Ask me anything. I will answer every question with two answers, one true and one false
- Thread starter bhamv3
- Start date
Answer 1:
Well, if you think about it, ultimately it's impossible to know everything for certain on the Internet. Well, that's not quite true, if you tried hard enough I suppose it's possible to know everything. But it would be unfeasible to try to know everything. Sometimes there are some things that you just need to accept on faith. It is, of course, easier to accept things without proof if they are relatively inconsequential. If I said "I saw a red bird today", no one could blame you if you did not demand proof; indeed, you might get some odd looks if you did demand proof. In contrast, if I said "I saw the Pope kissing Kim Davis today" then it would be perfectly reasonable for you to say "pics or GTFO." So therefore, we must consider whether the possibility of me being an android and the vanguard of humanity's downfall is plausible and consequential enough to need to demand proof. Certainly, it would seem to be quite important to determine whether all of humanity's going to die or be enslaved by robotic masters. But ultimately, the odds of something like that happening are so low, the idea becomes something absurd, and can largely be dismissed outright. Our current technology levels simply do not permit the construction of believable androids yet. In other words, you can know for certain, as far as certainty is possible, that I am not a robot. Of course, I do also recognize the possibility that you would think this is a robot trying to mislead you, which leads me back to my original point, namely that you can't really know everything for certain on the Internet.
Answer 2:
I'm going to post a picture of me naked, showing all my organic bits, so you can see I'm not a robot.
Will you answer this truthfully?
Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk
What aren't you answering these questions yet!!?!!
(It is the middle of the night where he is...)
So? This is worth getting out of bed for!
GasBandit
Staff member
Answer 1:
I'm quite happy to do short, simple translations for free. I've answered short translation questions for forumites in the past, so there's definitely a precedent.
Answer 2:
It would be a violation of professional ethics for me to do translations for free, since this would undercut the established market rates. So, while I'd personally have no problem translating stuff for you guys, if my colleagues in the translation field ever found out, I'd be in trouble.[DOUBLEPOST=1444261802,1444261751][/DOUBLEPOST]
Answer 1:
A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Answer 2:
Nine wood. Nine.[DOUBLEPOST=1444261909][/DOUBLEPOST]
Answer 1:
I get to eat anything I want and enjoy blessed introvertedness for the rest of my life? Sign me up!
Answer 2:
Hmm... I'm actually curious how my seductive powers would work if I'm so malodorous. I'm going to go with this one, for scientific curiosity if nothing else.[DOUBLEPOST=1444261951][/DOUBLEPOST]
Answer 1:
Zero.
Answer 2:
More than zero.
Answer 1:
Hong Kong, definitely. Can never get enough of that dim sum.
Answer 2:
The home of the Singaporean accent is definitely the place to be. I can never get enough of that accent.[DOUBLEPOST=1444262225,1444262184][/DOUBLEPOST]
Answer 1:
I was busy masturbating.
Answer 2:
I was busy having sex.[DOUBLEPOST=1444262355][/DOUBLEPOST]
Answer 1:
Ah, I see what you're doing here, very clever! You're setting it up so that my two answers will be paradoxical, thus sending anyone who reads it into an infinite loop, until their brain suffers segmentation faults.
Answer 2:
Eh? I don't get it.[DOUBLEPOST=1444262471][/DOUBLEPOST]
Answer 1:
I've always wanted to be a professional gamer. Might be because I play too many video games. However, I have no idea how I'd get into such a career, and I have no idea how feasible it is. Still, can't fault a guy for dreaming.
Answer 2:
I've always wanted to be a professional assassin. Might be because I play too many video games. However, I have no idea how I'd get into such a career, and I have no idea how feasible it is. Still, can't fault a guy for dreaming.
Answer 1:
Bee aych ay em vee, space, eye en, space, see aych eye en ee es ee.
