Funny Pictures Thread. It begins again
- Thread starter CrimsonSoul
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figmentPez
Staff member
GasBandit
Staff member
Man, Galadri-Belle hydrates REALLY well.
Because they were standing wide and you couldn't fit in, or because it's "too close"?
For a gender that takes great pride in whipping it out at a moment's notice to pee anywhere (outdoors, empty water bottles, walls, etc.), there is an awful lot of nonsense about standing too close at urinals.
I don't even use urinals. I'll use a stall like a civilized person
GasBandit
Staff member
That's another reason I use a stall, I prefer to pull my pants down.
And when doing number 2 they come completely off
And all these make sense, aside from #2. With the understandable problem if someone is failing at #7, a buffer for what? Now, I can also understand if the urinals are close together and you don't want to bump someone's arm, leading to #7. If it's busy or there's not enough urinals for a buffer, it makes no sense.
For guys, it's the whole "You're close enough to stare directly at my penis, back off!" thing.
Dave Barry described the issue thusly in Dave Barry's Guide to Guys:
So in the ideal guy rest room, the urinals would be located a minimum of fifty feet apart. Unfortunately, in the real world, they're right next to each other, which means the guy often must make split-second strategic urinal decisions. To illustrate this process, let's imagine a public rest room in an airport. Let's assume the rest room has a row of five urinals, which are represented as rectangles in the following scientific diagram:
Let's further assume that nobody is in the room when Guy A walks in. He is almost always going to choose on of the end urinals-- either no. 1 or no. 5--because he knows this will put him as far as possible from the next guy who comes along. Let's say Guy A chooses urinal no. 5, which means our situation is now this:
When Guy B walks in, he will ALWAYS take no.1. He would never, ever, in a billion years, take no. 4. To do such a thing would cause Guy A to become alarmed to the point where he might zip up his fly so fast that he risks wetting his pants and possibly even injuring his manhood, rather than remain there. But Guy B will always take the far urinal; he may be a decent, secure, open-minded, nonjudgmental person with absolutely no prejudice whatsoever toward gay people, but he nevertheless would rather poke both of his eyeballs out than have Guy A think that he IS one. So he will go to the other end. If the line of urinals were a mile long, Guy B might very well choose to hike the entire distance, even if this meant he would miss his plane.
So now the situation is this:
When Guy C comes in, he will clearly choose urinal no.3. He is not crazy about it, but he still has a one-urinal buffer on each side:
But now in comes Guy D, and HE has a real guy problem, because whatever urinal he picks, he'll be right next to two other guys. This is very upsetting. Some guys in this situation will choose to pee in an enclosed stall, or wait until there's a buffered urinal available, or go way off to the side and pee against the wall, as follows:
If Guy D DOES go to one of the available urinals--say no.2.-- he and guys B and C will all stand rigid, staring intently straight ahead, as though the wall tiles were inscribed with a secret formula for turning Grape Nuts into platinum. "DEATH BEFORE EYE CONTACT," this is the motto of a guy at a public urinal.
I realize that you women out there think I'm making all this up. But ask the guy in your life to read this section, and I bet he'll nod in recognition. He's been there, and he knows the behavior I'm describing. But he has never felt comfortable about discussing this subject with you, because this is an extremely sensitive area for him. Also he knows it's stupid.
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I stand by my original assessment.
Not a single word of that is false. Though if the bathroom is empty you always go to the one farthest from the sinks (if there is no divider between the urinals and the sinks).
The one place this doesn't hold up is at the Bills' stadium where instead of urinals, we have a trough, and you've already given up the right to feel shame.
True, you're already a Bill's fan.
GasBandit
Staff member
Dumbbell.
Standing too close at urinals threatens our fragile masculinity. Which doesn't make your point wrong. But in our defence anything that stops us whipping it out in front of random strangers is probably a good thing.
Dave
Staff member
So what you're saying is men try negging on women because it actually works on other men. Hmmm...
figmentPez
Staff member
figmentPez
Staff member
I've been programming for probably 20 years now, and it never ceases to amaze me how incredibly unhelpful the community is, to the point where I don't actually try to answer people's questions because I know it will be followed by a "Well, actually" and then me telling someone to go fuck themselves, which is apparently frowned upon in the open source community.
To be clear, this is, like so many things, just online. Ask someone a question in person, and most of the time they just try to be helpful.