OMG @ThatNickGuy is fapping at the table in East Side Mario's
Unfortunately I think every parent, mothers in particular, get nagged by busybodies at some point or another about how to discipline, what they should eat, diapers to use, their size, their hair...and on and on. Sometimes they think they're offering sage advice, but mostly it's a subtle way to make themselves feel superior.
Also, those people are assholes.
While not baby related, I turn into super mega asshole around these people sometimes. Once at Home Depot Kid's Workshop, I was leaving my daughter to build her project on her own because my son needed help, and she was doing fine, and some women ignored her sons and kept trying to practically build my daughter's thing for her. I snapped at her that my daughter was perfectly capable of doing it on her own, and this women got so offended. I still doormat sometimes, but I have honestly gotten to the point in my life where I would rather offend everyone than get taken advantage of. I am too young to be a crotchety old person, but a part of me does not care.
Don't worry about being insensitive; though I've found myself in the anger stage at times today, it only comes up when I'm doing something and realize I only do it for the rats who aren't around to benefit from it, like making sure I don't crinkle plastic bags or checking that the light isn't directly on the now-empty cage.
It's come up in the past. I wish rats just lived longer; my wife and I love them. They're also one of the few mammals I'm generally not allergic to.
To me, it is less about longevity and more about the animal's personality.
I wish I could allow you to absorb my rage and use it as you please, because you're entitled to some raging after that shit.
Thanks for the commiseration guys.
I also now find myself in a spat in a moms group on facebook. One mother was talking about how horrified she was to find that her friend allows her 6 year old to go down the street to the park by himself. All the other moms started talking about how their kids aren't ever allowed out of their sight and how neglectful that was. One mother has a 14 year old that has never once been in another persons car, gone to a sleep over or went shopping on her own.
I just said that Jet goes out on his own and he's five. I also said that I believe in allowing kids to explore things with out a watchful gaze as I think its empowering, even if they do get into something they shouldn't at times.
...I am now basically mommy hitler. I don't love him enough. Someone will swipe him off the street and I'll never see him again.
Guess that's what I get for playing a devils advocate to a bunch of mothers who apparently have eyes in the back of their heads and infinite time for hand holding.
Maybe i am a sucky mom!
I also now find myself in a spat in a moms group on facebook. One mother was talking about how horrified she was to find that her friend allows her 6 year old to go down the street to the park by himself. All the other moms started talking about how their kids aren't ever allowed out of their sight and how neglectful that was. One mother has a 14 year old that has never once been in another persons car, gone to a sleep over or went shopping on her own.
I just said that Jet goes out on his own and he's five. I also said that I believe in allowing kids to explore things with out a watchful gaze as I think its empowering, even if they do get into something they shouldn't at times.
...I am now basically mommy hitler. I don't love him enough. Someone will swipe him off the street and I'll never see him again.
Guess that's what I get for playing a devils advocate to a bunch of mothers who apparently have eyes in the back of their heads and infinite time for hand holding.
Maybe i am a sucky mom!
Bought a new laptop. I think I may have overdone it. I wanted something I could do my homework on, some video work and play games with @Jay. Ended up with a beast of a machine that's just WAYYYYY too big to be a laptop. The 17" screen is nice for sure, but I feel like I could wield this as a shield it's so freaking massive.
If you're a sucky mom @LittleSin , then so am I. Noah went to his first sleepover at age 6. I don't let him go down the street on his own because our neighborhood has rules about any one younger than 10 needing an adult chaperon. However, he and Lily play outside in our front yard without us being there with them. We leave the door open so we can hear them if they start fighting or get hurt, but I've been trying not to interfere otherwise. He's also starting to use the stove on his own. I'm sure those ladies would shit a brick if they knew I let my 8 year old make his own grilled cheese sandwiches and use sharp knives to cut fruit for himself.
The thing about parenting is that there is no right or wrong way to do it (I'm not talking about neglect, abuse, or anything like that when I say "wrong way"), but everyone has an opinion about it. No one was given a manual when their child was born (Imagine the pain of that book coming out!). If you're comfortable with Jet being on his own at the park, then keep doing what you've been doing. He's learning natural consequences, self-reliance, and gaining confidence. If he was gone for hours and you had no clue at all where he went (think Lori Grimes from Walking Dead...Carl who?), then I could see questions being raised. Otherwise, Jet and your parenting are just fine.
