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2016: the year of the sex robot?

#1

GasBandit

GasBandit

While I was driving home tonight, I heard an interesting story on talk radio. Apparently there are articles floating around that are saying that 2016 will be the year that the sex robot becomes a thing in the US.

At first, I had the same reaction that probably many of you had - "ha ha yeah, perverts are perverts after all, and body pillows and realdolls are a thing, so this is next I guess," but the longer I listened to the host and her guest (also female) talk about the subject favorably, the more it caused me to consider there might be more to it than just icky people doing icky things.

We're not just talking dolls with vibrators/sheaths/dildoes/realistic pliable anuses/etc, we're talking realistically moving constructs with artificial intelligence. Potential AI companions, lovers, perhaps even relationship partners.

Besides combatting loneliness and reducing the spread of STDs, they could in time help effect societal change in reducing the cultural pressure to have sex because you're "supposed" to, especially in young people. It can be a healthy thing, apparently. It could help fight teen pregnancy.

When I got home, I tried to find the article in question, but I wasn't really able to. I found a few ones in a similar vein.

http://metro.co.uk/2016/01/07/sex-robots-could-be-biggest-tech-trend-of-2016-5606545/

http://www.unilad.co.uk/sex/would-you-sleep-with-any-of-these-creepy-realistic-sex-robots/

http://motherboard.vice.com/en_ca/read/hot-robots-wont-end-sex

So what do you folks think? The next obvious step now that the stigma is starting to go away from masturbation and using sex toys? Or still just creepy wierdoes being yucky? Bear in mind, it's not all aimed at guys, either. There are already sex machines (from vibrators on up) made for female use.

Let's hear from you!


#2

Terrik

Terrik

Skipped articles, went to videos. Wasn't disappointed.


#3

Charlie Don't Surf

Charlie Don't Surf

in 11 months i resolve to find this thread and update it with all my robot fucking of the year.


#4

Dei

Dei

I mean, to me it seems more like glorified masturbation. Sorry. :p Plus, I don't care how sophisticated robotics is becoming, robotics is not yet at the point where a face won't be creepy vs. realistic.

Besides, once you start having sophisticated enough AI to make it more than that, does consent become an issue? I feel like we're still pretty far from that.


#5

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

This thread is going to be special.


#6

bhamv3

bhamv3

Personally I think a sexbot sounds like more trouble than it's worth (I mean, what's wrong with just using your hand?) but nonetheless I shall be following this issue with interest.


#7

fade

fade

I mean, to me it seems more like glorified masturbation. Sorry. :p Plus, I don't care how sophisticated robotics is becoming, robotics is not yet at the point where a face won't be creepy vs. realistic.

Besides, once you start having sophisticated enough AI to make it more than that, does consent become an issue? I feel like we're still pretty far from that.
Depends on what you mean by pretty far. Last I heard, the AI guys at MIT are kind of in an "any day now" mode, with all sorts of prototypes and support software in the works. I mean, it's not something that would be commercial this year, but could be soon.


#8

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

It all depends on whether or not the first model sex bot costs less than an oculus rift.


#9

drawn_inward

drawn_inward

Well, next year is 2017. Where is my Cherry 2000?


#10

Dave

Dave

So are those who aren't first adopters going to be called sloppy seconds?

Seriously, though, is this something we really need? With VR and sex robots, aren't we just making it so that more people turn into anti-social neckbeards simply because it's easier than real human interaction? I'm not trying to make light of anyone's social anxiety, but I would think this not only exacerbates the issue but will actually create more people who have it.


#11

Dei

Dei

Japan is already kind of there, as far as the "social interaction it's too hard" point is concerned.


#12

Bubble181

Bubble181

We are definitely slowly heading towards an antisocial distopia where most people won't need to - and won't - leave their house. Most everything can be house delivered, more and more jobs can be done from home and we're pushed towards it because of the environment, VR and the internet give us the ability to experience things "better" than if we were actually there. Life as depicted in "A Very Private Life", or, to stay more modern, "Ready Player One", is fast approaching.
I don't know if ex bots will really make that much of a difference. Dildo's and vibrators have been a thing for quite a while for women, Fleshlights exist. A combination of either with "good" VR will provide a more sex-like experience than practically anything a sexbot could achieve. After all, the specific parts will pretty much just *be* an integrated dildo or fleshlight. Visually, it'll be more fun to use a holodeck/VR headset/whatever to make it seem you're having sex with [insert person of your dreams] than to be looking at the same old doll every time. Yes, the feeling of actually touching a boob or a butt or whatever isn't there...But I haven't touched a single fake that could pass for the real thing yet.


#13

fade

fade

Obligatory:



#14

Charlie Don't Surf

Charlie Don't Surf

idk, I guess I'm a hedonist, but I see no problem with seeking out as much pleasure as humanly possible.

There are things a hand can't do, there are things a mouth can't do, there are things a vagina can't do, there are even things an asshole can't do, but there's NOTHING a robot can't do.


#15

Bubble181

Bubble181

idk, I guess I'm a hedonist, but I see no problem with seeking out as much pleasure as humanly possible.

There are things a hand can't do, there are things a mouth can't do, there are things a vagina can't do, there are even things an asshole can't do, but there's NOTHING a robot can't do.
Love you (back)? be emotionally invested? Procreate (for now)? Fill the void in your heart? Make you feel wanted and appreciated in life?

Admittedly, for most of those, a dog will do, but I'm not convinced the combination "good dog" and "sexbot" will replace everyone's love life.


#16

fade

fade

Love you (back)? be emotionally invested? Procreate (for now)? Fill the void in your heart? Make you feel wanted and appreciated in life?

Admittedly, for most of those, a dog will do, but I'm not convinced the combination "good dog" and "sexbot" will replace everyone's love life.
annoyed-piccard.jpg

Oh come on. Is that like the the biggest punchline setup ever or what?


#17

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

View attachment 20124
Oh come on. Is that like the the biggest punchline setup ever or what?
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. And inside a dog, you're guilty of bestiality.


