are no good to either family if you do not make sure to keep yourself on solid ground.
And unless you were driving the car, I doubt you were any more responsible for his accident than you were for the recent earthquake. This is the "questionable cause" fallacy, where correlation does not guarantee causation.
--Patrick
