This feels like she cancelled your daughter's summer activities purposefully to blame it on you, and that's really obvious from the text.
No paraphrasing. All copy/paste.I dunno how much you're paraphrasing but this reasonable question trying to plan in advance:
To then being met with this response, immediately::
After you literally compromised the times that would work for you barring that you'd be able to switch days at work, something out of your control, following being immediately shot down with 0 other options given other than what will work for her:
is giving me fucking whiplash.
Me: "This appears to be me asking for a compromise when you have already settled on not allowing for one. I also do not appreciate these passive aggressive statements you are making suggesting that Hailey is missing out on fun because she is spending time with me."Her: "I really don't like the inconsistency and adjustment of schedules every couple of months. It is taxing on my schedule (kids schedule) and disrupts my family. I am going to have to think about this a bit more because my schedule does not just involve her and the kids have mid week activities and there is not a good day where this wont impact the rest of the kids. This also will prevent me from including her in summer activities that she has requested and I am looking into. "
Me: " the point is to allow Hailey to have more time with me. That is also something you should be accommodating for too. We all have schedules and they all need to be considered. Hailey has said she is looking forward to overnights again. I'm willing to work with you but I'd like to know you are working with me too. "
The message very clearly gives you opportunities to provide feedback and even asks you to. It asks you if this week is still open for Hailey. It says I am requesting but have not cleared anything with work. The context of the message implying that there is time to change things if you need me to."Hi Sarah,
I'm working with the hotel and my parents on a plan for a vacation week with Hailey this summer and wanted to bring you in for feedback.
I'm putting in a request for Sunday the 25th of July through Saturday the 31st (dropping off Hailey on Sunday the 1st of August).
Let me know if this week is still open for Hailey. If so I will let you know if I am approved for it."
Unless it cost you money every time you interact with your lawyer, are you sending all of this to them as it happens or financially would you need to reach a tipping point to where it would be something you'd finally just go all in? Because, dude, the more time your daughter spends under her thumb, the more likely she's gonna be screwed up unless she's old/smart enough to see through mommy's BS.I am likely going to go with the following abridged reply instead of the one above.
Me: My request for the week of the 25th was written with clear invitations for you to provide feedback and let me know if the week worked for Hailey's schedule. If it did not you could have informed me of such, the reason why, and provided a suggestion for another week. The dates were only pending (as I stated) and could have been altered. As I had made the request 3 months in advance I felt assured that you would have already informed me of any conflicts that week.
I am confident that the judge will be able to look at all of our messages and identify you as the person being difficult and who is not co-parenting effectively.
But I still have hope that you and I will be able to work together in raising Hailey but that hope is quickly fading the more you resist compromising with me.
You can start making things better by informing me of every event/activity/class/vacation that you wish to schedule Hailey for. You are required to do so anyway, so I don't see why you have been failing to do so to this point.
This will be better than me having to guess your schedule with a request, being told no, and then having to guess again since you don't ever offer suggestions to help compromise.
Costs money every time I interact. I need to make it count.Unless it cost you money every time you interact with your lawyer, are you sending all of this to them as it happens or financially would you need to reach a tipping point to where it would be something you'd finally just go all in? Because, dude, the more time your daughter spends under her thumb, the more likely she's gonna be screwed up unless she's old/smart enough to see through mommy's BS.
That's a good start, but I wouldn't put it past her to pull out the rug, either, sadly.I've saved some money and am trying to make plans to take Hailey to Disneyland this summer while the park is on minimal operations.
My biggest fear was always asking Sarah this because well... Sarah. I would likely get a response along the lines of "It would not be okay to let Hailey go to Disneyland when her siblings can't go" or some other BS reason she uses as an excuse. Surprisingly when I asked her if this is something I could plan and maybe get some open availability on my visit hours she said "Ok".
It's not much and it still isn't a yes to a particular date, but it's something.
I don’t believe he is. When Sarah and I first got together she was going to court to get him limited visits, claiming he and his family were abusive. She got me to believe that about him too, despite any evidence other than her word (the kids were far too young at the time to add anything). For a while the most he got was monitored visits of two hours a week that he had to pay for since he couldnt pay child support.That's a good start, but I wouldn't put it past her to pull out the rug, either, sadly.
Just out of curiosity, aside from the youngest kids, are Hailey's siblings bio-dad/dads (?) in the picture? Do they at least get some special time with them?
It's possible. I'm being optimistic but cautious for now.I wouldn't be surprised if she attempts to sour the trip in some kind of manipulative way. Or announces a "change of plans" at the eleventh hour.