Dave
Staff member
He.[DOUBLEPOST=1404922625,1404922554][/DOUBLEPOST]https://www.facebook.com/david.nihsen
Check it out. It's open to everyone.
Check it out. It's open to everyone.
It's why I hated being the boss. Sometimes it's great but sometimes it sucks.Just had to let a guy go in my department.
I like the guy and have no issues with his work. It's purely a budget tightening decision from the top. It sucks.
Well, that unexpected quickly.There's nothing like finding out, after all this time, that there was another man.
Um, you know she passed away earlier this year?Well, that unexpected quickly.
I imagine you spent some time yelling at the maquette.
I hope both of you make it through this in one piece.
--Patrick
GB is quite inquisitive and analytic. I'm hoping that he's diving too deep into something that is actually quite innocent. A guy can hope.What I'd like to know (and totally understand if he never mentions it again) is who the fucking fuck told GB? Who is that fucking heartless?
Yes, I remember. That's why I said "maquette."Um, you know she passed away earlier this year?
GB is quite inquisitive and analytic. I'm hoping that he's diving too deep into something that is actually quite innocent. A guy can hope.
What I'd like to know (and totally understand if he never mentions it again) is who the fucking fuck told GB? Who is that fucking heartless?
I wish it was just me reading too much into something innocent, but it's not. It's very very VERY not. Her best friend let something slip which turned out to be the loose thread that unraveled the whole sweater of lies. For more or less the entirety of our relationship, she'd still also been seeing a man who I thought was an ex, and did a pretty incredible job of covering it up. Well, maybe not so incredible. I always tried not to press her too hard on certain subjects because of her past, and I was very patient and accomodating of oddities that I see now should have been GIANT FUCKING RED FLAGS, but silly me, I was just trying to be loving and supportive and it never occurred to me that she, with all her jealous insecurities and semi-regular accusations of infidelity might actually be the one two-timing.Jesus Christ, man. You've been struggling enough coming to grips with her death. I hate to ask, but how did you find out?
Holy Mary, Mother of God...I wish it was just me reading too much into something innocent, but it's not. It's very very VERY not. Her best friend let something slip which turned out to be the loose thread that unraveled the whole sweater of lies. For more or less the entirety of our relationship, she'd still also been seeing a man who I thought was an ex, and did a pretty incredible job of covering it up. Well, maybe not so incredible. I always tried not to press her too hard on certain subjects because of her past, and I was very patient and accomodating of oddities that I see now should have been GIANT FUCKING RED FLAGS, but silly me, I was just trying to be loving and supportive and it never occurred to me that she, with all her jealous insecurities and semi-regular accusations of infidelity might actually be the one two-timing.
There was a hole in my heart when she died, and now there's one in my back as well. I wasn't sure the former would ever heal, but now I'm filling both of them with concrete. When it sets, I'm moving on. I'm posthumously dumping her. All her stuff is going away. But not the aforementioned maquette I had printed up. I think I'll keep that somewhere, as a reminder that "trust but verify" has no exceptions.
This was an awesome sentence. Not to seem callous.There was a hole in my heart when she died, and now there's one in my back as well.
I'm so sorry, Gas. When we love somebody, we try to think the best of them, even when the little alarm in our heads is telling us we shouldn't. I've done it, and I'm sure most people on this board have done it at least once. I hope this doesn't sour you on potential relationships in the future. You deserve to be happy again.I wish it was just me reading too much into something innocent, but it's not. It's very very VERY not. Her best friend let something slip which turned out to be the loose thread that unraveled the whole sweater of lies. For more or less the entirety of our relationship, she'd still also been seeing a man who I thought was an ex, and did a pretty incredible job of covering it up. Well, maybe not so incredible. I always tried not to press her too hard on certain subjects because of her past, and I was very patient and accomodating of oddities that I see now should have been GIANT FUCKING RED FLAGS, but silly me, I was just trying to be loving and supportive and it never occurred to me that she, with all her jealous insecurities and semi-regular accusations of infidelity might actually be the one two-timing.
There was a hole in my heart when she died, and now there's one in my back as well. I wasn't sure the former would ever heal, but now I'm filling both of them with concrete. When it sets, I'm moving on. I'm posthumously dumping her. All her stuff is going away. But not the aforementioned maquette I had printed up. I think I'll keep that somewhere, as a reminder that "trust but verify" has no exceptions.