#18

bhamv3

bhamv3

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. And inside a dog, you're guilty of bestiality.
How'd the book get inside the dog?


#19

Bubble181

Bubble181

View attachment 20124
Oh come on. Is that like the the biggest punchline setup ever or what?
Yes, obviously.

How'd the book get inside the dog?
Miniaturization has come a long way.


#20

drawn_inward

drawn_inward

So, what you're saying is that we all need a bitch and a bot? Or just a bitch?

:hide:


#21

Charlie Don't Surf

Charlie Don't Surf

I just mean physically/chemically/etc, emotions not considered.


#22

Bubble181

Bubble181

I just mean physically/chemically/etc, emotions not considered.
I don't know about you, but I, for one, can tell the difference, physically and chemically, between sex with someone just for fun, or because you love one another.


#23

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

I don't know about you, but I, for one, can tell the difference, physically and chemically, between sex with someone just for fun, or because you love one another.
You two are talking about two completely different things.


#24

GasBandit

GasBandit

Personally, while the concept of an artificially intelligent robot you can have sex with is intriguing, what I really want is a robot who can cook and clean.



#25

drawn_inward

drawn_inward

I don't know about you, but I, for one, can tell the difference, physically and chemically, between sex with someone just for fun, or because you love one another.
Female dog = bitch.

It was a crude joke, mon ami.

But, I agree with your comment. Having sex without real love/connection is just masturbation.[DOUBLEPOST=1452268991,1452268844][/DOUBLEPOST]
Personally, while the concept of an artificially intelligent robot you can have sex with is intriguing, what I really want is a robot who can cook and clean.

You want a woman that will cook and clean and have sex any time you want? I can hear the hoards of feminists at the gate. You're on your own buddy.


#26

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Personally, while the concept of an artificially intelligent robot you can have sex with is intriguing, what I really want is a robot who can cook and clean.
Rosie's got some junk in the trunk. I mean literally, I'm pretty sure that's a storage compartment.


#27

Bubble181

Bubble181

He says he's a hedonist and wants as much pleasure as possible. I'm perfectly fine with that - heck, I'm perfectly A-OK with sex for fun, with anyone and anything you want, as often as you want - and in that sense, sure, a bot can revolutionize masturbation. Doesn't mean sex with an actual person who cares about isn't actually still preferable and more fun. As a good hedonist, if you're looking for the highest possible amount of return, you want an open relationship with plenty of kinky stuff and availability, not a bot.
Saying, in relation to sex, that there's "nothing" a robot can't do, increasing-fun-times-wise, is, to me, false. Which is what I'm saying. I'm not saying he's wrong for wanting a lot of sex, or wanting to have a lot of fun, or for thinking a robot will be a lot of fun.[DOUBLEPOST=1452269319,1452269234][/DOUBLEPOST]
Female dog = bitch.

It was a crude joke, mon ami.
Yes, of course, I was reacting to Charlie, not you.

You don't think I made a post like that without the intent of getting a bunch of bitchy jokes in return, do you? :p


#28

GasBandit

GasBandit

You want a woman that will cook and clean and have sex any time you want? I can hear the hoards of feminists at the gate. You're on your own buddy.
Nah, I just think that if I can get a robot that will do the former, it will make it more possible to find and keep a woman who likes the latter.


#29

Dei

Dei

I would also like a robot to clean my house, because fuck knows I don't do it.


#30

drawn_inward

drawn_inward

I like cooking, but if I could have a cleaning robot that would be super-sweet.[DOUBLEPOST=1452270483,1452270399][/DOUBLEPOST]Cleaning is the worst. If we scrub and clean the kitchen, then we'll be happy until we walk into the disaster of the rest of the house.


#31

Dave

Dave

I'd like one that did dishes and laundry. Our house doesn't have a dishwasher and we have to do them by hand. It SUUUUUUUUCKS!


#32

drawn_inward

drawn_inward

I'd like one that did dishes and laundry. Our house doesn't have a dishwasher and we have to do them by hand. It SUUUUUUUUCKS!
Paper plates?


#33

Bubble181

Bubble181

A trough?


#34

Eriol

Eriol

I'd like one that did dishes and laundry. Our house doesn't have a dishwasher and we have to do them by hand. It SUUUUUUUUCKS!
Did it for 2 years in an apartment that didn't have one. Don't want to repeat that ever again.


#35

PatrThom

PatrThom

I don't for one minute think that this is at all about trying to forge a relationship with an inanimate object. Instead, I see it being used for something like overcoming anxiety - we already have robots that simulate driving, rodeo, etc. for "practice," a sex robot might help a person get over the first-timer will-I-be-able-to-perform anxiety. There are even potential medical benefits. In fact, I'm sure the only reason we don't have full-on sex robots by now is the same reason Pixar or Dreamworks doesn't have a porn division...it's just due to fear of backlash over such a sensitive subject.

Yes, there will be those folks who really are into it for the machine sex. Rule 34, and all that.

--Patrick


#36

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

I'm sure the only reason we don't have full-on sex robots by now is the same reason Pixar or Dreamworks doesn't have a porn division...it's just due to fear of backlash over such a sensitive subject.

--Patrick
There are some really talented 3D animators out there with no such qualms...


#37

Denbrought

Denbrought

For those wanting a human to provide sex, affection, and general convenience, you may want to look into live-in submissives (who usually offer most/all of those). Mutually beneficial relationships are a fantastic thing to have in life.


#38

GasBandit

GasBandit

For those wanting a human to provide sex, affection, and general convenience, you may want to look into live-in submissives (who usually offer most/all of those). Mutually beneficial relationships are a fantastic thing to have in life.
Yeah, but they still have to agree to it. That's such a hassle.


#39

PatrThom

PatrThom

There are some really talented 3D animators out there with no such qualms...
And I've seen some examples. But there's still no dedicated "Pixar: After Dark" division or anything like that. Just the independent folks.

