The Super Dooper Canadian Thread (now with 47% more Canadian Bacon)

This is of course the municipal governments response to combat the giant child eating Christmas tree, which was of course brought in to deal with the giant oyster, that ran amuck after the ill timed October Oyster Fest of 2005.
 
Nestled between Canada's second favourite rectangle and New China lies the province of Alberta. Known for its majestic beauty and out Texasing Texas, it is a corrupt wasteland of striking beauty. Their tranquility of right-wing oppression today was shattered when laborers from the Maritimes rose up in rebellion after being served their treasured regional food, a donair had been tainted with lettuce.

The rebellion, now known as the "Donair Uprising," has taken the province of Alberta by surprise, as the region is not typically known for large-scale protests. The Maritimes, a group of eastern provinces in Canada, are known for their strong cultural traditions and close-knit communities. These seasonal workers, who travel thousands of miles to work in Alberta during peak agricultural seasons, have always found comfort in the taste of their cherished donairs—a mouth-watering combination of spiced meat and special sauce wrapped in warm pita bread. However, the recent addition of lettuce to the beloved dish has sparked outrage among the workers, who consider it an affront to their culinary heritage and a blatant disregard for their preferences.

The rebellion began with peaceful protests outside the establishments that served the modified donairs, but tensions quickly escalated as the workers' demands were met with indifference by the local authorities. Soon, these once peaceful demonstrations transformed into heated clashes between the protesters and the police, leaving the streets of Alberta's towns and cities fraught with tension and unrest.

The donair, a symbol of the Maritimes' cultural identity, has become the focal point of a broader struggle for recognition and respect. The seasonal workers argue that their contributions to Alberta's agricultural industry are often overlooked, and the forced change in their traditional food feels like a further dismissal of their presence and significance in the province.

In response to the uprising, the Alberta government has convened emergency talks with representatives from the Maritimes and other concerned parties to find a resolution to the escalating crisis. However, finding a middle ground that satisfies both the demands of the workers and the interests of local businesses has proven to be a daunting task.

The rebellion has also sparked debates across the country about the rights of seasonal workers and the importance of preserving cultural heritage, even when far from one's home region. Solidarity rallies have been held in various cities across Canada, with supporters advocating for fair treatment and cultural preservation.

While the initial trigger for the rebellion might appear trivial to some, it represents a deeper issue of cultural sensitivity and recognition of the seasonal workers' contributions. As the situation continues to unfold, many are hoping that a peaceful resolution can be achieved—one that acknowledges the value of diversity and respects the cultural identities of all Canadians.

In the meantime, Alberta remains a province divided, grappling with the repercussions of a rebellion that began with a tainted donair but has come to symbolize much more. The province's serene reputation has been shaken, and its leaders are faced with the challenge of fostering understanding and unity among its diverse population. The "Donair Uprising" serves as a poignant reminder that even seemingly minor actions can have significant consequences and that cultural pride and heritage should be cherished and respected by all.

 
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Wow the bidding is up over $10,000 now. For a donair mascot costume. At this rate Alberta will make money off the dang thing.

TLDR Alberta government for some reason buys Donair mascot costume. Decides to sell it after it is no longer needed. Bidding war erupts between those that want to righteously destroy the abomination and those that want to use it to inflict pain and suffering.
 
The government of India has advised its citizens not to travel to Canada due to the risk of being assassinated upon arrival there. This is in response to the government of Canada asking the government of India to stop assassinating people on Canadian soil.
 
Jesus Christ.

President Zelensky is visiting Canada and was invited to parliament. The Speaker fetted him suitably but of their own accord invited heroes of Ukraine to be honoured as well.

Including someone after 3 fucking seconds of googling was revealed to be a member of the SS.
 
American thanksgiving is a bit spurious (though I'm not gonna complain about a 4 day weekend) but having a holiday to celebrate the discovery of the northwest passage is the most "ah fuck it we just want a holiday this time of year, what happened then" I've ever heard.
 
Quiet, you. I'll take a day off to celebrate the election of Trudeau's second cousin twice-removed on his father's aunt's side, I don't care. I took a day off to look sad when the Queen passed and I'll take another one when Chuckles kicks the bucket.
 

Dave

Staff member
Quiet, you. I'll take a day off to celebrate the election of Trudeau's second cousin twice-removed on his father's aunt's side, I don't care. I took a day off to look sad when the Queen passed and I'll take another one when Chuckles kicks the bucket.
Which by the looks of his sausage fingers could be any day!
 
This is Tamara Lich.

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She's a far right monster that is one of the organizers of THE FREEDOM CONVOY up here in Canada.

And as I learned today, my cousin, which after looking at her, of course she is, she looks like every female member of my mom's family.

Fuck my genepool needs bleach.
 
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Holy fuck bud, noway I'm heading to MicMac to fight all those posing instagrammies fer sum chinese sporting goods at Robin Leach prices for fucksake. But for shur a roasted pigs head washed up on shore over by the smoke stacks and ain't it all the buzz at Tims.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Holy fuck bud, noway I'm heading to MicMac to fight all those posing instagrammies fer sum chinese sporting goods at Robin Leach prices for fucksake. But for shur a roasted pigs head washed up on shore over by the smoke stacks and ain't it all the buzz at Tims.
Uh uhhh! Knick Knack Paddy Whack!
 
As a former British Columbian, former Albertan, former Saskatchewanian, former Ontarian, former Newfie, and current Nova Scotian... ya. I see no lies here.
 
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