The thing about parenting is that there is no right or wrong way to do it (I'm not talking about neglect, abuse, or anything like that when I say "wrong way"), but everyone has an opinion about it. No one was given a manual when their child was born (Imagine the pain of that book coming out!). If you're comfortable with Jet being on his own at the park, then keep doing what you've been doing. He's learning natural consequences, self-reliance, and gaining confidence. If he was gone for hours and you had no clue at all where he went (think Lori Grimes from Walking Dead...Carl who?), then I could see questions being raised. Otherwise, Jet and your parenting are just fine.
I always try to keep and ear open. There's no park where moved to so Il et him have free reign of the front and back yard. He planted his own sun flowers and straw berries...but some relative gasped when i told them I let him dig up the garden beds using the 'good shovel' (I don't know what that means...maybe the 'big' shovel?) and I let him pet and feed the stray Tom that roams around here.
I just remember frequently adventuring by myself from a young age. I recently recounted my Lions CLub injury but Il earned from that and, hell, now I have a story, right?
I just like the idea of a kid learning about the world with out adults putting their own spin on it, you know?
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/31/living/florida-mom-arrested-son-park/index.html?hpt=us_c2
Shit like this is why I'm terrified to let my kids do shit. I do not fear for my kids, I fear for stupid people.
Shit like this is why I'm terrified to let my kids do shit. I do not fear for my kids, I fear for stupid people.
I was not! I SO was not! I was slamming my fist on the table over and over, trying to convince you and the little lady to try yoga! I was going "Yoga! Yoga! Yoga!"
Whether it looked like something of the masturbating variety is open to interpretation.
Just like your prom night?
doomdragon6
Staff member
I'm having to cook 15 bunches of asparagus for a potluck wedding for 60 people. Each recipe bunch is 20 minutes, and I can only go a bunch at a time, so by my estimates, it'll take about 5 hours. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
doomdragon6
Staff member
Also, our baking sheet keeps popping in the oven, once after I've put it in, and once after I've taken it out. It doesn't seem to be a danger so far, but it startles me every single time it does it.
Cajungal
Staff member
@LittleSin I read a really interesting article a few years back about a mother from New York. She defended her decision to let her 10-11 year old son go to the store and come home on the subway alone. She'd taught him about being safe in public--where to go and where to avoid. Though it made me feel nervous as someone who grew up in a really different place, I realized that she was absolutely right. She'd trained him to travel safely around his home, and he had to learn. There were parameters about how far he could travel, etc., but it all sounded very common sense. She said something about how overreported kidnapping is and how many kids get from a to b safely every day. It was a really nice read.
Dave
Staff member
No, you are the mom of the kid who is going to be confident and able to handle himself in a grown up world. The mother of the 14 year old? She'll find herself with a kid living in the basement that is too emotionally and socially stunted to get by on his own.
These people that are demonizing parents who give their kids freedom are buying into the myth that it's more dangerous out there for our kids. It's actually hardly ever been safer, but you'd never know that by reading the news or watching TV.
Fuck those dumbasses. Let them raise their stupid ass kids and then wonder why they can't function as adults in society.
doomdragon6
Staff member
Another minor rant since I am stuck at being able to do nothing for longer than 7-8 minutes at a time:
I'm trying to re-learn how to tie a tie, and I just can't get it with this one tie. Out of curiosity I switched ties and got it perfect the first time. Switch back to first tie. Absolutely can't get it. Wrinkling tie. Frustration nation.
I can't tell the difference or why I can't get this one tie. They're the same length, appear(?) to be similar enough material. The first tie is thinner, but I can't see that making a huge difference. Basically I'ma have to wait til my roommate gets home and shamefully be like "Can you do this fuckin' tie cuz I can't."
Anti-Rant: I found a different baking pan that doesn't pop. It's not quite as ideal, but I'm not afraid it's going to fling hot liquid at me everytime I touch it, so it wins.
I'm trying to re-learn how to tie a tie, and I just can't get it with this one tie. Out of curiosity I switched ties and got it perfect the first time. Switch back to first tie. Absolutely can't get it. Wrinkling tie. Frustration nation.
