So managed to switch with someone to get the date off, killed it on the test (imo). Boss got mad at me for switching and said that he was only going to give me one week of vacation since I did that. I told him that he could do what he needed to do and I would do what I needed to do. The next day he changed his mind. Can't wait till I get in the nursing program and say "peace out" to this job. 5-6 more months!I'm so fucking pissed right now. Registered for a test at my local CC (TEAS Test, $65 to take it) so I can try and get into the nursing program. I studied my butt off, get there today to take the test (after I took my last vacation yesterday because I was on nights and I wanted to be refreshed for the test). Get o the college and... the TEAS system has a systemwide maintenance from yesterday until tomorrow I can't take the test. The two testing dates the school had was today (that I had to take vacation for) and on the 25th, which I work on that day and would have to take vacation for but I can't because I'm out of vacation (going to Europe in July). So now I have to go talking to the person on Monday about seeing if there is ANYTHING they can do to help me out. Everything is out of my hands right now, I was stressed about the test and now I can't take the test and now I'm stressed about now being able to make it to the next date, if I even CAN make it to that day I'll have to try and find someone to switch schedules with me which means I'd be working nights on that day and not get any sleep. I'm mad, I'm anxious, I... just don't know but needed to vent. Way to waste my morning
I'm sorry you had to witness that heartlessness. Please know that this is a failure of the person who visited, not the person who was suffering, and they (and you) don't deserve indifference, pity, or anger.When I was hospitalized in 2000, I remember a much older man. Whoever cane to visit him looked less supportive and more "Not this shit again."
Holy shit this is beautiful.I'm sorry you had to witness that heartlessness. Please know that this is a failure of the person who visited, not the person who was suffering, and they (and you) don't deserve indifference, pity, or anger.
I'm glad you're still alive, and here. I think about you and hope you are well, though we don't interact at all these days.
I'm going to write a stupid long post and I may say all the wrong things. I hope not, but there's a risk to opening my mouth and I hope you find this useful. If not, please dispose in the nearest internet bit recycling bucket, and don't spend time on things that don't help you.
As far as your successes and failures, don't listen to your brain. It's lying to you. It's a lying liar who lies when it's out of balance. All the things you've listed as failures are not black and white, success or failure activities - there's a continuum.
You succeeded at SO MANY ASPECTS of writing to have gotten to the point where you have two published books. Your journey and what you've accomplished along the way outnumbers and outweighs whatever's blocking you right now. 90% of writers NEVER get to the point where you've gone TWICE. Your brain may be lying to you again, putting a lot of, "but it wasn't actually..." or trying in some way to demean your significant accomplishment. Don't listen to those thoughts, your brain is a lying liar who lies if it's saying things like that. You are in the 10% who published, and the even smaller percentage who published more than once.
You succeeded at yoga. You succeeded so hard, and got in better shape than you had been in a long time. You went through so much and succeeded in poses most people couldn't hold for more than an instant. You succeeded in poses even regular yoga practitioners have a hard time completing. You can still do most of those poses right now and do things with your body that are hard. That only happened because of all the successes you had along the way. Just because you weren't able to teach doesn't invalidate all the successes you did score, and certainly doesn't outweigh them - yoga is first and foremost an inward turning and self-improvement, and you did that. You did that. You can still do that. Perhaps your brain is talking to you again, and emphasizing the things you didn't succeed at. Don't trust it, it's biased in all the wrong ways today. Your body is good, and can do amazing things because you have worked hard over many years on it.
Maybe tomorrow your brain will be better at building you up rather than tearing you down, but for now shut it up and focus on things that will build you up.
I don't know much about your wrestling. I recall some of your early stories and passion, but don't remember the details. Knowing you, however, I'm certain you gave your all and had many, many successes, and that it brought challenges and joys to you that have benefited you throughout your life.
