Rant VIII: The Reckoning
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SOOOOOO, I had a chat with my mom this morning. She apologized and said that she went too far with a lot of what she said. She was trying to rile me up a bit (my mom's a God damn born troll. If she grew up online, she'd be a fucking terror) but didn't know what she said was going to hurt me the way it did.
I'm not going to go into specifics, but it was good. I know my mother better today.
I'm not going to go into specifics, but it was good. I know my mother better today.
It's so tough learning about our parents as grown-ups. I don't know how I would have handled that conversation. My parents are very conservative (both small c and politically) but fortunately the kind that comes with never saying a rude/offensive thing about anyone else - 'meek' I might say, not to imply weakness but a sense of quiet non-judgment. The worst thing my dad has said about Trudeau is that he is "a drama teacher." I'm pretty conservative too, but definitely grew up with more left-leaning friends than they did and I think that's a) moderated me in general and b) prevented me from ever getting sucked into insults about people's dignity over their political alignment.
Idly I wonder what people who say slurs about or make gross/racist generalizations about Jagmeet Singh think of the number of Sikh Indians who vote conservative. Probably imagine they don't exist, I guess.
GasBandit
Staff member
If I had to guess, the opinions probably run from "one of the 'good' ones" to "useful idiots."
Just got a call from my sister. Mom has stopped eating and communicating and is being moved to hospice care. My sister and her husband went to see her yesterday, and she was not looking good.
When the end comes, there will be a Celebration of Life service somewhere down the road once the current COVID situation has settled down. For now, there's nothing I can do, and as I'm just getting over being sick myself, going there isn't the best idea anyway.
When the end comes, there will be a Celebration of Life service somewhere down the road once the current COVID situation has settled down. For now, there's nothing I can do, and as I'm just getting over being sick myself, going there isn't the best idea anyway.
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Additional. My sister had looked at the possibility of combining Mom's and Dad's (who died in 1986) ashes into one of those Cremation Diamonds. But as she investigated further, the more and more it started to look like a scam, in spite of Mark Cuban's involvement in one of the companies. So that idea has been scuttled.
I’m just curious, my whole knowledge is that I read the opening of the wiki and a couple of websites, what was making her think it was a scam?
That whatever carbon present is lost during the cremation process. Certainly not enough left over to form any meaningful "diamond."
Cremains are roughly 2% carbon, and usually about 2-3kgs. 2% of 2kg is 40 grams. I don't know what size diamond your sister was thinking of, but that's plenty to make a diamond out of. Especially since AFAIK they don't actually just compress down the carbon from the ashes into a diamond under high pressure but add in a bunch of factory-made carbonates to help the process along.
I think it's way too expensive and there are probably other ways to make a beautiful keepsake comprising ashes (I dunno, I've always intended my body to go to science), but it's definitely possible.
I kinda feel that way about keeping ashes in general, but I understand the sentiment. But for me, personally, I don't see myself as whatever meat I leave behind. I don't care what happens to my body after death because it won't be me, I'm not there, but if my loved ones want something tangible to attach a memory to... Well, I won't be there to say no so...
This is why I want my body to go to science. I mean, I'm not around to check so do whatever, but my body might as well do something useful at least
Thank god I just Googled that, because the first thing my mind went to is, "...they drop you out of a plane?!?".
"Farmer Davies has lodged a complaint with the ministry. For the third time in a week, a body has fallen from the sky into his sheep pasture."
Yes, and wherever you land is where you are legally required to be buried. Which reminds me, I'm overdue to visit my Grandmother on top of that hangar.
I was told to follow a given policy. And every time I've asked the GM if I was doing it correctly, I was told YES.
So why for the love of fuck is no one else doing it? It's exactly what you told me to do, but you're setting a precedent that gets customers pissed off at me, and then they call to complain to higher ups later. The same higher ups that a) told me to keep doing it, and b) don't bother to follow their own rules.
Even though I apply the policy to everyone as equally as I can, it gets me branded as racist because it affects certain segments more so than others.
So why for the love of fuck is no one else doing it? It's exactly what you told me to do, but you're setting a precedent that gets customers pissed off at me, and then they call to complain to higher ups later. The same higher ups that a) told me to keep doing it, and b) don't bother to follow their own rules.
Even though I apply the policy to everyone as equally as I can, it gets me branded as racist because it affects certain segments more so than others.
Just tried having a conversation with my family doctor about filling out a form for medical leave. For one, he won't do it over the phone, so I need to book an in-person appointment, which will take longer. Two, no answer I gave him was to his satisfaction. I couldn't explain to him why I can't work, or when I tried, he didn't accept any of my answers like severe depression, existential dread, hopelessness, stress of being yelled at by customers. What the fuck do I say? I can't even quit my job because even before the pandemic, there was FUCKING NOTHING FOR ME because I'm a useless piece of shit with no skills who wasted his life doing nothing.