--Patrick


#40

Charlie Don't Surf

Charlie Don't Surf

Yeah, but they still have to agree to it. That's such a hassle.
ew


#41

Denbrought

Denbrought

Some people prefer to obtain enthusiastic consent without having to engage in extensive courting first. It's why play parties and the like exist, you edgelord.



#43

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

It's called rumble and it's been a feature in controllers for many years now.


#44

AshburnerX

AshburnerX

It's called rumble and it's been a feature in controllers for many years now.
I remember Trance having a version that came with a vibrator that pulsed along with the beat. This was an actual PS2 release.



#46

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

The thing costs nearly 7 grand.

Why wouldn't these geeks spend that money on ale and whores?


#47

GasBandit

GasBandit

The thing costs nearly 7 grand.

Why wouldn't these geeks spend that money on ale and whores?
Because even whoring requires a minimal modicum of social interaction, and you can't disgust/terrify a machine.


#48

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Because even whoring requires a minimal modicum of social interaction, and you can't disgust/terrify a machine.
Oh right. That.


#49

GasBandit

GasBandit

Oh right. That.
I tell you, the more time goes by, the more I think about it, the more a sexbot seems a sound investment. Can't get it pregnant, no baggage, no diseases, no in-laws, no vengeful exes, cheating isn't an issue, the above reasons, etc.


#50

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

I'm sitting here giggling thinking about how weird lag would be.


#51

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

I'm sitting here giggling thinking about how weird lag would be.
"Oh, COME ON!! I was ALMOST there!!"


#52

PatrThom

PatrThom

Love at first 'bot
More people taking the subject seriously.

--Patrick


#53

AshburnerX

AshburnerX



#54

fade

fade

That was really weird.


#55

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

There are sex bots that can whip you? I may have to look into this... for research purposes, of course.


#56

GasBandit

GasBandit

There are sex bots that can whip you? I may have to look into this... for research purposes, of course.
Hey man, you wanna buy a stationary bike?



#57

PatrThom

PatrThom

Tonight, the gloves are coming...on?

--Patrick


#58

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Or coming on the gloves?


#59

ThatGrinningIdiot!

ThatGrinningIdiot!

When sexbots become a reality someday - I wonder if celebrities, pornstars, and prostitutes will be able to copyright replicated models of themselves?


#60

Denbrought

Denbrought

When sexbots become a reality someday - I wonder if celebrities, pornstars, and prostitutes will be able to copyright replicated models of themselves?
You may be interested in Futurama Season 3 Ep 15 (I Dated a Robot), which explores Lucy Liu's struggle with this very same issue.


#61

GasBandit

GasBandit

Actually, any product that bears someone's likeness (be it a poster, an action figure or a sex bot) would already be applicable to existing copyright law. Indeed, some porn starlets have already licensed pocket pussies to be made that supposedly replicate the appearance of their own real vagina.


#62

AshburnerX

AshburnerX

When sexbots become a reality someday - I wonder if celebrities, pornstars, and prostitutes will be able to copyright replicated models of themselves?
Probably, but it'll be pirated anyway. I suppose THAT is the real issue with this sort of thing: what's to keep someone from making a sexbot of an ex to ether keep for themselves or to use as a way to make incriminating pictures or something. Because really, once you can make a perfect copy of someone physically, we're going to need to rely on some other sort of identification to confirm identities. Otherwise you'd have people using these things to frame people for crimes or such.


#63

PatrThom

PatrThom

Probably, but it'll be pirated anyway.
Gives a new meaning to "Thingverse."
When sexbots become a reality someday - I wonder if celebrities, pornstars, and prostitutes will be able to copyright replicated models of themselves?
Not only are there already licensed "reproductions" of famous parts, but you can also buy kits to image yourself for that special someone (to leave behind before a lengthy trip, perhaps), so they need never go without your personal touch.

--Patrick


#64

fade

fade

Probably, but it'll be pirated anyway.
Ha. Pirate booty.


#65



Anonymous

Been divorced 3 times. Have trouble finding a women that isn't high maintance. And most women I met don't cook or clean very good. And far as the companionship it's all about me myself I type of women out there. Oh it's not to bad the first few months. But when the newness wares off then comes their true colors. Being in high volume sales I've met a lot of men who fell the same way I do about women. I will be the first man in line to buy a sexbot just as soon as they can cook,clean,run,and play tennis. For what Ive seen on the internet they will have the AI work good in about 1 more year. Their skin looks amazing. I hope to see myself in about 3 to 4 years maybe if I'm luck enough having a android sexbot giving me a full body massage about an hour after eatting a 5 star dinner that she cooked.


#66

Charlie Don't Surf

Charlie Don't Surf

Been divorced 3 times. Have trouble finding a women that isn't high maintance. And most women I met don't cook or clean very good. And far as the companionship it's all about me myself I type of women out there. Oh it's not to bad the first few months. But when the newness wares off then comes their true colors. Being in high volume sales I've met a lot of men who fell the same way I do about women. I will be the first man in line to buy a sexbot just as soon as they can cook,clean,run,and play tennis. For what Ive seen on the internet they will have the AI work good in about 1 more year. Their skin looks amazing. I hope to see myself in about 3 to 4 years maybe if I'm luck enough having a android sexbot giving me a full body massage about an hour after eatting a 5 star dinner that she cooked.
WE NEED TO HANG THIS POST IN THE LOUVRE


#67

Dave

Dave

I'd respond, but I'm not certain how.


#68

Denbrought

Denbrought

Sounds to me like this hypothetical product could've potentially saved at least 4 people from unhappy marriages, then :p


#69

GasBandit

GasBandit

I am not sure I would want a sexbot that cooks and cleans and massages. It's like they always say, the more an appliance does, the more there is to break and the more you're out when it does so. I mean, I wouldn't want to buy a microwave that has a vagina attachment.

Or to be less vulgar about it, consider the combo DVD/VCRs of yesteryear. When one or the other part of it breaks, you're out the remaining part too.


#70

Denbrought

Denbrought

I am not sure I would want a sexbot that cooks and cleans and massages. It's like they always say, the more an appliance does, the more there is to break and the more you're out when it does so. I mean, I wouldn't want to buy a microwave that has a vagina attachment.

