Have you ever had to deal with a utility company that's allergic to collecting money? It's a giant pain in the ass. I swear my water company is allergic to accepting payments. They don't accept payments over the phone, they don't accept checks at their office (only money orders), and they have an online payment system that they don't administer themselves, so they can't help you with the system if they - say, just for shits and giggles - can't tell you what last name they put on your account. So, when you sign up for service, you have to meet with them in their office so they can explain to you in person in their nice quiet little waiting area on their nice not-too-comfy little furniture that the best way for you to pay your bill is online because they're really trying to take advantage of the current technologies. You go to their website, you print off the application form (yes... print it off and fill it out), and take it to their office with valid photo ID. If you're married, both spouses have to go, with both valid photo IDs. You cannot fax the form, you cannot fill the form out online, you cannot submit the form electronically in any way, because you have to show valid state or US military ID. Once you're at their office, and you've provided them with your valid ID and your SSN, and your address, and your previous address, and your nearest relatives' (they need 3) names, phone numbers, and addresses they have to go back to one of their 3 desks (big company, 3 whole office employees) and they allegedly look up your information and decide how much of a deposit they're going to charge you (it's $60 for everyone, according to their website), then they come out and the sit down across from you and explain what water service is and how you'll be billed, and how much time you have to pay your bill, and such, and then they send you on your way and send someone to your address within 24 hours to turn on your water service (which really just means to put it in your name, or something, because it's always on).
While they're explaining how cutting edge their technology is, they fail to mention that you cannot call them to make a payment. They cannot take a payment over the phone because they have no way to key a credit/debit card into the system or enter electronic check info. They also fail to tell you that they're not the administrators of their own payment system, some 3rd party that's not affiliated with them in any way runs the damn thing, and they don't have any way to contact the utility other than to call them during their business hours. Normally, that wouldn't be an issue. Here's why it's an issue in this case. The name they put on my account is <Wife's Full Name>/<My Full Name>. When you go to pay your bill online you have to enter your account number and the last name on the account. Given a string that looks like First_Name1 Last_Name1 / First_Name2 Last_Name2, which one do you think is the last name on the account? I can say from experience that it is neither Last_Name 1, nor Last_Name2, or any combination of that string. And because the online payment company isn't affiliated with the utility, they can't tell me what the last name is on the account either. And when they call the utility, they're told that the utility can't provide them with that information because they're not affiliated with me. And when I call the utility, all they can tell me is that the account is in my wife's and my names.
So, this means, that the only two options I have for remitting payment to these complete and utter fucktards is:
1) Take a money order to their physical address - but not a check because they can't accept checks at their office, or
2) Don't pay my bill long enough that they come shut off my service, then call the office to have someone sent out to turn it back on and give the service tech a check.
Oh, and did I mention that this is all over a bill that I could pay using the spare change in my couch? The entirety of the (late) bill, including the $20.00 reconnection fee
and the $60.00 deposit is under $100.00.
