Be the force that changes your personal family tree. If you have kids one day, be that change. That's how you win.
My mom's side of the family is the most back-stabbing, gossiping freaks. I can understand where you come from. It's hard.
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
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My mom's side of the family is the most back-stabbing, gossiping freaks. I can understand where you come from. It's hard.
This.
My wife believe this to the care.
Family time is very very low on her side.
You're not a piece of trash.
Cajungal
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The fella's side of the family is kind of peppered with xenophobes and anti-intellectuals. I have no idea where he came from or how he's so different. It's probably because he's one of the few readers in his family. My family's got all the anxiety and mental illness.
Yeah, we all have our own hangups, but stewing in ignorance is just something that I can't abide. That makes me an elitist in some groups. What is odd to me is that everyone has to make up their mind about what kind of person they are going to be. I am certainly not perfect. I don't even think that I am a good person. I do my best not to trample on anyone else (which is the least that we could all do); it is the Golden Rule after all.
What bugs me is that there are way too many people who will choose the characteristics of the sort of person they are going to be BUT then once they've settled on something, they will stubbornly cling to that template regardless of outside influence. They will refuse to even entertain the idea that their personality /could possibly/should maybe/ change based on outside influence, and then blindly defend and justify their supposed "ideal" even as the world changes around them, and then later complain that they can't understand what the world is coming to these days and don't understand how it could have happened. They view any suggestion that they change as some form of personal threat/attack to their Self and the fight/flight reflex kicks in.
A plastic mind is a much healthier and happier mind.
--Patrick
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fade
Staff member
So, we adopted two cats last Christmas. They were a brother and sister who had been living in a dumpster for probably 6-8 months. The first few months were fine, but as of the last 3 months or so, the male has been peeing on the furniture every time we leave the house (to be clear, they urinated before that, but that could've been attributed to adjustment, and it wasn't as frequent). He sits and yowls at the door whenever anyone goes out. I have tried a million things and have sunk a lot of money into solving the pee problem. But nothing works. The vet says he's healthy, and that it's behavioral. I think it's clear what's wrong: he was conditioned for outdoor living and he wants it back. He's not ever going to be content inside. His sister has adapted, but he hasn't. This problem also began when the neighborhood strays found him and started communicating through the windows, which drives home my diagnosis even more. Also, he bolts out every time we open the door, and attempts to evade recapture every time. He's friendly to us, but does not want to be inside.
Anyway, my wife is far more frustrated than I am. She wants the male gone. In fact, she'd prefer both gone at this point I think. So she texted me this morning and said she was gone for 30 minutes and the cat peed on the couch. So she let him out intentionally. She said she turned to put out bowls of food and water, and he was gone from sight. I don't like it. I had already posted a craigslist rehoming ad (I had to get rid of a cat once, and he was gone in hours after posting on CL--especially with all vaccinations spaying and neutering).
Anyway, my wife is far more frustrated than I am. She wants the male gone. In fact, she'd prefer both gone at this point I think. So she texted me this morning and said she was gone for 30 minutes and the cat peed on the couch. So she let him out intentionally. She said she turned to put out bowls of food and water, and he was gone from sight. I don't like it. I had already posted a craigslist rehoming ad (I had to get rid of a cat once, and he was gone in hours after posting on CL--especially with all vaccinations spaying and neutering).
fade
Staff member
I was talking to a friend, and she had almost an identical situation, and it concluded the same way. They finally let the cat out and never saw it again. She put it an interesting way: the worst you did was neuter a stray and re-release it. I suspect this cat will never be comfortable indoors.
We have only ever had female cats so I've never had the pleasure. Do they all spray or just the ones that aren't fixed?
Dave
Staff member
Depends on when they were fixed. But in most cases they still do it to mark their territory. Like most male dogs won't lift their legs if you fix them early enough, but they still have the instinct.
I've rehabilitated ferals that never sprayed after they were fixed until another male cat came onto the property, then it was a matter of Mark All the Territory! It didn't stop after the other cats were chased off, so I had to find them new homes as barn cats. They didn't have the quality of life that they would have had if they had stayed in my house but they did have a decent life and it was better than euthanizing them.
@fade, check with your vet or animal shelter to see if there is something similar in your area, just in case he comes back and you can't keep him in your home.
@fade, check with your vet or animal shelter to see if there is something similar in your area, just in case he comes back and you can't keep him in your home.
I dated a guy who refused to neuter his male cat. His reasoning had to do with the cat looking weird without balls. The cat sprayed everywhere including on my suede coat. That relationship did not last very long.
I also adopted a male cat who was about 8 months old and not neutered. I got him "fixed" and never had a problem with spraying. He would occasionally pee on towels I used as a bathmat, but that was easily solved.
I also adopted a male cat who was about 8 months old and not neutered. I got him "fixed" and never had a problem with spraying. He would occasionally pee on towels I used as a bathmat, but that was easily solved.
Y'all have convinced me to never own a cat. Not that I needed that much convincing.
Then I think you're right that he was probably feral enough that being indoors was not going to work out. Like your friend said, you neutered and released a stray which in itself is a good thing.
Even if the cat wasn't spraying you, I'd still be worried that this guy is so concerned about how his cat's balls look.
I know right? I read that and was at a loss for words.
He was very attached to this cat. Yes, it was bizarre. I think I talked about him before on here. He bought a beautiful 2 story home and it was so incredibly dirty. That was bad enough to make me reconsider the relationship, but the real final straw involved the cat. This guy chewed up some food and basically spit it out for the cat to eat. He didn't just take a bite. He chewed it. And when I say he spit it out it wasn't like you'd spit out a watermelon seed. It was more like drooling on the floor on purpose. All I could do is stare in horror. When he noticed, he didn't understand what was wrong. I went back once after that to get a few things I had left behind.
Ok, that's... yeah... glad you didn't get turned into a sweater.
I love my cat Cupcake dearly, but ew. Just ew.
Sorry. Have an emergency unicorn.
fade
Staff member
Man, I love that gif.[DOUBLEPOST=1438346682,1438346383][/DOUBLEPOST]As for the cat.... Keep it as a garden/barn cat, or let him roam free. A lot of cats simply aren't made to live indoors, and I'm sure many of them are happier with space to roam and an outside to lvie in, with possibly a warm spot they can retreat back to in case of need.
fade
Staff member
Followup on the cat. Well, he came back, but he doesn't want to come in. He wants to hang around, get pet, get fed, but not go in the house. I was worried yesterday because he was wide-eyed and panting, which are overheating symptoms. We hit 104 in Houston yesterday, and he's not acclimated to the heat yet. I put a fan out for him, but he ran from it. He has shady places to go and a ton of water. Enough to bathe in if he so chooses.
