The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
And I'm still and active internet user!
figmentPez
Staff member
So, Bill Amend ordered something online and the package is a lot heavier than it should be.
Who wants to tell him he needs to call the FBI and turn himself in for helping to ship drugs around the country?
Dude, if I HAD a sexytime playlist, I would...
I have had friends with poodles, and they would never ever dye their dogs. This idea is both absolutely bizarre and incredibly awesome.
So...huh.
My husband left for work today with out his wallet for the simple reason that the fucking thinking had apparently vanished from the face of the earth. I was tasked with finding it. I tossed the entire house looking for it only to come up empty.
I was getting frustrated, so when my husband called (shortly after Jet had gone to bed) to inquire about my progress I got rather snippy. We started to argue about it when I heard a rather loud thump from the dining area. I looked over and there was the wallet.
I cleaned off the table myself earlier in the day. It was bare, nothing but polished wood...yet there was the wallet. Dead center. I tell myhusband this. He has a lugh, calls us both blind and he hangs up. I'm baffled but I go to reach for it to put it in the sofa table drawer.
That's when the cat jumped on top of the table and started hissing at me. He had never done that before so I backed off, startled. THEN the TV turned on and went to the only mode that gives me static.
I'm still trying to process this when the front foor blows open scattering leaves from outside every where.
I don't believe in ghosts but...WHAT THE FUCK?!
My husband left for work today with out his wallet for the simple reason that the fucking thinking had apparently vanished from the face of the earth. I was tasked with finding it. I tossed the entire house looking for it only to come up empty.
I was getting frustrated, so when my husband called (shortly after Jet had gone to bed) to inquire about my progress I got rather snippy. We started to argue about it when I heard a rather loud thump from the dining area. I looked over and there was the wallet.
I cleaned off the table myself earlier in the day. It was bare, nothing but polished wood...yet there was the wallet. Dead center. I tell myhusband this. He has a lugh, calls us both blind and he hangs up. I'm baffled but I go to reach for it to put it in the sofa table drawer.
That's when the cat jumped on top of the table and started hissing at me. He had never done that before so I backed off, startled. THEN the TV turned on and went to the only mode that gives me static.
I'm still trying to process this when the front foor blows open scattering leaves from outside every where.
I don't believe in ghosts but...WHAT THE FUCK?!
If it turns out that Jet is some kinda magical mutant I will be the proudest mother on the block.
As long as it's you, Shego. I trust no one else to teach him the way of TRUE villainy.
Also, don't off me just so you can have protégé. We cool?
2 meters is the size of an average basketball player.
Added at: 10:13
O_O
North_Ranger
Staff member
@fade: Two meters is roughly the equivalent of 6'4'' if memory serves me, so no, that's not the size of an average man. Unless you're in Texas, if a Texan exchange student I resently met is to be believed.
@LittleSin: If Jet starts exhibiting powers over ice, cold-based powers or a penchant for swinging two-handed items, send him my way. I'll make him a hero that makes Thor look like an asthmatic little girl.
Or, you know, healing powers... for obvious reasons...
@LittleSin: If Jet starts exhibiting powers over ice, cold-based powers or a penchant for swinging two-handed items, send him my way. I'll make him a hero that makes Thor look like an asthmatic little girl.
Or, you know, healing powers... for obvious reasons...
...Okay. This reminds me of another thing that happened recently.New fun things I've found for LittleSin!
I was cleaning our bed room and part of those duties, besides the obvious straightening of clothing and washing of bed sheets, it reorganizing 'the drawer'. What is 'the drawer'? It's a small collection of extremely pleasurable objects that we keep in the bed side table. My goal was to make everything easy to get at when your fumbling in the dark.
Any ways, Jet was with me while I was doing this. I paid him no mind. He was busy playing with his trucks on the floor and he had no idea what the items were anyway. I get to the part where I feel like I should disinfect everything REALLY good so I get up to go grab the rubbing alcohol.
I return, bottle in hand, to the sound of giggling and buzzing. Jet it smiling, holding a small vibrating bullet in his hand. I stare. He laugh and rubs it over his cheeks.
"Jet shave!" He exclaims, bouncing on my bed. "Mommy razor!"
Several thoughts flash through my head as I try to choose my reacting. I pick the calm and laughing one, not wanting to freak the little guy out and mess him up for life. I pried the thing from his little hands and place it back in the drawer. I then distracted him with another truck.
Our toys are now on a shelf in our closet, much to my husband chagrin.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Now THAT's material worthy of telling when Jet brings home a girlfriend 
But womp = wimp, it's clearly a small animal!
BananaHands
Staff member
Of course once Jet is old enough to know what that was... he is going to have one of those "Silkwood Shower Scenes."