Rant VIII: The Reckoning
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http://nickpiers.wordpress.com/2013/07/19/bullying-social-injustice/
My new counsellor pointed out a link between how I get upset remembering all the bullying I endured when I was younger...and the passion I have for social injustice. I can't believe I'd never realized the link before, but I wrote about it on my blog today.
My new counsellor pointed out a link between how I get upset remembering all the bullying I endured when I was younger...and the passion I have for social injustice. I can't believe I'd never realized the link before, but I wrote about it on my blog today.
I poured my time and energy into a lengthy and heartfelt email about a complicated subject, asking my parents for feedback and...
"It is complicated.... can't respond now... talk later...." from one, and nothing from the other.
It's been... well, long enough that I don't think I'm ever getting a response without re-sending it and being like "Remember this?" and the process will probably just repeat.
Sigh.
:\
"It is complicated.... can't respond now... talk later...." from one, and nothing from the other.
It's been... well, long enough that I don't think I'm ever getting a response without re-sending it and being like "Remember this?" and the process will probably just repeat.
Sigh.
:\
Cajungal
Staff member
Can you call them instead?
Sort of? I can go there in person, even, easily. But, here's what I was hoping: I found a personal post by someone that talks very specifically about an issue that has been contentious in our family's past. I was curious about their thoughts, and wrote up a sincere response of my own. I asked that they think about it and respond, and it's not personal like... they've been thrown into some spiral of bad memories or anything dramatic like that. Just a 'controversial' topic. And I'd like their thoughts in writing. They never respond to my long emails with anything more than one or two sentences, and seldom do they ask questions, I feel like maybe they don't take me seriously sometimes. And my dad is definitely a busy person, but my mother is basically just... home all day, retired.
And they know it bothers me that they don't answer more to how I'd like, and I understand that email isn't as native a communication to them as it is to me, so i have long accepted it's a one-way conversation avenue. I use it to talk about my life, me, thoughts I have on everything from politics to dragonfly wings... They like the emails, but like I said, don't usually give much response. But this is the only time I have ever specifically asked for a response, and they didn't do so then, either.
It's tough in person or over the phone because of conversational styles that don't... mesh. If my mother dislikes a topic, she leaves and finds something to do or read. My dad starts talking over people he disagrees with until they acquiesce or he gets angry and decides the conversation is over (and insists he's not angry). I love a good debate with my dad, but on some topics, there's no debate. He's right, that's it. Now in this instance, I don't even want a debate, I just want my opinion known, and I want to learn their opinions. I thought in writing would be perfect. He couldn't cut me off for having the 'wrong' opinion: it's all written there, and he'd have the distance of thought and text to express his opinion. My mother is the greater challenge because obviously just ignoring an email is even easier than getting up from the table to do dishes or read.
So I guess I just had hope that a different kind of email (my usual emails are about life, the universe and everything, not soliciting opinions or debates), with a different goal might get a response. I guess maybe I'm not so much frustrated with them as I am let down from the level of expectation I had. "Here's something new, something we haven't tried! We might bond over this, have an easier time being heard this way!"
I was wrong, and I guess I just feel like that sucks. I care what they think about this; hell, they're my mom and dad, I care what they think in general even if I don't agree![DOUBLEPOST=1374531657][/DOUBLEPOST]And yes, I know. I am a long-winded person. I've never been good at being concise. It shows even in that above explanation. Sometimes people feel daunted by that, as though their response must be as long or something, which isn't my intention, but I can appreciate how they might feel. So I don't know. Maybe it was just a good idea with the wrong people.
No, I realise you're right, of course.
I think I'm mostly frustrated with myself for... feeling optimistic about it? That sounds silly.
You know, where there's that line, where it's okay to hope for things, but if you go to far, any aberration from that hope feels like crushing defeat? I basically did that. It stopped being hope and started being "All things must go according to plan or ... " and there was no or. No contingency, just 'Ah, oh. Oops. This... has made me sad.' You have to not cross the line or have a contingency. I did not do those things.
I'm kinda following Stienman on this, that he makes some good points.
Keep in mind, especially with older generation like you are describing (honestly this tech stuff is still very "new" and it can be intimidating) see the written response as being "permanent." If you set it to paper it is forever and always there to be criticized and torn apart. Even on sensitive subjects I can talk to my Mom about it, but try to get her to write it down.... ain't happenin'. There is just some block there (she's about the same age as your Mom from your discription) that we've decided is probably from school.
I'm not saying that's the issue, but just trying to get some info to ya, and give you something to think about.
I'm not sure that's the case. I suspect not, but, maybe. It's something to think about, as you say. I present myself much better in writing than in speech. My mother's a former teacher, so I assume she feels more comfortable speaking, but of late she doesn't want to talk about anything that might have two sides. Always the diplomat, I'm used to my mom being a negotiator. That's changed lately. I don't know why.
As for my father, I think... he is busy and has priorities that I may think are ill-sorted, but that's his deal.
Somebody copy/pasted one of my blog tutorial series onto their own blog without giving me credit. I can tell it was copy/pasted because the links to the previous tutorials are STILL IN THE POSTS!