I can't tell the difference or why I can't get this one tie. They're the same length, appear(?) to be similar enough material. The first tie is thinner, but I can't see that making a huge difference. Basically I'ma have to wait til my roommate gets home and shamefully be like "Can you do this fuckin' tie cuz I can't."
Anti-Rant: I found a different baking pan that doesn't pop. It's not quite as ideal, but I'm not afraid it's going to fling hot liquid at me everytime I touch it, so it wins.
That woman is Lenore Skenazy, who is the author of the blog I linked above (titled Free Range Kids).
--Patrick
Dave
Staff member
Just got a Facebook "poke" from @Officer_Charon. But that's not my rant. Facebook also delivered at that time another poke from a friend of mine named Patrick from a year ago...about the time he died of lung cancer. I mean, I've not thought about him for a while now and I'm through the mourning period, but it's still jarring to get after all this time. Kinda like a letter sent in the mail but lost and then found.
Oh man, I've been there. It's such a weird feeling.
A few weeks go, I searched for something in my email, and the auto-complete pulled up emails from someone that was very close to me that died years ago. I hadn't thought about her in awhile, and seeing her pop up was so strange.
I read every damn email, and cried more than I thought I would. It felt good though, hard to explain.
In a similar sense, sometimes this forum doesn't take me to the latest page of a thread, but instead the first. And some of the popular threads are old enough to have had @North_Ranger post in them.
I also still tag @North_Ranger as if I expect him to be notified...
Cajungal
Staff member
Awesome, glad to know what it was. I've been trying to find it for my sister.
Cajungal
Staff member
The fella's car finally died. We thought it could hold out a few more years after he and his dad fixed it. Bad time to restart graduate school and buy furniture. I know we'll be ok, but damnit, it's another thing. This school year started out with me feeling optimistic and confident. Now I'm shoved into a math class and have a new impending monthly payment. Gah.
Well, with the rats gone, I guess I know that noise in the corner is definitely an intruder rodent.
Which means the mouse is still fucking here.
Dammit.
Which means the mouse is still fucking here.
Dammit.
doomdragon6
Staff member
Kidnap him and integrate him as your new pet?
When I have a hairy moocher in my house, I paid for him, dammit.
In seriousness in case anyone doesn't know, wild rodents and domesticated ones are entirely different breeds with their own sets of behavior. The cuddly friendly rodents in the pet store are nothing like their wild cousins anymore. Putting a wild rodent in a cage does not domesticate it; you just have a wild animal in a cage.
Proofing your point. Not a rodent, just a cat.
But put in a cage and still not a house cat (though only slightly different in that specie's case...).
In a related story, night before last, the youngest cat Gonzo got a mouse. It's the second one we've had - or at least been aware of - in living here for decades, and he's gotten both of them.
doomdragon6
Staff member
My cat has seriously watched a mouse run by, then looked at us and been like, "... The hell was that?"
Additional minor rant: I've only been informed just now, an hour and a half before having to drive people, that I'm one of the drive-to-location escorts to my friends' wedding. Not a big deal, but it was sprung on me last moment. 3 hours of driving people baaaack and forth. XD
Additional minor rant: I've only been informed just now, an hour and a half before having to drive people, that I'm one of the drive-to-location escorts to my friends' wedding. Not a big deal, but it was sprung on me last moment. 3 hours of driving people baaaack and forth. XD
That literally happened with the first mouse. The mouse literally ran into Gadget's haunches, and Gadget just looked like, "Dafuq?" Eventually Gonzo caught and killed it.
Ooh, I would so want to bitch-slap someone for that. Like "Jack Slapping Gavin at RTX" level slapping.
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I feel I've met more cats like this than how cats are supposed to be.
We brought Hermes's remains to the vet, same day as picking up his brother's ashes. Our vet said he didn't want to impose on us, but apparently a local small animal shelter just rescued almost 80 rats from a hoarder situation. While I didn't want to be going to a pet store or a breeder anytime soon, these ones need homes ASAP and it would be doing a good thing to take a couple of them in. Not sure yet, but we'll see. My dad did something similar. His dog of 12 years passed away and I was surprised that he got a rescue dog 2 weeks later, but now I kind of get it.