I've been seeing him for 7 years now, ever since I moved to Halifax, and he's said right to my face that he doesn't know what to do for me anymore. He openly admits he's not equipped to help someone with mental health. Nothing works. Nothing has ever fucking worked for me. I keep falling back into this same fucking hole and I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of all of it. But of course, I'm also a fucking coward who can't just kill himself because as much as I want to die and have for years, I am so fucking terrified of dying that I can't do it myself.
I've been seeing him for 7 years now, ever since I moved to Halifax, and he's said right to my face that he doesn't know what to do for me anymore. He openly admits he's not equipped to help someone with mental health. Nothing works. Nothing has ever fucking worked for me. I keep falling back into this same fucking hole and I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of all of it. But of course, I'm also a fucking coward who can't just kill himself because as much as I want to die and have for years, I am so fucking terrified of dying that I can't do it myself.
I understand the frustrating of having a useless doctor. I also know the frustration of having no other local choices. Do you know if Canada has something like teladoc? At least here it's a doctor service over the phone, and it's who I turned to for stuff like my ssri prescription because my doctor was useless in filling it
For what it's worth - I go here (no dr referal technically needed, though it may make things go faster, I don't know)
Adult Community Mental Health and Addictions Services
To access this service, please call the Intake Service at 1-855-922-1122.
Cobequid Community Health Centre
902-865-3663
40 Freer Lane
Lower Sackville, NS
I'm in regular contact with my case manager, and if things start to go very sideways, I have access to an actual psychiatrist. And they do phone appointments, which has been invaluable.
Also, if you're on the list for 'looking for a GP' (which you can be on,even if you have a GP), you can access VirtualCareNS, which may be a worthwhile alternative.
And finally, attempting to be helpful aside, I'm sorry your doc is being a twit and that your brain is too. Employment stresses suck horribly, and not being able to get help or support is utterly draining.
I'm half tempted to take a break from social media. I keep getting into stupid arguments with assholes who I just wind up blocking.
Just now, for example, I had recently vented about being unable to get the Criterion Channel or Shudder on my TV through the devices I have (Samsung Smart TV & PS4). Oh, you get sign up for Shudder individually and watch it on smart devices. OR you can get it through Prime (which you'd have to pay for on top of that).
And this asshole pops into my mentions on Twitter and starts explaining "Oh, well, you get get it on a Chromecast or a Fire Stick..." and I said no, that's my issue. I don't WANT to get a whole different device just to watch one or two apps on it. If the devices I have are capable of downloading apps or streaming videos, then there is absolutely no sane reason why I shouldn't be able to get them. Especially when other apps like Netflix, Prime, and Disney+ and others ARE available on my devices. I'm well aware that I COULD go out and buy whatever gimmick and stick it in my TV, but I shouldn't HAVE to.
And yet this guy just kept arguing with me about it. "Oh, well, you can get Shudder through Prime." BUT YOU HAVE TO SIGN UP FOR PRIME FIRST, and I don't often use Prime. I subscribe to it once in a blue moon because there isn't enough regular content on there worth getting it for. And he kept going on about "Oh, well, it's easier to program on an Xbox than a Samsung Smart TV or a PS4 and..."
I. DON'T. CARE. That's not my fucking point. My point is that it's a consumerism/capitalism problem. My fucking point is that you need a goddamn flow chart these days for media. What device or app can let you access this, that, or other thing. Modern technology should make things easier, but I would argue it's worse now than it was with just cable and a local video store or something. Sure, you have more options, but it's frustrating just figuring out what you can watch it on and where. Especially in Canada where CRTC regulations or media giants like Rogers and Bell have a stranglehold on things. So I don't get HBO Max, for example, but I can get SOME of its content through Crave. When I was still a wrestling fan, I was interested in getting the WWE app. But in Canada, you can't just sign up for it on a website like Netflix. In Canada, you HAVE to get it through a providers like Bell, Rogers, etc. THEN you can get the app.
And it's that runaway bullshit that I'm so sick of. I would love, LOVE to just hunker down on the couch and jump onto the Criterion Channel app and watch some awesome classic movies. But with the devices I have, I can't. And it's so goddamn frustrating.
Just now, for example, I had recently vented about being unable to get the Criterion Channel or Shudder on my TV through the devices I have (Samsung Smart TV & PS4). Oh, you get sign up for Shudder individually and watch it on smart devices. OR you can get it through Prime (which you'd have to pay for on top of that).
And this asshole pops into my mentions on Twitter and starts explaining "Oh, well, you get get it on a Chromecast or a Fire Stick..." and I said no, that's my issue. I don't WANT to get a whole different device just to watch one or two apps on it. If the devices I have are capable of downloading apps or streaming videos, then there is absolutely no sane reason why I shouldn't be able to get them. Especially when other apps like Netflix, Prime, and Disney+ and others ARE available on my devices. I'm well aware that I COULD go out and buy whatever gimmick and stick it in my TV, but I shouldn't HAVE to.