Or to be less vulgar about it, consider the combo DVD/VCRs of yesteryear. When one or the other part of it breaks, you're out the remaining part too.
So what you're saying is that you want a harem-cum-maid-team of highly specialized single-purpose anthropomorphic appliances?


#71

Dave

Dave

Don't say "cum".


#72

GasBandit

GasBandit

So what you're saying is that you want a harem-cum-maid-team of highly specialized single-purpose anthropomorphic appliances?
You know, I think there'd be an anime series in that.


#73

Denbrought

Denbrought

Don't say "cum".


You know, I think there'd be an anime series in that.
Guess we're ahead of Japan for once? Maybe you should make that your next project, after Halforums Academy 2 is complete :p


#74

Bubble181

Bubble181

So what you're saying is that you want a harem-cum-maid-team of highly specialized single-purpose anthropomorphic appliances?
I dunno, the maid and cook part doesn't have to be anthropomorphized for me.


#75

Cajungal

Cajungal

Why not just make a Roomba or a microwave with a fuck- hole drilled in somewhere? Then just buy a wig. Much cheaper.


#76

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

There must be a thousand reasons why not, although all that my mind can come up with is "No"


#77

GasBandit

GasBandit

Why not just make a Roomba ... with a fuck- hole drilled in somewhere?
Roombas are wily little shits. If I wanted to have to chase my 'tang down across the house, I might as well get an actual woman. It's about convenience!


#78

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Roombas are wily little shits.
Okay, a thousand and one reasons.


#79

PatrThom

PatrThom

I'd respond, but I'm not certain how.
Anonymously.
You know, I think there'd be an anime series in that.
We already have one about Windows operating systems, so why not?

--Patrick


#80

Cajungal

Cajungal

Roombas are wily little shits. If I wanted to have to chase my 'tang down across the house, I might as well get an actual woman. It's about convenience!
I thought men loved the thrill of the chase.


#81

figmentPez

figmentPez



#82

GasBandit

GasBandit

I thought men loved the thrill of the chase.
Yeah, hollywood will tell you that. But it'll also tell you that persistence always gets the girl. Always. NEVER STOP. EVER. PERSISTENCE. ALWAYS. GETS. THE GIRL. So keep bothering her until she finally falls in love with you!


#83

PatrThom

PatrThom

keep bothering her until she finally falls in love with you!
say-anything-meme.jpg

Thanks, Hollywood!

--Patrick


#84

GasBandit

GasBandit

Well, so far, the first half of the "Year of the Sex Robot" has been a raging disappointment.


#85

PatrThom

PatrThom

Well, so far, the first half of the "Year of the Sex Robot" has been a raging disappointment.
"raging"

--Patrick


#86

Null

Null

I tell you, the more time goes by, the more I think about it, the more a sexbot seems a sound investment. Can't get it pregnant, no baggage, no diseases, no in-laws, no vengeful exes, cheating isn't an issue, the above reasons, etc.
Well then what's the point? :p


#87

Denbrought

Denbrought

VR does show some promise, as demonstrated by meidocafe today.



#88

Null

Null

There are no words.


#89

PatrThom

PatrThom

There are no words.
Nope.
Just a lot of cries and grunting.

--Patrick


#90

GasBandit

GasBandit



Wow, this is some pathetic shit, japan. where would someone even buy this crap and for how much? i mean, is delivery even included? come on!


#91

Null

Null

I can only imagine that for the cost, you could hire at least a few prostitutes.


#92

Denbrought

Denbrought

I can only imagine that for the cost, you could hire at least a few prostitutes.
Why do you perverts insist on bringing meatspacers into people's 2D laifu?


#93

GasBandit

GasBandit

"There's no 2D waifus that would ever let me down!" - Ronan M, Halforums Academy 2


#94

Null

Null

"There's no 2D waifus that would ever let me down!" - Ronan M, Halforums Academy 2
Thus the difference between anime and reality.


#95

GasBandit

GasBandit

Thus the difference between anime and reality.
There are multiple interpretations to this sentence. :D


#96

Null

Null

Ambiguity succeeds where honesty dares not tread.


#97

GasBandit

GasBandit



AAAAAAAAAA!


#98

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe



AAAAAAAAAA!
Ok, who forgot to pen their dickbot?


#99

fade

fade



AAAAAAAAAA!
For all the ladies out there...


#100

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

For all the ladies out there...
But only 3 at a time. So for all the ladies out there that don't mind waiting in line.


#101

GasBandit

GasBandit

But only 3 at a time. So for all the ladies out there that don't mind waiting in line.
Or one REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC lady.


#102

Dei

Dei

Replace at least one dick with a mouth, and then I'll be impressed.


#103

GasBandit

GasBandit

Replace at least one dick with a mouth, and then I'll be impressed.
3 holes, 3 dicks. Requirements met.


#104

PatrThom

PatrThom

Replace at least one dick with a mouth, and then I'll be impressed.
Why not all three?

--Patrick


#105

Null

Null



AAAAAAAAAA!
"In other news, Neill Blomkamp surprisingly made his adult film directorial debut..."


#106

PatrThom

PatrThom

"Boston Dynamics unveiled their newest model today..."
"...eeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEeee...."

--Patrick


#107

GasBandit

GasBandit

And 2016 winds to a close, potential squandered, our dreams unrealized.

... or are they...



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4060440/Woman-reveals-love-ROBOT-wants-marry-it.html


#108

Terrik

Terrik

This is what started the Omnic war in Overwatch.


#109

GasBandit

GasBandit

This is what started the Omnic war in Overwatch.


#110

Null

Null

The "Steely Dan" puns seem too obvious.


#111

Bubble181

Bubble181

No better or worse than your average waifu body pillow. But I hope marriage will only be granted if and when it can be conclusively proven a robot can grant consent - that's the bar we set for all other variations of marriage, after all.


#112

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

consent - that's the bar we set for all other variations of marriage, after all.
I guess you've never heard of a shotgun wedding.


