R
Rubicon
tl:dr version - heart break blows ass, love sucks
here's a good manbaw story to entertain the masses;
So, against my better judgement about a year ago, I started hunting around online for women to talk to. Yea yea, save the "better to meet people IRL" speech, Ive met people online with various levels of success in the past and know married couples who met online, so I know it could be done.
Anyway, I began looking. No paid-dating type sites, cause A) I couldnt afford it and B) I really dont trust places like eharmony (who discriminate against gays and non-christians, im not gay but not really religious either). So i looked around some free dating sites, against my Jimmny Cricket on my shoulder I even put a picture up in some places, as well as hung out in some chat rooms with video cam chat (not cyber rooms but regular normal chatting places).
Well I narrowed my search down to one site that specialized in BBW/BHM (big beautiful women, big handsome men), since ya know I'm the stereotype fanboy, late twenties, fairly overweight, not a lot of money, still living at home (NOT in a basement thank god). What can I say, I was weak. I was lonely. Been years since I last had a gf and the last couple out of (three) total in twenty eight years, didn't end so well. Why not give it another shot. I never really believed in love, even when the "emotions" (pfft men admitting emotions, gaaaaaaaaaaay) felt what you would describe as love, since it seems most like a concept rather than something real. The concept is what I think people fall for, that the person they are with (or the person they want) is meant to be, when in reality it's supposedly a chemical reaction in the brain.
Needless to say, I sure as fuck didn't listen to my brain (no I wasn't thinking with my wang either). As said, I was lonely. So I kept on looking on this site, and as I knew it would be, no one ever messaged me. I'd message other women time to time, might strike up a polite conversation but thats all that ever came out of that. Sept one day after looking for a while, this one rather beautifully striking lady, year younger than me, msgs me. We talk, talk some more, so on and so forth. And for all intents and purposes in my eyes she's perfect. Granted, we don't have a lot in common, but some. Children of the 80's, like mostly the same music, she's not really a nerd but likes some nerdy stuff, etc
All's well and good right? Oh but it gets interesting.
From the start, I already knew from our first conversation she's married. Oh yea, married. Now before you go thinking "wow, a home wrecker now mav?" Nah, not my style. But from what she says, her husband is an asshole who mentally abuses her (basically, being a dick all the time, always talking down to her, never helping out with anything, etc). And as time went on this became true very quickly, since we'd talk on webcam's daily, it wasn't long until his behavior she mentioned easily shown true. So I didn't really worry about breaking up a home or adultery cause for all things said, he was a glorified roommate. And they have a daughter, cute kid, about to turn 3 now, very energetic and full of life. Jackass husband never spent time with her, never cared if she was hurt or sick, nothin.r
Time passes on, needless to say I rearrange my entire life for her and her daughter. I basically drop off the map online from talking to friends (online only friends but friends still), post less on forums, etc so I can spend time job hunting, so I can both A) help her pay for a divorce and B) move to her state (she lives 1100 miles away). We're both, at least it seemed, deeply "in love" (bahaha .. i was an idiot), etc. Things on track. I manage to land a job, get a cell phone so we arent stuck with MSN/Skype to talk, even skipped out on a major comic book convention to spend the weekend with her (paid for her to fly here, paid for the upscale hotel room, rented a fucking limo, i went all out). Things went, ok. Neither one of us turned out to be axe murderers in disguise as the internet is supposedly full of, there were some ackward moments such as the sex, she's had plenty of "experience" compared to my "none". I won't go into details but that part didnt turn out so well but she didnt seem to hate me for it. (June of this year)
Some time goes by, we still talk daily, I still save money to move there, etc. There's a few rocky patches, she's affraid she'll "cheat" on me like she does her husband, which hey when you feel as privaleged as I did to be a participtant, you really dont care if they do cheat on you, you'll feel like overlooking it. September rolls around and I pay for her to come out again for labor day weekend, using a buddy at work as an alibi for the family (they hate the internet), I again pay for most of all of it, which I never complain about, we get a rental car this time, nice condo-type rental with a kitchen, etc. Went a little better in some ways than last time, worse in others. Again same kind of complications of sex arose (and for those already hitting reply assuming it was some kind of E.D. issue, trust me that was not the case, kind of the opposite in fact). For the most part, a good weekend.