And yet this guy just kept arguing with me about it. "Oh, well, you can get Shudder through Prime." BUT YOU HAVE TO SIGN UP FOR PRIME FIRST, and I don't often use Prime. I subscribe to it once in a blue moon because there isn't enough regular content on there worth getting it for. And he kept going on about "Oh, well, it's easier to program on an Xbox than a Samsung Smart TV or a PS4 and..."
I. DON'T. CARE. That's not my fucking point. My point is that it's a consumerism/capitalism problem. My fucking point is that you need a goddamn flow chart these days for media. What device or app can let you access this, that, or other thing. Modern technology should make things easier, but I would argue it's worse now than it was with just cable and a local video store or something. Sure, you have more options, but it's frustrating just figuring out what you can watch it on and where. Especially in Canada where CRTC regulations or media giants like Rogers and Bell have a stranglehold on things. So I don't get HBO Max, for example, but I can get SOME of its content through Crave. When I was still a wrestling fan, I was interested in getting the WWE app. But in Canada, you can't just sign up for it on a website like Netflix. In Canada, you HAVE to get it through a providers like Bell, Rogers, etc. THEN you can get the app.
And it's that runaway bullshit that I'm so sick of. I would love, LOVE to just hunker down on the couch and jump onto the Criterion Channel app and watch some awesome classic movies. But with the devices I have, I can't. And it's so goddamn frustrating.
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THERE it is. Yes, thank you. If only it were obvious to more people.
What adds to the frustration is the fact that they keep trading content. So not only do you need a flowchart to see where to find something NOW, in another 6mo to a year you're going to need a whole new flowchart to find out where everything that got traded back and forth ended up.
--Patrick
Yep. And it's frustrating if you want to watch something very specific. Like, if you hear someone talking about a particular movie and then you have to try finding it. Worse when it's part of a series. Awhile back, I went through the Jurassic Park movies. Watched 1-3 I think on Prime because I was subscribed to it at the time (for Invincible). Then tried finding the first Jurassic World. Wasn't on Prime. Wasn't on Netflix. It wasn't streaming anywhere. Oh, Jurassic World 2 was on Netflix, but not the first.
And it's shit like that that makes it so frustrating. It's probably why I still buy physical media because god knows if a movie I like will still be available 6 months from now.
I can't remember who, but someone point out how modern the streaming choices are. First you have all the exclusive content that's taking over like Stranger Things or The Boys, which takes up space over older stuff. But they specifically pointed out how difficult it is to find movies from before the 70s or 80s. Unless it's a famous classic, good luck finding it. And they're right. Sure there are some TV channels like TCM or Silver Screen Classics, but then you need a cable service.
I know you don't want yet another service, but as far as classic films go, people should check out Kanopy: https://www.kanopy.com/
It's free with any public library card, and you can stream all sorts of classic movies, and the odd new one (usually documentaries and indie films).
Edit: It looks like it's not just Canada, so everyone check it out!
Oh neat, I think I've heard of it. And I just checked and it's available on my smart TV. Thanks! Don't know how much use it'll get, but at least it's an option and it's free.
It's surprisingly robust, hopefully it can scratch a few classics off your list! Def won't have Jurassic World thoughOh neat, I think I've heard of it. And I just checked and it's available on my smart TV. Thanks! Don't know how much use it'll get, but at least it's an option and it's free.
Doesn't seem to know a lot of European libraries. Not much of a surprise there
Heh, no, I wouldn't expect it does. But you're right, it is surprisingly robust. It even has a small selection of Criterion branded movies, like Seven Samurai, 8 1/2, and Bicycle Thieves. Only about a dozen by my count, but that's still something! Some Romero zombie flicks, and other stuff like Teeth and Hard Candy. I just skimmed and added some stuff to my watch list, but I'm already impressed. Yeah, this great! Thank you again.It's surprisingly robust, hopefully it can scratch a few classics off your list! Def won't have Jurassic World though
I do notice you're limited to watching 5 per month. Which, honestly, for a free service through the library? That's more than fair for this selection.
Heh, I "legally obtain" plenty of stuff. The issue it finagling with technology to watch it in the comfort of my living room. Either I could link an HDMI cord to my laptop (which also involves moving files over from my desktop to my laptop) or I can use my Steam Link in desktop mode, which works but it's also a little inconvenient to set up.
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It's got Lost World (1925) which makes up for it.It's surprisingly robust, hopefully it can scratch a few classics off your list! Def won't have Jurassic World though
I hate to be that guy, but every year the Secret Santa thread is a harsh reminder of just how miserable my existence actually is. Boss knows and admits I've more than earned that raise, but still won't give it to me. And this paycheck is missing ALL my overtime, close to 30 hours of it..
If I had the means, I'd leave this job and this shithole of a state far, FAR behind.
So no, I won't be participating. Again.
If I had the means, I'd leave this job and this shithole of a state far, FAR behind.
So no, I won't be participating. Again.