that's what he said.
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
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Well you may have noticed I've been gone for about a week. My dad went to the hospital in an ambulance, and then went to quadruple bypass surgery. I took some time off work to visit. He's doing well but I'm worried the bypass is just the latest guess. It was weird for me because I've never seen the old man scared before. Or really in pain like he was the next day. He's improved a good bit now.
And to make matters worse, on Tuesday, I got an email from my boss saying he really needed to call if he could even though I was on vacation. There were "major changes" in the company that I should know about. So, I expected a few people got laid off. After all, the managers had been meeting all day Friday with a cryptic meeting name on the calendar. It was worse. About half the company was laid off. I survived fortunately, though I think I'll start job hunting. The secretary who'd been there since day 1, and the IT manager who was the company founder's son were both laid off. The CEO is stepping down (though I heard that was already planned). We're a private company, but we have three large investors. One pulled out, so the company had to make drastic changes. A lot of our benefits were cut, too, including 401k matching.
And to make matters worse, on Tuesday, I got an email from my boss saying he really needed to call if he could even though I was on vacation. There were "major changes" in the company that I should know about. So, I expected a few people got laid off. After all, the managers had been meeting all day Friday with a cryptic meeting name on the calendar. It was worse. About half the company was laid off. I survived fortunately, though I think I'll start job hunting. The secretary who'd been there since day 1, and the IT manager who was the company founder's son were both laid off. The CEO is stepping down (though I heard that was already planned). We're a private company, but we have three large investors. One pulled out, so the company had to make drastic changes. A lot of our benefits were cut, too, including 401k matching.
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
Googling suicide methods and half of them aren't even applicable to me. No access to guns, can't asphyxiate because there's no access to a garage. And besides, I'm too much of a coward to actually go through with it. If only I could just swallow a bunch of pills or inject something and just go to sleep.
Here's three helpful resources from our friends at /r/suicidewatch:
As for why bother with all of the above... Reading the above will not magically take your ability to commit suicide. The worst we can do is waste some of your time--but you're giving it away already.
- Hotline numbers for pretty much every country represented in this forum, plus links to a few more listings.
- FAQ about what calling a hotline means, what can happen as a result, why it's a good idea to call, etc.
- Useful resources: guides and workbooks for coping with suicidal thoughts, "read this before attempting" essays, and other such things.
As for why bother with all of the above... Reading the above will not magically take your ability to commit suicide. The worst we can do is waste some of your time--but you're giving it away already.
Please call someone. We don't want to lose you.
That's horrible. I'm so sorry to hear that
Cajungal
Staff member
I cannot believe we're continuing with the normal school schedule. Families have lost everything they own. Teachers are ripping out their walls at night and doing lesson plans by day. And on top of everything else one of our teachers' parents is possibly dying as we speak.
I understand the decision. We're in an area that didn't get hit as hard, and they want the children to return to normalcy as soon as possible. But Jesus, man, it all feels a bit cold to me. Even one extra day off would have meant a lot to the people who were affected. Every other school in our area is closed this week. Some people won't even be here tomorrow because they can't safely get out of their neighborhoods.
I understand the decision. We're in an area that didn't get hit as hard, and they want the children to return to normalcy as soon as possible. But Jesus, man, it all feels a bit cold to me. Even one extra day off would have meant a lot to the people who were affected. Every other school in our area is closed this week. Some people won't even be here tomorrow because they can't safely get out of their neighborhoods.
So THAT is why they call you Chippy!
Well, two days into the school year and my son is ALREADY missing accommodations on his IEP, and his special ed case worker completely forgot to do things we talked about. So great. Yay. Terrific. I am totally going to completely lose my shit about it now, because apparently nothing gets done right unless I do. So fucking yay.
"Well, he doesn't have para support right now, and it's hard to get paras into honors classes (because there aren't enough of them smh), but I can check on him in 2 (out of 7) classes to see if he's focusing at the start and end of class, and we can reassess his IEP and add more para time (bullshit) if needed."
FUUUUUUCKING BULLSHIT FUCKING HELL I HATE THE WHOLE SPECIAL ED SYSTEM.
They didn't give him paras off the bat because his IEP from last year said "gen ed" I love how smart kids who need special ed services fall through the cracks. Fuck you education system.
FUUUUUUCKING BULLSHIT FUCKING HELL I HATE THE WHOLE SPECIAL ED SYSTEM.
They didn't give him paras off the bat because his IEP from last year said "gen ed" I love how smart kids who need special ed services fall through the cracks. Fuck you education system.
Well, we have a meeting at school on Tuesday afternoon to talk about "having paras in honors/AP classes", so if you hear about a mother in Colorado having a mental break on Tuesday night, it could very well be me. 
Thankfully my husband can get out of work to come with me, because I need someone else to yell with me.
Thankfully my husband can get out of work to come with me, because I need someone else to yell with me. 
I was stuck behind several cars, and a truck towing a light trailer yesterday. The trailer was doing 55mph in a 75mph zone for well over 20 miles. It seemed the trailer had family following closely. So it was impossible for anyone to pass.
Once the trailer hit four lanes, it sped up to the speed limit.
I was in a pretty complete rage by that time.
Once the trailer hit four lanes, it sped up to the speed limit.
I was in a pretty complete rage by that time.
Good luck!Well, we have a meeting at school on Tuesday afternoon to talk about "having paras in honors/AP classes", so if you hear about a mother in Colorado having a mental break on Tuesday night, it could very well be me.
