The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
I would bet you were literally their only vendor for which that was the case. There’s nothing wrong with valuing yourself properly.
You ever find yourself wanting to DJ a wedding like it was a strip club if the clients are annoying?
Also since I'm apparently on the subject of mash-ups, gonna share this new absolute master of the genre I was referred to, a guy named Bill McClintock. I mean, this mash-up is genius not only for the seamless joining of the music, but also the narratives:
And here's another fine example:
--Patrick
And here's another fine example:
--Patrick
GasBandit
Staff member
I can raise my left eyebrow, or both eyebrows, but not the right eyebrow by itself.
I can wiggle my right ear, or both ears, but not the left ear by itself.
The things you discover while waiting for a university networking department to get off their ass and finish their job.
I can wiggle my right ear, or both ears, but not the left ear by itself.
The things you discover while waiting for a university networking department to get off their ass and finish their job.
But can you flare your nostrils? Or bounce the tip of your nose up and down?
--Patrick
The technician was found months later, still waiting on university IT to get off their asses.
GasBandit
Staff member
Yes and no.
Our kitten is licking my monitor while I work. Thank you, I guess?
GasBandit
Staff member
figmentPez
Staff member
Amazon installs lockers on a Chicago park's sidewalk
That horrible monstrosity is wrong on so many levels. It's a hazard to park occupants. It's horrible that Amazon is using a public park for profit, and they were too cheap to even install their own concrete pad for it.
That horrible monstrosity is wrong on so many levels. It's a hazard to park occupants. It's horrible that Amazon is using a public park for profit, and they were too cheap to even install their own concrete pad for it.
GasBandit
Staff member
Public park aside, having been dealing with construction companies and subcontractors now for a couple years professionally, my first suspicion on that last bit would actually be that Amazon gave whatever company they hired to install it a vague enough Scope of Work that it left it ambiguous as to exactly what was to be done.
I've seen similar things happen a hundred times, sometimes even within my own company.
The client meets with a sales weasel and an estimator, they go to the location, the customer says "I want the hub here. It's going to be a row of lockers, 8 long, painted in our colors and using our branding, installed on a concrete pad at the sidewalk."
Sales and estimating say "yup yup sure we can do that no problem yup absolutely" and they make some quick notes on a notepad and go back to the office.
The estimator guesses at the amount to charge the client for all the metal, the paint, the concrete, and the labor. He tells the sales weasel how much that is.
The sales weasel quickly and with minimal diligence bashes out a proposal document in word, a task he resents having to do because he thinks his part of the project should have ended when the customer agreed to spend money and this should be somebody else's problem now. So he basically just types up "Metal lockers, 8 units long, painted and branded according to Amazon's branding guides, installed on concrete at the sidewalk nearest 5th and Main, budget not to exceed $20,000" e-mails it to the client for approval.
The client skims the proposal, thinks "yeah that's pretty much what I said, whatever, I'm busy," signs it and sends it back. The sales weasel doesn't even read the reply, he just knows it is approved because his phone tells him the e-mail has an attachment, which it wouldn't if the client was saying "no," so he just forwards the e-mail unopened to the project manager and goes back to his lunchtime martini.
Project manager gets it and forwards it to design, so that plan documents can be generated - IE, a floorplan, or in this case, grounds map, to scale, of what it should look like when it is finished. The designer has never spoken to the customer, the sales weasel, or the estimator, and the only person he can ask for more information is the project manager. But every time he does he gets a sigh and an eyeroll because the project manager has 9 other projects in flight and this one is a piddly set of lockers, how hard could it be? So he gets the public surveyor documentation of the park, imports it into Revit (which is sort of like an autocad program for construction, landscaping, and architecture), and creates a precise document based on his best-guess interpretation.
It may have been obvious to the sales weasel and the estimator that the client meant for a new concrete pad to be poured for the lockers, and they thought "well obviously they'd want that, who would possibly think otherwise?" and so the sales weasel didn't bother explicitly saying in the proposal that a new concrete pad would be installed. But the designer has never spoken to any of these people, and might be new to landscape/construction, so going off the proposal - which is now a de facto signed Scope of Work even though there's SUPPOSED to be another step in turning a proposal into a SOW but that would mean less time for martinis and also it would mean more time tracked to the project when Executive Upper Management is already on everybody's ass to keep their hours down because if a project goes over hours on labor they don't get more money, the company has to eat the cost.
So, with the vague SOW he's been provided, and his lack of context, the designer pulls up his map, sees the only concrete in the area is the sidewalk itself, reads the one-line SOW again to make sure he read it right, mentally shrugs, and draws the lockers on the sidewalk. He marks his ticket complete, and sends the vector PDF back to the Project Manager.