I never would have known if someone hadn't sent me an email to let me know about it after they found it. On one hand, I'm sorta flattered someone felt it was good enough to repost on their site. On the other, the butt-much didn't even bother to say "Got this at Scratchbuilt 40k" or anything, just posted it as if he had done the work.
Ok, now I'm annoyed after writing that.
I never would have known if someone hadn't sent me an email to let me know about it after they found it. On one hand, I'm sorta flattered someone felt it was good enough to repost on their site. On the other, the butt-much didn't even bother to say "Got this at Scratchbuilt 40k" or anything, just posted it as if he had done the work.
Ok, now I'm annoyed after writing that.
sue his god damn pants off, IP infringement is big money!
Ah, losing their conservative numbers, eh? Go with the RIAA moderate, which says he's owed roughly twice as much money as exists on earth.
And burn half his face!
I want to send this to him so he can post it on his blog too...
figmentPez
Staff member
FINE, I'LL FUCKING RANT HERE. If anyone has a problem with it, you can print out my post, fold it until it's all sharp corners, and shove it up whichever one of your orifices will cause you the most pain.
I like the webcomic Nimoma, it's pretty cool. However, the author, GingerHaze recently made this absurd rant. Here are some select quotes:
"The truth of the matter is that it is INCREDIBLY HARD to live as an honest-to-god misandrist."
Are you fucking kidding me? People hate anything and everything in this world, and are incredibly successful at it. There are a boatload of misanthropes in the world, despite the fact that you'd think that a world revolving around human interaction would require people to like one another. NOPE, it is perfectly possible to be fairly successful in many fields of life while harboring a deep-seated hatred for the rest of mankind. It's also possible to act in a misanthropic way, without actually hating people, as well. So, if it's possible to hate people in general, then it's certainly possible to hate just men.
"there ARE women who legitimately hate men.... That number is so incredibly small as to really not count at all in the grand scheme of things. Any scientific survey taken of that number would not really factor it at all into the final report - in the grand scheme, it’s a fluke."
And this statement made right after making a strawman claim of her own. First, I sincerely doubt the number of true misandrists is any lesser than the number of true misogynists. Second, and this is the important point, one doesn't have to be a completely mis-whatever to have their actions be harmful to another group. Just as men can take actions that discriminate against women, without actually hating women themselves, so too can women take actions that discriminate against men, without hating men themselves (and all sorts of variations of men being awful to men, women being awful to women, robots hating lizards, books hating movies, etc.)
" 99.9% of “misandrists" you will see - especially on the INTERNET for chrissakes - are JOKING. Can’t you take a joke? Men have no sense of humor, do they!"
AH! So when women say "I hate all men", it's a funny joke poking fun at how awful men are. Yeah, I'm not seeing why treating men horribly as a joke makes it any more acceptable? Because, quite frankly, when a certain English professor at my college fails male students, simply because they're male, that's not a joke, and it's not funny. It's misandry, and institutionalized misandry at that. It's real, it exists, and it's bullshit that "feminists" are claiming it doesn't exist.
"MISANDRY ISN’T REAL. That is, there is no social institution in place to enforce it."
Yeah, tell that to tenured college professors who are using their positions of authority to discriminate against men. If such action is taking place at a community college in Texas, you can damn well be sure it's taking place in other states, and in more liberally leaning schools. Or have you forgotten that education is a huge tool in changing the balance of power?
"See what I did there? I made a joke at the expense of men. Misandry! Does that affect your life? Not really. Because the joke depends on the fact that, hey, in every other situation that’s what people say about women! That’s right! EVERY OTHER SITUATION. "
No, women are not the butt of that joke in every other situation. That is unwarranted hyperbole, and it just makes you look like an ass. As a man who has been openly mocked by both men and women this month because of my body image issues; I'm pretty damn sure that men get told "it's a joke, can't you take a joke". You know what, GingerHaze, you're bordering on using your fanbase as a tool to bully your opponents.
Fuck, I like reading Nimona, but I really hate supporting such an angry little asshat.
I like the webcomic Nimoma, it's pretty cool. However, the author, GingerHaze recently made this absurd rant. Here are some select quotes:
"The truth of the matter is that it is INCREDIBLY HARD to live as an honest-to-god misandrist."
Are you fucking kidding me? People hate anything and everything in this world, and are incredibly successful at it. There are a boatload of misanthropes in the world, despite the fact that you'd think that a world revolving around human interaction would require people to like one another. NOPE, it is perfectly possible to be fairly successful in many fields of life while harboring a deep-seated hatred for the rest of mankind. It's also possible to act in a misanthropic way, without actually hating people, as well. So, if it's possible to hate people in general, then it's certainly possible to hate just men.
"there ARE women who legitimately hate men.... That number is so incredibly small as to really not count at all in the grand scheme of things. Any scientific survey taken of that number would not really factor it at all into the final report - in the grand scheme, it’s a fluke."