Time goes by, things going ok for the most part. Her laptop motherboard dies out, which sucks cause thats our main form of communication, online. So I start looking for a cheap replacement for her. In the mean time, we get by through emailing couple times an hour when we're both at work, maybe a phone call on our lunch breaks, etc. Till Thursday this past week. I get home from work, no emails, no txt, no phone call. Nothing. Now if she's usually busy, she'll always manage to find time to email me or txt me, something at least. Nothing. Not a word. Now, before I continue, this is a woman whos said she's afraid she'd cheat on me, yea I know I'm a fucking glutton for both food AND punishment, I practically asked for it and said it was ok so i got no room to complain. Anyway that Friday (this past friday) rolls around, we talk on my lunch break, said her husband was mad she came home late last night. He had been being an ass so she decided to go driving for a few hours till he decided to be a human being. least that's what she told him. turns out she went to get coffee, with a friend, at like midnight. Now, normally if its a female friend she'd say the name but she said friend. Then when we talked at lunch, she says a guy friend. My spidey sense tingled and I even said "Hmm i gotta question but I aint gonna ask" but I knew.
So today, yea she confesses an hour or two ago. She was with this guy, he lives semi-locally (35 miles away compared to my 1100), met him online a while ago. I ask why, course the general "its not you its me, its just we're so far apart, and the sex and everything". Funny part is, I'm not even mad. Not angry, least not right now. Sad, bit heart broken, sick to my stomach and disgusted at the idea of her with some other guy (hey i still have to really not concentrate to get the thought of her and her asshole husband out of my mind at times). I ask what any dumbass asks, would she see him again. She says she probably would, she likes him, yet still "loves" me (or at least appears so, maybe).
yea..i'm an idiot.. really really am. and thie funny part that really gets me is, her daughter's birthday is tommorrow, and here I was this past week spending most of my paycheck ordering her toys off Amazon having them over nighted to her. Not that I mind, I mean her kid is a great kid and I want her to have a great birthday either way but damn. So here I am, like being all manbaw on the phone, trying to understand where the fuck I went wrong, course she swears I did nothing wrong per-say but wow, a little heads up would be nice. Be honest, tell me. Do they ever do that? Noooooooooo
And the part I love, I really really love, I have to go to bed, somehow manage to get up in 7 hours, to go to work, at a job, I got, to be with her. Irony is a bitch.
I always manage to pick the ones that are going to nuke your heart from orbit, to be sure.
I don't drink, at all. But fuck me, Juski or one of our other resident drunks, pass me some hard liquor.
here's a good manbaw story to entertain the masses;
So, against my better judgement about a year ago, I started hunting around online for women to talk to. Yea yea, save the "better to meet people IRL" speech, Ive met people online with various levels of success in the past and know married couples who met online, so I know it could be done.
Anyway, I began looking. No paid-dating type sites, cause A) I couldnt afford it and B) I really dont trust places like eharmony (who discriminate against gays and non-christians, im not gay but not really religious either). So i looked around some free dating sites, against my Jimmny Cricket on my shoulder I even put a picture up in some places, as well as hung out in some chat rooms with video cam chat (not cyber rooms but regular normal chatting places).
Well I narrowed my search down to one site that specialized in BBW/BHM (big beautiful women, big handsome men), since ya know I'm the stereotype fanboy, late twenties, fairly overweight, not a lot of money, still living at home (NOT in a basement thank god). What can I say, I was weak. I was lonely. Been years since I last had a gf and the last couple out of (three) total in twenty eight years, didn't end so well. Why not give it another shot. I never really believed in love, even when the "emotions" (pfft men admitting emotions, gaaaaaaaaaaay) felt what you would describe as love, since it seems most like a concept rather than something real. The concept is what I think people fall for, that the person they are with (or the person they want) is meant to be, when in reality it's supposedly a chemical reaction in the brain.
Needless to say, I sure as fuck didn't listen to my brain (no I wasn't thinking with my wang either). As said, I was lonely. So I kept on looking on this site, and as I knew it would be, no one ever messaged me. I'd message other women time to time, might strike up a polite conversation but thats all that ever came out of that. Sept one day after looking for a while, this one rather beautifully striking lady, year younger than me, msgs me. We talk, talk some more, so on and so forth. And for all intents and purposes in my eyes she's perfect. Granted, we don't have a lot in common, but some. Children of the 80's, like mostly the same music, she's not really a nerd but likes some nerdy stuff, etc
All's well and good right? Oh but it gets interesting.