Answer 2:
これは実際に日本語であります[DOUBLEPOST=1444262761,1444262673][/DOUBLEPOST]
Answer 1:
The Gregorian calendar is more commonly used in everyday life, so the Lunar calendar is really just used for traditional events or holidays. Really, you can ignore the Lunar calendar and nothing bad would happen to you.
Answer 2:
The Lunar calendar is actually based on the moon's movements, which makes it very handy for predicting the movement of the tides and seasonal climate changes. Ignore it at your peril.
Answer 1:
I actually don't find any meme or gif annoying. As long as they're appropriate to the situation, they can be amusing no matter how old they are.
Answer 2:
Can't stand rickrolling.
Answer 1:
I am the third bhamv. Funny story about the username bhamv, actually. All the way back in the olden days, when dinosaurs ruled the earth and Dave was considered only middle-aged, we received an AOL floppy disk in the mail. So, naturally, having never used the Internet before, we decided to install AOL on the family computer. AOL prompted us for a username, and since this was the family computer and it would be our family's Internet account, we took the first initial of everyone in our family and combined it to form "bhamv". I'm the "a" in the middle there. Then, later on, I became the primary user of the AOL account, since I'm the biggest geek in the household, and I naturally took over the bhamv moniker. Generally speaking, if you see a "bhamv" on the Internet, that means it's me, with the notable exception of on Twitter, where some random guy registered the username "bhamv" before I could. Bastard. Bhamv was the username I registered in the Image boards when I first joined up, which was used on the Halfpixel boards as well, and then when we moved to Halforums I used bhamv to start. When I got to 666 posts, though, I decided that that was a perfect time to retire the bhamv account, so I registered bhamv2 and started using that instead. And then when bhamv2 got to 666 posts, I registered bhamv3. And then I ran out of email addresses to use for new accounts, so I stayed with bhamv3.
Answer 2:
I am the third bhamv. Funny story about the username bhamv, actually. I lived in the UK from 1997 to 2003 or so, and I had the chance to attend the first leg of the 1999 First Division playoff semifinal between Watford and Birmingham City. Back then, Watford were sponsored by CTX, a Taiwanese manufacturer of monitors and other computer products. My dad's work had led to him receiving some free tickets to the match at Vicarage Road, Watford's home stadium, so naturally he took me with him. We were also accompanied by a few other people from my father's workplace, all of whom were from Taiwan, and all of whom knew very little about football and the league system in England. As a result, for most of the car ride there, I had to explain the concepts of promotion and relegation, the playoff system, the shirt sponsor system, etc. There was one elderly lady, called Mrs. Hong, who had two sons who both went to university in Birmingham. As a result, she felt a strong affinity for Birmingham, and so she announced that she'd be supporting Birmingham in the upcoming match. My dad and his other coworkers all said that we should be supporting Watford, since we would be enjoying the hospitality at Watford's stadium, and it was Watford's sponsor who'd invited us. But Mrs. Hong was adamant that she'd be cheering on Birmingham City. So, since I didn't really have a horse in the race (I supported Manchester United back then), I told Mrs. Hong that I'd be rooting for Birmingham with her. So throughout the match, I sat next to her and explained the intricacies of the game, such as the formations the two sides were using, the reasons for these formations, what to look out for when one side or the other attacked, etc. She didn't really understand most of it, but we had fun nonetheless.
Unfortunately, Watford won the first leg 1-0. Birmingham won the return leg 1-0 as well, which meant the semifinal was decided by penalties. Watford won the shootout, and then went on to win the playoff final and promotion to the Premier League. But I've always remembered that match at Vicarage Road, when I sat next to this kind and easily-excited old lady and explained everything I knew about football to her. I've had a soft spot for Birmingham since then, which is why I try to use the "bham" abbreviation in every username online. The "v" was added because "bham" is usually taken, so I appended a "v" at random.