#113

Null

Null

I guess you've never heard of a shotgun wedding.
Or arranged marriages, or child marriages...


#114

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Aye, but I was going for the joke.

(I also wanted to cut off Bubble from being able to counter that he meant modern Western culture)


#115

Denbrought

Denbrought

Or arranged marriages, or child marriages...
All right, we got white marriage, black marriage, spanish marriage, yellow marriage, we got hot marriage, cold marriage, we got wet marriage, we got smelly marriage, we got hairy marriage, bloody marriage, we got snappin’ marriage, we got silk marriage, velvet marriage, naugahyde marriage, we even got horse marriage, dog marriage, chicken marriage!


#116

GasBandit

GasBandit

All right, we got white marriage, black marriage, spanish marriage, yellow marriage, we got hot marriage, cold marriage, we got wet marriage, we got smelly marriage, we got hairy marriage, bloody marriage, we got snappin’ marriage, we got silk marriage, velvet marriage, naugahyde marriage, we even got horse marriage, dog marriage, chicken marriage!
If you can find a cheaper marriage anywhere else... Marry it!


#117

GasBandit

GasBandit

Meanwhile, research continues, and advances continue to be made.



#118

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

No, I have not wondered that...


#119

fade

fade

That's mesmerizing. They've discovered the harmonic frequency of the human dick.


#120

PatrThom

PatrThom

Latex is latex, right?

--Patrick



#122

bhamv3

bhamv3

If I can adapt to the idea of competing against a machine for my livelihood, then I think the prostitutes of Barcelona should be able to too.


#123

Null

Null

They weren't even robots, they were RealDolls. Basically it was a brothel for squeamish necrophiliacs.


#124

GasBandit

GasBandit

MEANWHILE, IN CHINA



Ok, it's from 2014, but yes, it's exactly what you think it is.

https://www.themarysue.com/sperm-extractor/


#125

PatrThom

PatrThom

Not even the first time it's been on the forum, either.
I'll let you guess where.

--Patrick


#126

fade

fade

Wonder if the Jawas carry a selection of sexbots. We don't really see androids in the movies so it would probably look something like that. "Look uh, Mr. Jawa--it can get awfully lonely out here on the moisture farm, if'n you catch my meaning" "Yes sir, this way, sir. Meet 69-DD"


#127

GasBandit

GasBandit

Wonder if the Jawas carry a selection of sexbots. We don't really see androids in the movies so it would probably look something like that. "Look uh, Mr. Jawa--it can get awfully lonely out here on the moisture farm, if'n you catch my meaning" "Yes sir, this way, sir. Meet 69-DD"
You know, I always thought fleshlights kinda looked like lightsaber hilts.


#128

bhamv3

bhamv3

You know, I always thought fleshlights kinda looked like lightsaber hilts.
Oh god... I just got a mental image of someone mistaking a lightsaber hilt for a fleshlight, and... uh...


#129



BErt

Oh god... I just got a mental image of someone mistaking a lightsaber hilt for a fleshlight, and... uh...
...This was your father's fleshlight...


#130

Terrik

Terrik

MEANWHILE, IN CHINA



Ok, it's from 2014, but yes, it's exactly what you think it is.

https://www.themarysue.com/sperm-extractor/

Oh no, I left China too soon! Now how will my semen be extracted?


#131

bhamv3

bhamv3

Oh no, I left China too soon! Now how will my semen be extracted?
With a lightsaber, of course.


#132

PatrThom

PatrThom

Oh no, I left China too soon! Now how will my semen be extracted?
You'll have to do it yourself. Manually.

--Patrick


#133

Tress

Tress

You'll have to do it yourself. Manually.

--Patrick
I'm sure his wife can help too.


#134

Null

Null

I'm sure his wife can help too.
Thus illustrating the difference between "can" and "will".


#135

GasBandit

GasBandit



#136

fade

fade

So, uh, how do they quality control that stuff?

Remember the old Hanes underwear commercial with the "Inspected by number 12" guy? Do these come with a little slip of paper that says, "Fucked by number 12"?


#137

GasBandit

GasBandit

So, uh, how do they quality control that stuff?

Remember the old Hanes underwear commercial with the "Inspected by number 12" guy? Do these come with a little slip of paper that says, "Fucked by number 12"?
Well, I mean, it's not like inspector number twelve PUT ON the underwear before stamping it.


#138

Dei

Dei

Well, I mean, it's not like inspector number twelve PUT ON the underwear before stamping it.
But are you SURE?!


#139

GasBandit

GasBandit

But are you SURE?!
Well, I mean, only as sure as I am about the other light being red when my light is green. I don't know it for a FACT, but I feel pretty confident.


#140

PatrThom

PatrThom

That reminds me. I meant to mention to @Gas about the cover of Smithsonian Magazine's June 2017 issue:

175012530_smithsonian-magazine-june-2017-1.jpg

This suggests a completely different movie scene:
"I want to say one word to you...just one word:"
". . . . 'fuckbots.'"

--Patrick
(no BTW I have not yet seen The Graduate)



#142

PatrThom

PatrThom

That's ... disappointing.

--Patrick


#143

Tress

Tress

That's ... disgusting.

--Patrick
FTFY


#144

Dave

Dave



#145

PatrThom

PatrThom

In Soviet Russia, pole dancers watch you!

--Patrick


#146

MindDetective

MindDetective

I think I posted that in the gif thread a while back.


#147

Dave

Dave

I wasn't going back through 5 pages to check. It's possible it was already there. :)


#148

GasBandit

GasBandit



#149

AshburnerX

AshburnerX

The look on his face says it all. "I don't think I wanna risk it."


#150

GasBandit

GasBandit

The look on his face says it all. "I don't think I wanna risk it."


#151

PatrThom

PatrThom

I don't know as I'd feel comfortable sticking my dick into something that looks like a silicone sea lamprey.

458122353_afa0740307.jpg


--Patrick


#152

Bubble181

Bubble181

I admit to liking the Portal turrets, but this level of fandom is well beyond me.


