GasBandit
Staff member
That works out. This was an 8 oz can.
... which twisted individual taught a chipmunk to sing, dressed it up in a pretty dress, and then had it sing this song while holding the chipmunk's nose shut?
Dave
Staff member
Dallas/Philly. Winner is the Division winner and with only two games left in the season after this, the winner will probably be in the playoffs.
My call to Cox Cable: "We are experiencing issues with cable TV in your area and technicians are working on it now."
Are you fucking kidding me?!?
My call to Cox Cable: "We are experiencing issues with cable TV in your area and technicians are working on it now."
Are you fucking kidding me?!?
figmentPez
Staff member
I love Trader Joe's so much. I make a half-hour+ drive down into Houston once or twice a month to get stuff there. I really hope one opens in Kingwood.
Dave
Staff member
There's a picture but it's fractured, goes in and out, and you can't even turn on the sound. It's gotten better, but it's still fucking up.[DOUBLEPOST=1418614731,1418614391][/DOUBLEPOST]The picture just came back. Great timing. Fucking Philly. Hate those guys so much.
We cross the state (2-1/2hr drive one-way) once a month and stock up on about $200 worth of stuff.
THEY NEED TO COME TO OUR TOWN ALREADY
--Patrick
Well, there's one thing we can agree on.
GasBandit
Staff member
I need to use this excuse when I don't want to go to things. "Hey, sorry, can't make it. I locked myself in my house. Good thing the cable still works, ha ha!"
GasBandit
Staff member
I had one like that, that I got to use once (legitimately). "Sorry, I can't make the drive yet, a moving truck broke down while blocking my car in. Nope, can't get out. Well, not unless I want to ruin the lawn and a neighbor's lawn and possibly damage my car hopping a curb. Yep. See you later."
Once, my manager at my first job got locked inside her apartment. Someone had tried to break in, and the lock was damaged. Literally the very next day, a supervisor at the job called in and said she couldn't come in because -imagine!- the same thing had happened to her.
Like, if you don't want to come in, fine, make up your bullshit reason, but at least make up your bullshit reason.
Like, if you don't want to come in, fine, make up your bullshit reason, but at least make up your bullshit reason.
How is this possible and how have I not done this?
When they paved my side street, they parked an earth mover right across my driveway.
I got my camera to take a picture so I could explain to my boss exactly why I was late. It was ironic because at the time I was working developing film, so they were all, "Why are you late?" and I just held up a roll of film and smiled.[DOUBLEPOST=1418682642,1418682401][/DOUBLEPOST]
I have these locks, deliberately. Also, they were installed with one-way screws, so you wouldn't be able to remove the plates to unlock them unless you drilled out the screws.
Basically, if you break into my house, I'm going to force you to break out again, too. You don't get to saunter out my back door with your loot, you go back out that window instead, and the sills of all the windows are 6-8 feet off the ground from the outside. Good luck looking "normal."
--Patrick
GasBandit
Staff member
When my place was broken into, they just took a crowbar to the front door, wrecking the doorframe. 3 in the afternoon, bold as brass.
They would've definitely broken the doorframe at my place, but it wouldn't be as easy as it sounds. The striker plates are sunken 4-1/2" into the doorframe and walls beyond, and I'm located on one corner of a T intersection on a road that probably averages > 3000-4000 cars/hr. It's not prime larceny territory, especially since the third leg of the T is a dead end street (i.e., no escape).
Also, some of you may know I'm a bit of a tea drinker. I probably consume between 32-64oz of brewed black spiced tea daily, and this means I don't go and get a fresh cup every time since my cup probably hasn't even dried from my last cup. Well, this morning I went to prepare my cup for the road and grabbed last night's mug to fill it up. Dumped in the teabags, hot water, brewed it, added milk & sugar (it's how I roll) and took it out to the car along with my other work accouterments. Back out of the driveway, head on out of town, and once I merge onto the freeway I come up to cruising speed and reach for my cup.
...I forgot that last night, I used this same cup to make myself a cup of chicken bouillon before I went to bed. It was a bit like I mistakenly decided to have my morning tea not with graham crackers, but instead with a box of Chicken in a Biskit. An interesting taste combination, to say the least.
--Patrick
Also, some of you may know I'm a bit of a tea drinker. I probably consume between 32-64oz of brewed black spiced tea daily, and this means I don't go and get a fresh cup every time since my cup probably hasn't even dried from my last cup. Well, this morning I went to prepare my cup for the road and grabbed last night's mug to fill it up. Dumped in the teabags, hot water, brewed it, added milk & sugar (it's how I roll) and took it out to the car along with my other work accouterments. Back out of the driveway, head on out of town, and once I merge onto the freeway I come up to cruising speed and reach for my cup.
...I forgot that last night, I used this same cup to make myself a cup of chicken bouillon before I went to bed. It was a bit like I mistakenly decided to have my morning tea not with graham crackers, but instead with a box of Chicken in a Biskit. An interesting taste combination, to say the least.
--Patrick
Last edited:
Well, I did finish it. I mean, it was the only caffeine I was going to get that morning, and if that meant putting up with a fowl aftertaste, then so be it.
--Patrick
GasBandit
Staff member
I was afraid you were going to say "... that's when I remembered I'd used this mug the previous night to catch fat drippings/give my friend Joebob something to spit his chaw in/shelter a small baby bird/etc."
Did you not see the part where I mentioned how much tea I drink? I would never use any of my precious, precious teacups for any of those things, any more than you would voluntarily share half a king-size Reese's Cup with a new coworker.
--Patrick
I'm only am hour from Houston. Come visit me you godless heathen!
When I was in my 20's, my older brother's place got broken into. They threw a rock through his sliding glass door on the side of the house.
I happened to be visiting at the time, and we were chilling in the front room in the dark, half drunk and watching TV. Right next to the "box o' weapons" we had left over from when we closed our kung fu studio. I never saw kids run so fast after they saw us hauling ass down the hallway with swords.
Hah!
Nope.
I don't even leave enough for ants.
I'll let Cranky tell you about the time he chased a handful of teens-w/-ideas out of his backyard with nothing more than his bathrobe and an Italian bayonet.
--Patrick
Mm... interesting taste combinations. That reminds me of the time that a bunch of friends and I were out camping, and my (now) wife was making Turkish coffee, but when she reached for the cardamom, she found jerk seasoning instead. What can I say, we were all a little hung over from the night before. Jerkish coffee isn't as bad as it sounds.
Fun holiday facts: I have a tree climber, who has grown into a fat-ass cat (as opposed to a fat ass-cat, like Sir Mixalot). Anyway, I have discovered that hanging the little pine scented sticks at the bottom of the tree has for whatever reason completely removed her desire to climb it. She still sits on all the presents, because she's a cat and deep down she hates us, but she doesn't climb anymore.
Pine ornaments
Pine ornaments