I tend to think of video games and comics as entertainment - acts of consumption - but from your consideration series, writing, and other creative endeavors I believe that for you they are catalysts. You are a creative spirit. Your desire - need, I suspect - to create is innate and powerful. Your use of games, comics, and other media aren't wastes of time and energy, but opportunities - springboards and amplifiers for your creative energy. Perhaps your hands and mind gets itchy while you entertain yourself, your fingers craving a way to put thoughts into words. I don't know if you have any warning when you're about to get into a funk, but I suspect that if you do, and if when you do you grab the first book, comic, or video game that is at hand, even if you've read/played/experienced it a million times before, then you may be able to change the direction your brain is heading in, and go towards a creative experience instead. Don't then worry about a possible audience - just write for yourself, or an imaginary crowd. Think through a possible expansion or train of thought of what you just experienced. Do some yoga while considering a new story, character, set, or critique of what you've just experienced.
You have a lot of friendships. You have a lot of people who genuinely care about you. We are concerned, want to help, and are sometimes at a loss as to how we can help. Please don't assume we are keeping a distance because of you - we are always close at hand, eager to help out in any way we can.
We want and need your creative energy and personality. There's no one else I've ever met who's like you and while it may sound weird since we don't hang out, I would feel a tremendous sense of loss if you left this life. If I, a mere "internet friend", feel this way I know there are hundreds of others much closer to you who love and value you much more than I.
You have succeeded, you are succeeding, and you have such amazing talents that you merely need to put one foot in front of the other to accomplish good and great things.
I look forward to seeing what you do next.
You need to change your thinking on this. Here are some facts:I'd hoped to make a living as a writer and I haven't, so yes, it's a failure. I'm not good enough to be a writer of any value.
No I don't and I don't know where you're getting this idea from.Here's what you do seem to have: A small but dedicated fan base that likes you, your characters, and the stories you put those characters in.
From people posting here. Dill gets far more mentions here than any characters of my books (hint, I get none). I see 13 4 and 5 star reviews on your Smoke and Mirrors amazon page, and the average 4.32 rating on Goodreads (where it's harder to get good ratings than on Amazon). And, I see on Goodreads, you have a person currently reading it, so it's not like it's gone and forgotten.No I don't and I don't know where you're getting this idea from.
And if it was a dedicated fanbase, those numbers should have logically carried over to the second book. But it barely got any attention. I might have seen one or two small royalty cheques for the first book, but I haven't seen a dime for the second. I don't see anyone talking about it. Which makes me think people who picked up the first book didn't like it enough to bother with the second one. Hell, more often than not, do you know what I hear? "Oh yeah, I read the first couple of pages, but haven't had a chance to read any further." And that will be the last I hear from that person on it, which translates to "I didn't like it, so I stopped reading it and don't want to hurt your feelings."From people posting here. Dill gets far more mentions here than any characters of my books (hint, I get none). I see 13 4 and 5 star reviews on your Smoke and Mirrors amazon page, and the average 4.32 rating on Goodreads (where it's harder to get good ratings than on Amazon). And, I see on Goodreads, you have a person currently reading it, so it's not like it's gone and forgotten.
Your second book has a slightly different author name than the first. If I didn't know the title, I wouldn't even know you had a second book. The sequel doesn't show up on your Amazon author page. You might want to address that with your publisher.And if it was a dedicated fanbase, those numbers should have logically carried over to the second book. But it barely got any attention. I might have seen one or two small royalty cheques for the first book, but I haven't seen a dime for the second. I don't see anyone talking about it. Which makes me think people who picked up the first book didn't like it enough to bother with the second one. Hell, more often than not, do you know what I hear? "Oh yeah, I read the first couple of pages, but haven't had a chance to read any further." And that will be the last I hear from that person on it, which translates to "I didn't like it, so I stopped reading it and don't want to hurt your feelings."
That was my fault. I decided to drop the stupid, pretentious C out of my author name. It was supposed to be a little nod to the author that inspired Dill: Simon R Green. But then decided it sounded pretentious and thought to drop it for the second book and from then on. No point fixing it now.Your second book has a slightly different author name than the first. If I didn't know the title, I wouldn't even know you had a second book. The sequel doesn't show up on your Amazon author page. You might want to address that with your publisher.
That said, even though you have less reviews on your 2nd book (as do I), they're all 5 stars.
You have more reviews for it on Goodreads, and again it reviews well. In fact, your books do better than mine in the avg. review rating.