#153

Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler

most recent Oglaf is relevant



#154

PatrThom

PatrThom

most recent Oglaf is relevant
...from the opposite PIV POV.

--Patrick


#155

GasBandit

GasBandit



It's at Breitbart.


#156

Dei

Dei

So how many single women are already digisexuals? :p


#157

PatrThom

PatrThom

So how many single women are already digisexuals? :p
Depends on if you include usage like “digit.”

—Patrick


#158

Dei

Dei

Depends on if you include usage like “digit.”

—Patrick
I was not referring to hands.


#159

GasBandit

GasBandit

So how many single women are already digisexuals? :p


#160

Null

Null



#161

bhamv3

bhamv3

Ooh! My back massager!


#162

PatrThom

PatrThom

I was not referring to hands.
I was attempting to define the boundaries.
...like whether we are also including things like Chatroulette, Girlfriend Simulator 2017, etc.

--Patrick


#163

GasBandit

GasBandit

I was attempting to define the boundaries.
You were doing the thing.


#164

Bubble181

Bubble181

You were doing the thing.
This whole thread is about doing it with things.


#165

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

"Digisexuals" just sounds to me like professorspeak for "masturbaters."


#166

GasBandit

GasBandit

"Digisexuals"
Ohhhhh Mimi!



#167

Null

Null

Isn't that the shy girl from Persona 3?


#168

fade

fade

Every time you guys say "digisexual", I hear the Digimon theme song. With a porn music track laid over it.


#169

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Every time you guys say "digisexual", I hear the Digimon theme song. With a porn music track laid over it.
Yeah. How can we have digisexuals when there've been no pokesexuals to copy?

And now that transexuals have become so popular, why aren't there any gobotsexuals?


#170

Bubble181

Bubble181

Yeah. How can we have digisexuals when there've been no pokesexuals to copy?

And now that transexuals have become so popular, why aren't there any gobotsexuals?
If you think there are no Pokésexuals, you really haven't been around the internet long enough.


#171

GasBandit

GasBandit

Yeah. How can we have digisexuals when there've been no pokesexuals to copy?

And now that transexuals have become so popular, why aren't there any gobotsexuals?
Because this is what a female gobot looks like


Crasher (Hello Tim Curry in a lampshade)


Vamp (What in the hell?)


Smallfoot (It's time for androgeny! It's Smallfoot!)


#172

PatrThom

PatrThom

We need a degree of deviancy scale now. One that starts out with Transformers, then goes through GoBots and Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch, and then ends up at Turbo Teen (either version).

—Patrick


#173

Dave

Dave

Maybe not sex robot, but how about VR sex? Totally safe and anonymous.

https://www.digitaltrends.com/virtual-reality/teslasuit-full-body-haptic-feedback/


#174

mikerc

mikerc

Maybe not sex robot, but how about VR sex? Totally safe and anonymous.

https://www.digitaltrends.com/virtual-reality/teslasuit-full-body-haptic-feedback/
Just remember to clean your suit after use. Please.


#175

GasBandit

GasBandit



#176

PatrThom

PatrThom

I wonder sometimes what would happen if they set up an ostensibly “intelligent” robot that really just had a remote actress as the “brains” of it. Would the user still treat it like crap if its reactions were more believable*?

—Patrick
*ANS: Probably yes.


#177

fade

fade

My favorite comment on the one with the curvy sex doll is "Women, y'all cancelled for the rest of the season".


#178

Dei

Dei

I wonder sometimes what would happen if they set up an ostensibly “intelligent” robot that really just had a remote actress as the “brains” of it. Would the user still treat it like crap if its reactions were more believable*?

—Patrick
*ANS: Probably yes.
I mean, plenty of real women are already treated like crap soooo


#179

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

My favorite comment on the one with the curvy sex doll is "Women, y'all cancelled for the rest of the season".
Curvy bot you say?

*clicks to see*

...



#180

Dei

Dei

I was reading a few articles about male sex robots, but I forgot to link them when I was done. But I know the same people who made that savaged female one are coming out with a male version.


#181

GasBandit

GasBandit

I wonder sometimes what would happen if they set up an ostensibly “intelligent” robot that really just had a remote actress as the “brains” of it. Would the user still treat it like crap if its reactions were more believable*?

—Patrick
*ANS: Probably yes.
Definitely yes. In some cases, some guys would probably get off on being able to abuse something that reacted believably, consequence-free. People are, in general, shit.


#182

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

I wonder sometimes what would happen if they set up an ostensibly “intelligent” robot that really just had a remote actress as the “brains” of it. Would the user still treat it like crap if its reactions were more believable*?

—Patrick
*ANS: Probably yes.
That poor actress.


#183

fade

fade

I don't even understand all the ass-slapping in porn videos. That my friend watches. And tells me about. Wait. That's even weirder than just confessing to it.


#184

Dei

Dei

For the most part, I can't take visual porn seriously. Most of it just makes me laugh.


#185

PatrThom

PatrThom

I don't even understand all the ass-slapping in porn videos.
There are plenty of times I don’t even understand the so-called sex in porn videos.

—Patrick


#186

GasBandit

GasBandit

You guys are watching the wrong porn.

Also all of you ARE robots.

That aside, yes, there is an IMMENSE amount of really bad, humdrum, uninspiring porn out there. The signal to noise ratio is horrific.


#187

PatrThom

PatrThom

You guys are watching the wrong porn.
Are we? Are we really?

—Patrick


#188

GasBandit

GasBandit

Are we? Are we really?

—Patrick
Yes. The ratio of bad porn to good porn is even less favorable than than the ratio of insects to nuclear aircraft carriers.


#189

Dei

Dei

Yes. The ratio of bad porn to good porn is even less favorable than than the ratio of insects to nuclear aircraft carriers.
I think sex looks ridiculous, and porn just makes it look more ridiculous.


#190

bhamv3

bhamv3

Screw y'all. Porn is awesome.