I am the third bhamv. Funny story about the username bhamv, actually. All the way back in the olden days, when dinosaurs ruled the earth and Dave was considered only middle-aged, we received an AOL floppy disk in the mail. So, naturally, having never used the Internet before, we decided to install AOL on the family computer. AOL prompted us for a username, and since this was the family computer and it would be our family's Internet account, we took the first initial of everyone in our family and combined it to form "bhamv". I'm the "a" in the middle there. Then, later on, I became the primary user of the AOL account, since I'm the biggest geek in the household, and I naturally took over the bhamv moniker. Generally speaking, if you see a "bhamv" on the Internet, that means it's me, with the notable exception of on Twitter, where some random guy registered the username "bhamv" before I could. Bastard. Bhamv was the username I registered in the Image boards when I first joined up, which was used on the Halfpixel boards as well, and then when we moved to Halforums I used bhamv to start. When I got to 666 posts, though, I decided that that was a perfect time to retire the bhamv account, so I registered bhamv2 and started using that instead. And then when bhamv2 got to 666 posts, I registered bhamv3. And then I ran out of email addresses to use for new accounts, so I stayed with bhamv3.
Answer 2:
I am the third bhamv. Funny story about the username bhamv, actually. I lived in the UK from 1997 to 2003 or so, and I had the chance to attend the first leg of the 1999 First Division playoff semifinal between Watford and Birmingham City. Back then, Watford were sponsored by CTX, a Taiwanese manufacturer of monitors and other computer products. My dad's work had led to him receiving some free tickets to the match at Vicarage Road, Watford's home stadium, so naturally he took me with him. We were also accompanied by a few other people from my father's workplace, all of whom were from Taiwan, and all of whom knew very little about football and the league system in England. As a result, for most of the car ride there, I had to explain the concepts of promotion and relegation, the playoff system, the shirt sponsor system, etc. There was one elderly lady, called Mrs. Hong, who had two sons who both went to university in Birmingham. As a result, she felt a strong affinity for Birmingham, and so she announced that she'd be supporting Birmingham in the upcoming match. My dad and his other coworkers all said that we should be supporting Watford, since we would be enjoying the hospitality at Watford's stadium, and it was Watford's sponsor who'd invited us. But Mrs. Hong was adamant that she'd be cheering on Birmingham City. So, since I didn't really have a horse in the race (I supported Manchester United back then), I told Mrs. Hong that I'd be rooting for Birmingham with her. So throughout the match, I sat next to her and explained the intricacies of the game, such as the formations the two sides were using, the reasons for these formations, what to look out for when one side or the other attacked, etc. She didn't really understand most of it, but we had fun nonetheless.
Unfortunately, Watford won the first leg 1-0. Birmingham won the return leg 1-0 as well, which meant the semifinal was decided by penalties. Watford won the shootout, and then went on to win the playoff final and promotion to the Premier League. But I've always remembered that match at Vicarage Road, when I sat next to this kind and easily-excited old lady and explained everything I knew about football to her. I've had a soft spot for Birmingham since then, which is why I try to use the "bham" abbreviation in every username online. The "v" was added because "bham" is usually taken, so I appended a "v" at random.
BananaHands
Staff member
Would you invest in a grilled cheese scented candle?
Answer 1:
Certainly not! It'd make me constantly hungry for grilled cheese sandwiches!
Answer 2:
Certainly! It'd make me constantly hungry for grilled cheese sandwiches, and I'd constantly be eating grilled cheese sandwiches, and grilled cheese sandwiches are awesome!
Is your answer to this question false?
Are you trying to weasel out of having to divulge personal information by dressing up your answers as jokes?
Is there an animal more awesome than a doomweasel?
Are you, or are you not, in fact, a pervert?
How's the baby making coming along?
Bad translations are fun and your job wouldn't be as nice if you couldn't occasionally chuckle at a co-workers Engrish, true or true?
Are you trying to weasel out of having to divulge personal information by dressing up your answers as jokes?
Is there an animal more awesome than a doomweasel?
Are you, or are you not, in fact, a pervert?
How's the baby making coming along?
Bad translations are fun and your job wouldn't be as nice if you couldn't occasionally chuckle at a co-workers Engrish, true or true?