The PM may or may not actually open the document to look at it, depending on how diligent a person he is and how busy he is that day. Even if he does, and he notices the lockers are on the sidewalk, and even if it strikes him as odd, he may re-read the same vague SOW, look back at the plans, and think to himself "Well, I guess that does satisfy the signed Scope of Work, and the designer didn't ask me any questions, maybe he got clarification straight from sales or something, whatever, I'm late for a site walkthrough for a job that will be 10 times this one's budget, and any time I question a design that art-school drama queen makes a big production out of it and I don't have time for that" and he'll push the project onward, scheduling workers to go out there and do the job and ordering the materials required to accomplish the design - and since the design doesn't include pouring new concrete, it doesn't get ordered.
The workers arrive the day of construction, and the superintendent unrolls the gigantic plotter printout of the design. "Seriously? We're putting this shit right on the fucking sidewalk? That's retarded. But every time I push back I get yelled at and told to shut up and do the work as assigned, so that's what I'll do. Fill the hole, hole filler. Yes sir, yes sir." So even though it is obviously stupid to the guys doing the actual work on the ground, they've been discouraged from pointing such things out to "the assholes sitting back in the air conditioned office sipping their free sodas from the company break room and writing e-mails and having meetings all day, unlike us poor abused blue collar heroes who have to do the real work to make their fever dreams a reality on a daily basis for half the local standard pay for this kind of work. Shit, I hate this job, I wonder if they're hiring over at CompetitorCo."
The super cracks the whip and the installers bust their asses and get the work done ahead of schedule and way under labor budget (because the estimate and budget were made assuming a concrete pad would be poured and have to dry before lockers could be put in). So the Super is very pleased with himself as he reports he's done to the PM, the PM comes out, looks at what they did, notes that it exactly matches what was on the design document, smiles and takes the guys out to lunch and buys them a round of beer for doing such a good job and coming in so far under budget. The PM goes back to the office and e-mails everyone how much of a success the project was and how much gonzo profit they made because labor came in so WAY far below what was estimated, and everybody is feeling really good and moving on to the other 9 things clamoring for their attention....
... and then locals start posting about how fucking stupid you are on social media. And everybody in the company realizes, "holy shit, that WAS stupid. But it's not MY fault, I did everything I was supposed to do."
GasBandit
Staff member
That is my daily life.
Only I'm an extra layer between Design and the Super, who is also held accountable for the final technical functionality of the project but also unable to ask design directly what their intent was or who they got clarification from - I'm also just supposed to communicate with every other team member through the PM.
Edit - more accurate to the metaphor, I'm the guy who has to make the lockers work like lockers, and I am supposed to do that before the lockers get taken to the park, but often the workers will install the lockers upside down and backwards and then the client will want to know why the lockers don't work like they're supposed to, and I have to go out and find the problem, then yell at the workers for installing them upside down and backwards, also not realizing they're not supposed to be on the sidewalk because, like the workers, my first and only contact with how this is supposed to go is when I was handed the design docs and the signed SoW.
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This reads like an excerpt from The Peter Principle.
GasBandit
Staff member
A lot of my narrative exposition style comes from inspiration from Dave Barry, I think.
I got a brilliant or crazy idea. Maybe both. I have some remaining vacation days coming up. I'll have August 28-31 off.
I'm thinking of doing a biking trip from Halifax to Lunenburg. Google Maps says is takes about 6 hours to get there via the biking trails.
I could leave early Saturday (28th) and probably be there by early afternoon. I'd pace myself, stop at places along the way and "refuel." Then spend Sunday/Monday in Lunenburg, do some touristy things (I like doing touristy things), and bike back Tuesday.
I've never done a big ride like this before, but I feel I'm in shape enough for the task. It's too bad I don't know anyone who could join me. I don't really know any cyclists in my area. If I was in a relationship, it's the kind of thing I'd love for someone to join me on.
This is all weather pending, of course. We've seen a lot of rain this season.
Still, the more I think about it, the more I'm thinking it'd be fun. I've never been to Lunenburg, so it might be a lot of fun.
And since I wrote this out on Facebook, I booked a room at the Wheelhouse Motel. So looks like it's game on for this crazy idea.
I'm thinking of doing a biking trip from Halifax to Lunenburg. Google Maps says is takes about 6 hours to get there via the biking trails.
I could leave early Saturday (28th) and probably be there by early afternoon. I'd pace myself, stop at places along the way and "refuel." Then spend Sunday/Monday in Lunenburg, do some touristy things (I like doing touristy things), and bike back Tuesday.
I've never done a big ride like this before, but I feel I'm in shape enough for the task. It's too bad I don't know anyone who could join me. I don't really know any cyclists in my area. If I was in a relationship, it's the kind of thing I'd love for someone to join me on.
This is all weather pending, of course. We've seen a lot of rain this season.
Still, the more I think about it, the more I'm thinking it'd be fun. I've never been to Lunenburg, so it might be a lot of fun.
And since I wrote this out on Facebook, I booked a room at the Wheelhouse Motel. So looks like it's game on for this crazy idea.
It sounds like an adventure! Even if everything doesn't go perfectly, it would still be a worthwhile experience.
Make sure you bring your bike cam. You'll probably get some great footage.
Oh, that's definitely going to happen. I have a portable charger, too, so I'll try to keep the spare battery charging when I can.