And this statement made right after making a strawman claim of her own. First, I sincerely doubt the number of true misandrists is any lesser than the number of true misogynists. Second, and this is the important point, one doesn't have to be a completely mis-whatever to have their actions be harmful to another group. Just as men can take actions that discriminate against women, without actually hating women themselves, so too can women take actions that discriminate against men, without hating men themselves (and all sorts of variations of men being awful to men, women being awful to women, robots hating lizards, books hating movies, etc.)
" 99.9% of “misandrists" you will see - especially on the INTERNET for chrissakes - are JOKING. Can’t you take a joke? Men have no sense of humor, do they!"
AH! So when women say "I hate all men", it's a funny joke poking fun at how awful men are. Yeah, I'm not seeing why treating men horribly as a joke makes it any more acceptable? Because, quite frankly, when a certain English professor at my college fails male students, simply because they're male, that's not a joke, and it's not funny. It's misandry, and institutionalized misandry at that. It's real, it exists, and it's bullshit that "feminists" are claiming it doesn't exist.
"MISANDRY ISN’T REAL. That is, there is no social institution in place to enforce it."
Yeah, tell that to tenured college professors who are using their positions of authority to discriminate against men. If such action is taking place at a community college in Texas, you can damn well be sure it's taking place in other states, and in more liberally leaning schools. Or have you forgotten that education is a huge tool in changing the balance of power?
"See what I did there? I made a joke at the expense of men. Misandry! Does that affect your life? Not really. Because the joke depends on the fact that, hey, in every other situation that’s what people say about women! That’s right! EVERY OTHER SITUATION. "
No, women are not the butt of that joke in every other situation. That is unwarranted hyperbole, and it just makes you look like an ass. As a man who has been openly mocked by both men and women this month because of my body image issues; I'm pretty damn sure that men get told "it's a joke, can't you take a joke". You know what, GingerHaze, you're bordering on using your fanbase as a tool to bully your opponents.
Fuck, I like reading Nimona, but I really hate supporting such an angry little asshat.
Hey figmentPez , I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I suggest you take a little break from Tumblr for a while. As someone who follows you here and there, it seems to be causing you a lot of stress lately. 
figmentPez
Staff member
The problem is I like a lot of what I see from various people on Tumblr. I was all set to unfollow some select few who post troublesome stuff, but then I get this rant from GingerHaze, out of the blue, and I only follow her so I know when Nimona updates!Hey figmentPez , I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I suggest you take a little break from Tumblr for a while. As someone who follows you here and there, it seems to be causing you a lot of stress lately.
GasBandit
Staff member
I have to say, I can agree with Pez's sentiment that the original source material is yet another tiresome quasifeminist rant of the sort that has become so fashionable these days, that paints all men as either soul-crushing oppressors, rapists, or both while simultaneously insisting women are ever unquestionable in their motives or actions.
The thing is, at this point it feels like one more drop in a bucket. I guess it affects Pez more profoundly because it was made by someone whose work he respected.
On the other hand, hey, maybe we found Tatsuya Ishida's "Yoko Ono" who inspired him to ruin Sinfest!
The thing is, at this point it feels like one more drop in a bucket. I guess it affects Pez more profoundly because it was made by someone whose work he respected.
On the other hand, hey, maybe we found Tatsuya Ishida's "Yoko Ono" who inspired him to ruin Sinfest!
Glad I reviewed this before I posted... Pez, want you to know that this is not an attack on you, man. Simply on the whole system of things that's gotten you so down.
Ahem.
Seriously, how fucking hard is it to simply treat folks in a manner consistent with how we'd like to be treated ourselves. What is so fucking hard about this?
None of this "privilege" bullshit. No misogyny, no misandry.... this ain't fucking rocket surgery.
For Chrissakes... there are far more worthy things to get worked up over than perceived slights in someone's choice of words.
Ahem.
Seriously, how fucking hard is it to simply treat folks in a manner consistent with how we'd like to be treated ourselves. What is so fucking hard about this?
None of this "privilege" bullshit. No misogyny, no misandry.... this ain't fucking rocket surgery.
For Chrissakes... there are far more worthy things to get worked up over than perceived slights in someone's choice of words.
Right! Turn the fire hoses on him!!
Hey look, it's another decent-looking TARDIS ring. And a spiffy looking Metroid ring. Huh, lots of neat geek rings lately.
You know what's hard to find? A decent fucking Green Lantern ring, a superhero whose power is based on a goddamned ring. They're all either cheap looking or huge.
Look at this ring. It's smooth. It's clean. It's discrete. It's gorgeous. Where the hell is this ring?
You know what's hard to find? A decent fucking Green Lantern ring, a superhero whose power is based on a goddamned ring. They're all either cheap looking or huge.
Look at this ring. It's smooth. It's clean. It's discrete. It's gorgeous. Where the hell is this ring?
What is gorilla glass?
figmentPez
Staff member
The best GL ring designs I've seen are from Arroba Silver.[DOUBLEPOST=1374762474][/DOUBLEPOST]
It's a shatter and scratch resistant glass used in some cellphone screens.