My friend Mark has "Mark Everett Stone" on all his books. Stopping at the first letter is nothing in comparison.That was my fault. I decided to drop the stupid, pretentious C out of my author name. It was supposed to be a little nod to the author that inspired Dill: Simon R Green. But then decided it sounded pretentious and thought to drop it for the second book and from then on. No point fixing it now.
My dad always said... there's no bureaucrat like a Texas bureaucrat.Denton county is backwards as fuck.
So, some background: From my first marriage, there was a child. In Texas, nearly all child support is handled via wage garnishment. It's actually not a bad policy, as it ensures that the money obligation for helping support the kid you helped create gets handled first.
So, I paid child support on that child until she turned 18 and graduated. The state of Texas child support division issued a letter to my employer terminating support (and the insurance requirement) and my company stopped garnishing my wages. All well and good.
My son, whom I had custody of, just turned 18 and graduated. I've been getting child support payments from my ex-wife for the last 10 years or so. But now that the obligation has expired, her employer will not stop garnishment. Which means I have to turn around and give her the money back. No problem---I'll just call the state and tell them to write the same letter that I got when my firstborn turned 18.
Easier said than done. W were divorced in Denton County. Which means that the county is handling our child support. The Texas state child support division has us listed as a "registration only" case, meaning they don't have any of the court orders or any of the documentation. They simply take her money and put it in my bank account. As such, they will issue no letters, and advise me to contact the county.
The county (incidentally, that clerk on the phone was a total bitch) tells me that they don't generate letters. If her employer will not end the support simply because the order has expired (which it has), then we have to file a petition with the county judge. Meaning we have to file legal paperwork, schedule a court date, both fly back to Texas, and stand before a judge simply to say "Hey, the kid's 18 and out of school. Can you rubber stamp this petition so we can give it to her company and the child support will stop?"
It's fucking ridiculous. It's gonna cost us both more in lost time and wages than 2-3 months of child support.
So what you're saying is I've been lied to all my life?Denton county is backwards as fuck.
So, some background: From my first marriage, there was a child. In Texas, nearly all child support is handled via wage garnishment. It's actually not a bad policy, as it ensures that the money obligation for helping support the kid you helped create gets handled first.
So, I paid child support on that child until she turned 18 and graduated. The state of Texas child support division issued a letter to my employer terminating support (and the insurance requirement) and my company stopped garnishing my wages. All well and good.
My son, whom I had custody of, just turned 18 and graduated. I've been getting child support payments from my ex-wife for the last 10 years or so. But now that the obligation has expired, her employer will not stop garnishment. Which means I have to turn around and give her the money back. No problem---I'll just call the state and tell them to write the same letter that I got when my firstborn turned 18.
Easier said than done. W were divorced in Denton County. Which means that the county is handling our child support. The Texas state child support division has us listed as a "registration only" case, meaning they don't have any of the court orders or any of the documentation. They simply take her money and put it in my bank account. As such, they will issue no letters, and advise me to contact the county.
The county (incidentally, that clerk on the phone was a total bitch) tells me that they don't generate letters. If her employer will not end the support simply because the order has expired (which it has), then we have to file a petition with the county judge. Meaning we have to file legal paperwork, schedule a court date, both fly back to Texas, and stand before a judge simply to say "Hey, the kid's 18 and out of school. Can you rubber stamp this petition so we can give it to her company and the child support will stop?"
It's fucking ridiculous. It's gonna cost us both more in lost time and wages than 2-3 months of child support.
Well like all red haired folks she is a creature of the night.Holy shit the fact you pulled that out is amazing.
I have been to many Rocky Horror shows, and I remember you're supposed to read the sign aloud. What I'm surprised about is how many times I've heard Denton mentioned in casual conversation over the last 10-15 years. The internet has introduced me to many current and ex-Texans.Holy shit the fact you pulled that out is amazing.
I was about to add the appropriate Janet gif to that, and remembered this is Halforums.Well like all red haired folks she is a creature of the night.
creature of the night.
Laura Branigan is also acceptable.I was about to add the appropriate Janet gif to that, and remembered this is Halforums.
Bad idea.
I was about to add the appropriate Janet gif to that, and remembered this is Halforums.
Bad idea.
That's what she said.Holy shit the fact you pulled that out is amazing.