I am super frustrated by everything still, because any hint at needing support in an honors class is first met with "Well maybe we should put him in a non-honors class." This happens because special ed is underfunded, so the smarter your kid is, the fewer kids there are that need assistance, so it becomes not cost effective to provide it if he's the only one in a class that might need it. And while putting him in a general class is a way to GET him support, it's also a good way to make him bored and less likely to pay attention. I would rather have my kid get Cs because he has a hard time embracing busy work but is actually engaged in learning than have him get As and be bored. That is a hard concept for our society to understand.
Beyond that, what frustrated me a ton was that I had to argue about his accommodation to be allowed to type his assignments instead of hand write them. He took 6 years of fine motor PT to work on specifically handwriting, and he never really progressed beyond kindergarten level. Yet they want to push to get him to "care" about what his handwriting looks like. Please kindly suck it.
Beyond that, since I know he's not going to get para support, but I also know that if he stays engaged with the teacher he will probably focus, I am going to fight my ass off to keep him in his Honors classes. We'll see how things progress.
I enjoy living in a society where special ed is so underfunded that we'd rather throw smart kids that need help to the sharks than actually help them work to their potential. I wish I felt confident that I could homeschool my child at the level he needs. I've said it before, but it is so fucking hard to draw the line between helicopter parenting and fostering independence when you have a child with special needs.
I'm glad he has you as his parent. I understand your frustration, and am glad to see you keep fighting a pretty dysfunctional system. Don't worry too much about the helicopter parenting thing. If anything the schools use that too much against parents in order to get them off their back, but the reality is that he's going to need you more than ever as he deals with an educational system that simply doesn't understand him, know how to work with him, or want to put up with him.
You're doing the right thing, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
You're doing the right thing, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
They tried to say that he will have to advocate for himself once he gets to college, and I immediately said, and right now he's 14, and it's my job to advocate for him while he learns to do it for himself. I am quite frankly amazed I didn't start yelling, but I did almost start crying once when I talked about how frustrating it was to have a smart kid and be told to my face that if he wants services, maybe he's not ready for an honors class.
GasBandit
Staff member
The term "helicopter parent" was originally used to describe parents who followed their kids when they went off to college/university (postsecondary edu), preventing them from becoming adults. It really shouldn't apply to parents of actual children in primary and secondary education.
Thank you for fighting for your kid. I was a "special" kid (excelled at most mental subjects, skipped a grade, and skipped high school), but I needed extra support to help me with basic tasks like how to interact with peers, learning the names and faces of classmates, or handwriting at above-kindergarten speed and legibility. I couldn't have advocated for myself for any of the things I needed, because I didn't think I had a problem.
The whole idea that gifted people are either well-adjusted or hopeless savants is upsetting.
Highschool is a time to teach youth independance, self motivation, and skills associated with time tracking, scheduling, etc.
But if a child is ready to learn calculus, but not ready to learn the above skills, that doesn't mean you hold them back from calculus.
That's like saying you should hold someone back in English if their phys ed scores aren't good enough because they can't do the requisite number of pullups. Completely unrelated, they should be judged separately and taught according to their needs - not some formula that's "good enough" for "the average student".[DOUBLEPOST=1471989915,1471989725][/DOUBLEPOST]
It's not a bad tactic, but you have to address it to the right people - the para professionals and teachers won't be affected by such consequences, but the principle and others on the school board might be.
Half the battle is knowing who to talk to and how to apply the appropriate leverage. The state laws are usually pretty clear, but you still have to pull teeth.
Moving won't help, but the threat of moving might, particularly if you have another child you'd also be pulling out of the district.
But if a child is ready to learn calculus, but not ready to learn the above skills, that doesn't mean you hold them back from calculus.
That's like saying you should hold someone back in English if their phys ed scores aren't good enough because they can't do the requisite number of pullups. Completely unrelated, they should be judged separately and taught according to their needs - not some formula that's "good enough" for "the average student".[DOUBLEPOST=1471989915,1471989725][/DOUBLEPOST]
My mother in law indicated that she often had to threaten to home school her children. The threat was effective because the school needed the money her children brought in from the state.
It's not a bad tactic, but you have to address it to the right people - the para professionals and teachers won't be affected by such consequences, but the principle and others on the school board might be.
Half the battle is knowing who to talk to and how to apply the appropriate leverage. The state laws are usually pretty clear, but you still have to pull teeth.
Moving won't help, but the threat of moving might, particularly if you have another child you'd also be pulling out of the district.
Ooh, here's another thing that set me off. They actually talked about keeping kids in classes they could excel in to BOOST THEIR SELF ESTEEM. Fuck that shit. They used an example of a girl getting straight As, then taking a class that was too hard and doing poorly and feeling bad. It was very gratifying to be able to say, "Yeah, that kid was me. I didn't have the option to push myself so I skated through school until I didn't know how to deal with hard classes because I never had a reason to work hard or study before, and that is not going to happen to my kids." Fuck self esteem in this case. In my opinion, if a kid is getting straight As in everything, they aren't being pushed hard enough. I didn't used to have that opinion, but years of having my own kids in the school system has really changed my perspective.
I remember hearing one of the counselors at the high school tell kids that if they have a grade just a point or three shy of the next level (say they're sitting at a C+ or something) they should talk to the teacher about just bumping it up a level. Not actually asking for extra work to earn it, but just say "hey I know I only earned this C but can we just call it a B?"
GasBandit
Staff member
But at the same time, people who excel in Phys ED might get "free passes" or get asked to get "leniency" when it comes to some other subjects. Which is a completely stupid system if you ask me.
Don't question the SEC... Big 10, Pac 10, ACC, Big XII, etc., etc...
Basically any group that has a stake in profiting from the NCAA's slave labor arrangement will promote athletics.