The Super Dooper Canadian Thread (now with 47% more Canadian Bacon)

Some real greasy cockrags are counterfeiting money in our city. But being greasy cockrags, they're not counterfeiting Canadian money, that's near impossible. They're counterfeiting American money, which is harder for us to spot. I keep telling folks, Reagan ain't on the $50 USD, he's on the $100.
Our butter no longer melts at room temperature! We demand a full inquiry!
Yeah, that this is continuing to be a thing is the most Canadian dumbshit ever. Yes, they should absolutely stop using palm oil because of what an environmental disaster palm oil is (on top of the environmental disaster cattle farming in general is) no matter how much they improve cattle health (which they do apparently) but fuck, if your butter being a little stiffer is such a problem, fucking nuke it for 9 seconds. It's soft now.
raisins get a bad rap. They're fine. They're just really disappointing when what you're expecting is a chocolate chip.

But when we're talking butter tarts the only acceptable thing to garnish it with is a pecan.