Counseling could help you cope better during future visits, but my take on what you've said is that you see your in-laws as taking over or their presence is bringing out insecurities you have about your home, relationship, or parenting ability. I think it happens quite often to most people. I'm that way with my own parents for a number of reasons. They stayed here for only 2 weeks and I was ready to stick them in a large catapult that would propel them to NJ almost instantly. I think 6 months is a long time to have house guests who may be set in their own way of how things are done. There is a saying about fish and visitors. Both start to smell after a few days. Again, do I think you need counseling? Not necessarily, but I do think it could give you some options for how to deal with this situation, or ones like it, if the time comes again.tl;dr
My in-laws are staying with us and I am pissed off all the time.
I definitely think that it has to do with a feeling of lost control. I am quite independent, and absolutely don't like being told what to do in my own house. I feel like I am in junior high again. I should bust out my punk rock music.Counseling could help you cope better during future visits, but my take on what you've said is that you see your in-laws as taking over or their presence is bringing out insecurities you have about your home, relationship, or parenting ability. I think it happens quite often to most people. I'm that way with my own parents for a number of reasons. They stayed here for only 2 weeks and I was ready to stick them in a large catapult that would propel them to NJ almost instantly. I think 6 months is a long time to have house guests who may be set in their own way of how things are done. There is a saying about fish and visitors. Both start to smell after a few days. Again, do I think you need counseling? Not necessarily, but I do think it could give you some options for how to deal with this situation, or ones like it, if the time comes again.
I can be a bit passive-aggressive at times. Though when I look up the psychological definition, I don't think that I am. However, there's no "I" in "denial". I am definitely a "cold-shoulder" kind of person.@drawn_inward Do you find yourself treating others this way, or was this more isolated?
Hugs, man. Serious, totally empathetic cyber hugs.I wish it was just me reading too much into something innocent, but it's not. It's very very VERY not. Her best friend let something slip which turned out to be the loose thread that unraveled the whole sweater of lies. For more or less the entirety of our relationship, she'd still also been seeing a man who I thought was an ex, and did a pretty incredible job of covering it up. Well, maybe not so incredible. I always tried not to press her too hard on certain subjects because of her past, and I was very patient and accomodating of oddities that I see now should have been GIANT FUCKING RED FLAGS, but silly me, I was just trying to be loving and supportive and it never occurred to me that she, with all her jealous insecurities and semi-regular accusations of infidelity might actually be the one two-timing.
There was a hole in my heart when she died, and now there's one in my back as well. I wasn't sure the former would ever heal, but now I'm filling both of them with concrete. When it sets, I'm moving on. I'm posthumously dumping her. All her stuff is going away. But not the aforementioned maquette I had printed up. I think I'll keep that somewhere, as a reminder that "trust but verify" has no exceptions.
I'll be honest, the thought crossed my mind. But I decided not to, it'd feel a little too much like kicking over a tombstone. I'm just metaphorically walking away.Hugs, man. Serious, totally empathetic cyber hugs.
You know what I'd be tempted to do? That big monument you made in her honour on Minecraft? Well, I've never played the game so I don't know if this is possible, but...
Create and set dynamite all over it and BLOW IT THE FUCK UP. It'd be cathartic to me after finding out this news. I know you put a lot of work and heart into it, but it might actually be cathartic.
(And if you do, take pics or video if possible because that would be a glorious video.)
Ok, I've gotten some feedback (both private and public) about this post, and I don't get it. Or maybe I do.I hope both of you make it through this in one piece.
I don't feel like I'm being attacked over my comment, really. I just wanted to assert my credibility (and my viewpoint). I've already established that my worldview is ... interesting.I don't know what a maquette is; I just thought you weren't informed, not that you couldn't understand.
Make sure your bank isn't charging you an overdraft fee every day. I know mine would.So I transfer money between my checking and savings for my mortgage then on the first I transfer it back so I can pay my house note well on the third I transferred the money back but apparently I selected the wrong account so instead of transferring the money from my savings to my checking I transferred the money from my savings to my moms account this ended up overdrafting me when my mortgage came out and because I wasn't looking at my checking I kept using it until today when I looked and noticed I was negative 584 dollars (280 of which was overdraft fees)so after going to the bank (they refunded half of the overdraft fees) and getting my mom to transfer the money back I'm at around negative 140now this isn't horrible as payday is this coming thursday and I'll be just fine come then, it's annoying and freaked the shit out of me when it happened.
No they just charge per transaction (also its a credit union I guess I should have said that instead of bank)Make sure your bank isn't charging you an overdraft fee every day. I know mine would.