2016: the year of the sex robot?

[PatrThom]

"Boston Dynamics unveiled their newest model today..."
"...eeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeee...."

--Patrick

 

[GasBandit]

And 2016 winds to a close, potential squandered, our dreams unrealized.

... or are they...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4060440/Woman-reveals-love-ROBOT-wants-marry-it.html

 

[Terrik]

This is what started the Omnic war in Overwatch.

 

[GasBandit]

This is what started the Omnic war in Overwatch.

 

[Null]

The "Steely Dan" puns seem too obvious.

 

[Bubble181]

No better or worse than your average waifu body pillow. But I hope marriage will only be granted if and when it can be conclusively proven a robot can grant consent - that's the bar we set for all other variations of marriage, after all.

 

[Gruebeard]

consent - that's the bar we set for all other variations of marriage, after all.

I guess you've never heard of a shotgun wedding.

 

[Null]

I guess you've never heard of a shotgun wedding.

Or arranged marriages, or child marriages...

 

[Gruebeard]

Aye, but I was going for the joke.

(I also wanted to cut off Bubble from being able to counter that he meant modern Western culture)

 

[Denbrought]

Or arranged marriages, or child marriages...

All right, we got white marriage, black marriage, spanish marriage, yellow marriage, we got hot marriage, cold marriage, we got wet marriage, we got smelly marriage, we got hairy marriage, bloody marriage, we got snappin’ marriage, we got silk marriage, velvet marriage, naugahyde marriage, we even got horse marriage, dog marriage, chicken marriage!

 

[GasBandit]

All right, we got white marriage, black marriage, spanish marriage, yellow marriage, we got hot marriage, cold marriage, we got wet marriage, we got smelly marriage, we got hairy marriage, bloody marriage, we got snappin’ marriage, we got silk marriage, velvet marriage, naugahyde marriage, we even got horse marriage, dog marriage, chicken marriage!

If you can find a cheaper marriage anywhere else... Marry it!

 

[GasBandit]

Meanwhile, research continues, and advances continue to be made.

 

[sixpackshaker]

No, I have not wondered that...

 

[fade]

That's mesmerizing. They've discovered the harmonic frequency of the human dick.

 

[PatrThom]

Latex is latex, right?

--Patrick

 

[GasBandit]

Europe’s first sex robot brothel FORCED OUT of base as prostitutes complain of competition.

 

[bhamv3]

Europe’s first sex robot brothel FORCED OUT of base as prostitutes complain of competition.

If I can adapt to the idea of competing against a machine for my livelihood, then I think the prostitutes of Barcelona should be able to too.

 

[Null]

They weren't even robots, they were RealDolls. Basically it was a brothel for squeamish necrophiliacs.

 

[GasBandit]

MEANWHILE, IN CHINA

Ok, it's from 2014, but yes, it's exactly what you think it is.

https://www.themarysue.com/sperm-extractor/

 

[PatrThom]

Not even the first time it's been on the forum, either.
I'll let you guess where.

--Patrick

 

[fade]

Wonder if the Jawas carry a selection of sexbots. We don't really see androids in the movies so it would probably look something like that. "Look uh, Mr. Jawa--it can get awfully lonely out here on the moisture farm, if'n you catch my meaning" "Yes sir, this way, sir. Meet 69-DD"

 

[GasBandit]

Wonder if the Jawas carry a selection of sexbots. We don't really see androids in the movies so it would probably look something like that. "Look uh, Mr. Jawa--it can get awfully lonely out here on the moisture farm, if'n you catch my meaning" "Yes sir, this way, sir. Meet 69-DD"

You know, I always thought fleshlights kinda looked like lightsaber hilts.

 

[bhamv3]

You know, I always thought fleshlights kinda looked like lightsaber hilts.

Oh god... I just got a mental image of someone mistaking a lightsaber hilt for a fleshlight, and... uh...

 

[BErt]

Oh god... I just got a mental image of someone mistaking a lightsaber hilt for a fleshlight, and... uh...

...This was your father's fleshlight...

 

[Terrik]

MEANWHILE, IN CHINA

Ok, it's from 2014, but yes, it's exactly what you think it is.

https://www.themarysue.com/sperm-extractor/

Oh no, I left China too soon! Now how will my semen be extracted?

 

[bhamv3]

Oh no, I left China too soon! Now how will my semen be extracted?

With a lightsaber, of course.

 

[PatrThom]

Oh no, I left China too soon! Now how will my semen be extracted?

You'll have to do it yourself. Manually.

--Patrick

 

[Tress]

You'll have to do it yourself. Manually.

--Patrick

I'm sure his wife can help too.

 

[Null]

I'm sure his wife can help too.

Thus illustrating the difference between "can" and "will".

 

[GasBandit]

A look inside a sex robot factory



https://www.cnet.com/pictures/sex-robots-sexbots-abyss-creations-factory-realdoll-harmony/

 

[fade]

So, uh, how do they quality control that stuff?

Remember the old Hanes underwear commercial with the "Inspected by number 12" guy? Do these come with a little slip of paper that says, "Fucked by number 12"?

 

[GasBandit]

So, uh, how do they quality control that stuff?

Remember the old Hanes underwear commercial with the "Inspected by number 12" guy? Do these come with a little slip of paper that says, "Fucked by number 12"?

Well, I mean, it's not like inspector number twelve PUT ON the underwear before stamping it.

 

[Dei]

Well, I mean, it's not like inspector number twelve PUT ON the underwear before stamping it.

But are you SURE?!

 

[GasBandit]

But are you SURE?!

Well, I mean, only as sure as I am about the other light being red when my light is green. I don't know it for a FACT, but I feel pretty confident.

 

[PatrThom]

That reminds me. I meant to mention to @Gas about the cover of Smithsonian Magazine's June 2017 issue:

This suggests a completely different movie scene:
"I want to say one word to you...just one word:"
". . . . 'fuckbots.'"

--Patrick
(no BTW I have not yet seen The Graduate)