From the start, I already knew from our first conversation she's married. Oh yea, married. Now before you go thinking "wow, a home wrecker now mav?" Nah, not my style. But from what she says, her husband is an asshole who mentally abuses her (basically, being a dick all the time, always talking down to her, never helping out with anything, etc). And as time went on this became true very quickly, since we'd talk on webcam's daily, it wasn't long until his behavior she mentioned easily shown true. So I didn't really worry about breaking up a home or adultery cause for all things said, he was a glorified roommate. And they have a daughter, cute kid, about to turn 3 now, very energetic and full of life. Jackass husband never spent time with her, never cared if she was hurt or sick, nothin.r
Time passes on, needless to say I rearrange my entire life for her and her daughter. I basically drop off the map online from talking to friends (online only friends but friends still), post less on forums, etc so I can spend time job hunting, so I can both A) help her pay for a divorce and B) move to her state (she lives 1100 miles away). We're both, at least it seemed, deeply "in love" (bahaha .. i was an idiot), etc. Things on track. I manage to land a job, get a cell phone so we arent stuck with MSN/Skype to talk, even skipped out on a major comic book convention to spend the weekend with her (paid for her to fly here, paid for the upscale hotel room, rented a fucking limo, i went all out). Things went, ok. Neither one of us turned out to be axe murderers in disguise as the internet is supposedly full of, there were some ackward moments such as the sex, she's had plenty of "experience" compared to my "none". I won't go into details but that part didnt turn out so well but she didnt seem to hate me for it. (June of this year)
Some time goes by, we still talk daily, I still save money to move there, etc. There's a few rocky patches, she's affraid she'll "cheat" on me like she does her husband, which hey when you feel as privaleged as I did to be a participtant, you really dont care if they do cheat on you, you'll feel like overlooking it. September rolls around and I pay for her to come out again for labor day weekend, using a buddy at work as an alibi for the family (they hate the internet), I again pay for most of all of it, which I never complain about, we get a rental car this time, nice condo-type rental with a kitchen, etc. Went a little better in some ways than last time, worse in others. Again same kind of complications of sex arose (and for those already hitting reply assuming it was some kind of E.D. issue, trust me that was not the case, kind of the opposite in fact). For the most part, a good weekend.
Time goes by, things going ok for the most part. Her laptop motherboard dies out, which sucks cause thats our main form of communication, online. So I start looking for a cheap replacement for her. In the mean time, we get by through emailing couple times an hour when we're both at work, maybe a phone call on our lunch breaks, etc. Till Thursday this past week. I get home from work, no emails, no txt, no phone call. Nothing. Now if she's usually busy, she'll always manage to find time to email me or txt me, something at least. Nothing. Not a word. Now, before I continue, this is a woman whos said she's afraid she'd cheat on me, yea I know I'm a fucking glutton for both food AND punishment, I practically asked for it and said it was ok so i got no room to complain. Anyway that Friday (this past friday) rolls around, we talk on my lunch break, said her husband was mad she came home late last night. He had been being an ass so she decided to go driving for a few hours till he decided to be a human being. least that's what she told him. turns out she went to get coffee, with a friend, at like midnight. Now, normally if its a female friend she'd say the name but she said friend. Then when we talked at lunch, she says a guy friend. My spidey sense tingled and I even said "Hmm i gotta question but I aint gonna ask" but I knew.
So today, yea she confesses an hour or two ago. She was with this guy, he lives semi-locally (35 miles away compared to my 1100), met him online a while ago. I ask why, course the general "its not you its me, its just we're so far apart, and the sex and everything". Funny part is, I'm not even mad. Not angry, least not right now. Sad, bit heart broken, sick to my stomach and disgusted at the idea of her with some other guy (hey i still have to really not concentrate to get the thought of her and her asshole husband out of my mind at times). I ask what any dumbass asks, would she see him again. She says she probably would, she likes him, yet still "loves" me (or at least appears so, maybe).
yea..i'm an idiot.. really really am. and thie funny part that really gets me is, her daughter's birthday is tommorrow, and here I was this past week spending most of my paycheck ordering her toys off Amazon having them over nighted to her. Not that I mind, I mean her kid is a great kid and I want her to have a great birthday either way but damn. So here I am, like being all manbaw on the phone, trying to understand where the fuck I went wrong, course she swears I did nothing wrong per-say but wow, a little heads up would be nice. Be honest, tell me. Do they ever do that? Noooooooooo
And the part I love, I really really love, I have to go to bed, somehow manage to get up in 7 hours, to go to work, at a job, I got, to be with her. Irony is a bitch.
I always manage to pick the ones that are going to nuke your heart from orbit, to be sure.
I don't drink, at all. But fuck me, Juski or one of our other resident drunks, pass me some hard liquor.
*hug*