#191

fade

fade

I don't have any problem with porn...it's just that some common themes are stupid. Like ass-slapping and choking. It doesn't do a thing for me, and it seems rather hateful to the woman.


#192

Dave

Dave

And everything these days is incest. Which to me is just weird.


#193

GasBandit

GasBandit

And everything these days is incest. Which to me is just weird.
We're just catching up to where the Japanese were 20 years ago.


#194

Dave

Dave

So you're saying in a short decade we're going to be inundated with tentacle rape? Lovely.


#195

Celt Z

Celt Z

I don't have any problem with porn...it's just that some common themes are stupid. Like ass-slapping and choking. It doesn't do a thing for me, and it seems rather hateful to the woman.
There seems to be a lot of tropes in porn (and hentai) like these, facials, etc., that seem more like degrading their partner, especially women. I like my porn and sex where both individuals seem to be enjoying it as equals.

Not to say people can't get off to fetishes involving role play and D/S, but these seem like random things thrown into general sex to degrade rather than part of the over-all people atmosphere.


#196

Null

Null

And everything these days is incest. Which to me is just weird.
I'm guessing it's the latest taboo. Like it used to be anal, or facials, or choking, or throat-fucking.

That, or it's just lazy writing. "Okay, so we've got an older actress and a guy who's gonna be POV so we're not really gonna see him, but he's younger, and they live in the same house because we can only afford to shoot in the one apartment we rented. What's the story there?" "Mom or aunt?" "Sure, why not?"


#197

GasBandit

GasBandit

Seems like I've stumbled on a good topic for another post to the House of Reprehensible Filth...

[DOUBLEPOST=1516378720,1516378629][/DOUBLEPOST]
There seems to be a lot of tropes in porn (and hentai) like these, facials, etc., that seem more like degrading their partner
Hell, I'm just glad Hentai moved away from where it was in the early 90s, when as often as not, the female ended up getting literally torn to shreds by the tentacle demon. Kind of a boner killer.


#198

PatrThom

PatrThom

Her left arm has that Angeline Jolie "Wanted" look about it.

--Patrick


#199

GasBandit

GasBandit



#200

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

When they say users will be able to "plug it in" . . . ?


#201

Celt Z

Celt Z

"Unstoppable bionic penis" sounds more like a threat than a feature.


#202

GasBandit

GasBandit

"Unstoppable bionic penis" sounds more like a threat than a feature.
It also sounds like a damn good porno.


#203

Dei

Dei

"Unstoppable bionic penis" sounds more like a threat than a feature.
Sounds painful.


#204

PatrThom

PatrThom

"Unstoppable bionic penis" sounds more like a threat than a feature.
I've read that story.
It didn't end well for the woman.
To explain, the guy was feeling inadequate and so had adjusted his bionics to be well beyond human limits, but then got carried away.

--Patrick


#205

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

The penises have become sentient!


My god... The whole world is fucked


#206

GasBandit

GasBandit



#207

GasBandit

GasBandit













#208

fade

fade



#209

GasBandit

GasBandit

Not bots, perhaps, but still semi relevant? You get what you pay for.



#210

Dave

Dave

Those are all...disturbing.


#211

Null

Null



#212

fade

fade

After all that, I'm still not sure which one to buy.


#213

PatrThom

PatrThom

Those are all...disturbing.
That’s just because you lack faith.

—Patrick


#214



Anonymous

And everything these days is incest. Which to me is just weird.
Oh, sure, when *I* said it two years ago, it was all "must be based on your preferences" and "it's just you", but now it's true and real?

Pfeh!


#215

Bubble181

Bubble181

Anon was in error, that was me.


#216



Anonymous

Anon was in error, that was me.
Nobody posts to anon in error, it must be based on your preferences.


#217

Denbrought

Denbrought

How weird, that posted to Anon.


#218



Anonymous

#halforumschan


#219

GasBandit

GasBandit



#220

figmentPez

figmentPez



#221

PatrThom

PatrThom

She's a slow starter, but once you get her going, baby, she's a firework!

--Patrick


#222

GasBandit

GasBandit

She's a slow starter, but once you get her going, baby, she's a firework!

--Patrick
*Firecrotch


#223

GasBandit

GasBandit





#224

GasBandit

GasBandit



#225

PatrThom

PatrThom

From 486DX2/33 to 48DD-22-36 in just 25 years.

—Patrick
(Yes I know there was no such thing as a dx2/33, but then the numbers wouldn’t work as well)


#226

PatrThom

PatrThom

Much like everything else these days, beware exaggerated health claims!
Sex robots with health benefits are a giant tease, experts warn
Skeptics fear the desirable droids could escalate misogyny and violence against women, ignite deviant urges in pedophiles, or further isolate the sexually frustrated. Sexbot makers, on the other hand, have been pumping their health claims into advertisements, including that the amorous androids could reduce the spread of sexually transmitted disease, aid in sex therapies, and curb deviant desires in pedophiles and other sex offenders.
[...]
Sex technology is already an estimated $30 billion industry, they note. At least four companies are now making adult female sexbots, costing $5,000 to $50,000, and at least one is making “pedobots.” The mannequins come with variable ages, features, and even programmable personalities, along with customizable oral, vaginal, and anal openings. Male sexbots are said to be in the works.
[...]
In all, the researchers conclude that until there’s more data to back up health claims, doctors should rely on the "precautionary principle," rejecting clinical use of sexbots until there’s hard data.
--Patrick


#227

figmentPez

figmentPez

Much like everything else these days, beware exaggerated health claims!
Sex robots with health benefits are a giant tease, experts warn
Damn, you beat me to posting.


#228

PatrThom

PatrThom

Fair warning, as Kati discovered when she read it, the author makes several deliberate word choices that leave it feeling ... less scholarly.

—Patrick


#229

GasBandit

GasBandit

Fair warning, as Kati discovered when she read it, the author makes several deliberate word choices that leave it feeling ... less scholarly.

—Patrick
"Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten?"


#230

PatrThom

PatrThom

"Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten?"
Calm down there, Mr. Meredith.

—Patrick


#231

GasBandit

GasBandit

Calm down there, Mr. Meredith.

—Patrick
Pressure wash the quiver bone in the ham wallet.


#232

Celt Z

Celt Z

Pressure wash the quiver bone in the ham wallet.
:eww:

I think you're doing it wrong. Or there is something terribly wrong with the ham you've been exposed to.


#233

GasBandit

GasBandit

:eww:

I think you're doing it wrong. Or there is something terribly wrong with the ham you've been exposed to.
Batter-dip the cranny axe in the gut locker!
Retrofit the pudding hatch with the boink swatter!
Cannonball the fiddle cove with the pork steeple!
Power-drill the yippee-bog with the dude piston!
Vulcanize the whoopee-stick in the gum wrinkle!
Uh... erm.... put the... uh... you know what... in the you know where...? I ran outta gas.


#234

Null

Null

If I get you in the loop when
I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so hypothetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush


#235

drifter

drifter

Oscillate the wonder bar in the cream tureen


#236

GasBandit

GasBandit

If I get you in the loop when
I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so hypothetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
FOXTROT.
UNIFORM.
CHARLIE.
KILO.


#237

Null

Null

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket


#238

Dave

Dave



#239

PatrThom

PatrThom

I haven’t seen the movie, but I remember that blooper reel.
He’s like the R. Lee. Ermey of ribaldry.

—Patrick


#240

Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler

My favorite one from that reel (which wasn't on the vid for some reason): "Look's like Chuck's taking Willie One-Eye to the optometrist!"


#241

PatrThom

PatrThom

Whitney Cummings—and her sex robot—take on modern womanhood
(Yes, Whitney Cummings did have a sex robot made in her likeness for the laughs)
Women worry about being replaced by sex robots, but still have to be afraid while walking to their cars, clutching keys between their fingers like "a shitty Wolverine." These are the days of future/past. So, naturally, Cummings shares the stage with an ultra-modern version of one of the most outdated comedy props imaginable, the ventriloquist dummy: a laughing, talking sex robot that looks just like her.
--Patrick


#242

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

It's 2019 now, where's my sexbot?


#243

Dave

Dave

Whitney Cummings made a sex robot that looks like her? :rofl:

I wonder how much something like that would cost.


#244

PatrThom

PatrThom

Whitney Cummings made a sex robot that looks like her? :rofl:

I wonder how much something like that would cost.
I suppose you'll have to watch the mentioned Netflix special and see if she reveals the price.

--Patrick


#245

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Whitney Cummings made a sex robot that looks like her? :rofl:

I wonder how much something like that would cost.
The special has already been recorded so she might be willing to sell it


#246

PatrThom

PatrThom

The special has already been recorded so she might be willing to sell it
Now wouldn't that be an unusual GoFundMe.

--Patrick


#247

bhamv3

bhamv3

So I was chatting today with a friend of mine about a mutual female friend of ours, who'd recently gotten married. Our female friend's husband is okay, certainly not a terrible guy, but we both felt that she could've done better, because our female friend is amazing. I commented, "She deserves to be with a guy who's tall, handsome, rich, caring, and great in bed, basically the perfect guy in every way." And my friend said, "You kinda make it sound like she should be with a robot."

And for some reason I started thinking of companies like Boston Dynamics. Those robots can now walk, run, and climb in a very human-like manner, with realistic gaits and movements. Would it be that different to create a robot that can writhe, hump, and wriggle in a human-like fashion? How far are we from making a robot that's good in bed?


#248

PatrThom

PatrThom

for some reason I started thinking of companies like Boston Dynamics. Those robots can now walk, run, and climb in a very human-like manner, with realistic gaits and movements. Would it be that different to create a robot that can writhe, hump, and wriggle in a human-like fashion? How far are we from making a robot that's good in bed?
You may be onto something. Everyone always thinks the sex robot will mean the demise of civilization because a man won't want to have sex with a dumpy ol' human woman when there's a perfect silicone succubus waiting at home, but nobody talks about how it may happen because it's women who may decide to seek their satisfaction in the arms of a turbo lover.

--Patrick


#249

GasBandit

GasBandit

Mojo Nixon sang about that decades ago.


#250

GasBandit

GasBandit

We're almost a decade behind schedule, but progress is still being made.



A lawmaker Lee Yong-ju, who brought a sex doll, speaks during a parliamentary inspection at the National Assembly in Seoul, South Korea, on Oct. 18, 2019. South Korea has formally ended a ban on the import of full-body sex dolls, ending years of debate over how much the government can interfere in private life. Although there are no laws or regulations banning the import of sex dolls, hundreds and perhaps thousands have been seized by the customs, which cited a clause in the law that bans the import of goods that “harm the country’s beautiful traditions and public moral." (Lee Jong-chul/Newsis via AP)

https://apnews.com/article/south-korea-ends-sex-doll-ban-4930feda6e214b7f8631733c015a2052


#251

PatrThom

PatrThom

a clause in the law that bans the import of goods that “harm the country’s beautiful traditions and public moral."
Wow. That’s … vague.

—Patrick


#252

Dave

Dave

I mean, it's almost 2023 and I don't have a flying car OR a sex robot.

The future sucks.


#253

GasBandit

GasBandit

I mean, it's almost 2023 and I don't have a flying car OR a sex robot.

The future sucks.
2016 brought progress to a standstill on ALL kinds of fronts.


#254

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

I mean, it's almost 2023 and I don't have a flying car OR a sex robot.

The future sucks.
Best I can offer is a handjob from Bumblebee


#255

bhamv3

bhamv3

Best I can offer is a handjob from Bumblebee
I'll take it. I can trust Bumblebee to be gentle. Most other Transformers will probably rip my dick off, either accidentally or deliberately.


#256

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Best I can offer is a handjob from Bumblebee
*slams a giant stack of cash in the table*

Fucking SOLD. Finally, my biggest fetish can come true.

Er, I mean, what? Who said that? Not me! Sickos.


#257

chris

chris

IMG_20221230_063249.png


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