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Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
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My brother was riding his motorcycle in the middle of the day when a piece of shit drunk driver ran a red light and hit him full on. My brother is now in surgery for numerous broken/fractured bones, as well as getting assessed for internal injuries. The worthless drunk who hit him tried to drive away, but he was arrested right after.
I hate the fact that anyone would ever get behind the wheel after drinking. And I hate that there’s nothing I can do for my brother right now. I’m just filled with anger and sadness, and no real outlet.
I hate the fact that anyone would ever get behind the wheel after drinking. And I hate that there’s nothing I can do for my brother right now. I’m just filled with anger and sadness, and no real outlet.
And I hope that he’s pulled apart by wolves in front of his loved ones. But this is why we don’t let families decide punishments, I suppose.
Your pain is valid, and I won't interfere in it. Some may find my curse worse than yours.
For what it’s worth, I know you’re right. But I also feel angry and hateful. I’ve always had a harder time keeping the negative in check.
An update:
My brother has a broken collarbone, dislocated shoulder, two broken ribs, an utterly destroyed right ankle, a fractured left ankle, and he broke all the toes on his right foot. They performed one surgery already to restore blood flow to the foot/toes, and he has more surgeries in his immediate future to continue to repair the damage. Apparently if he hadn’t been wearing a helmet, he would almost certainly be dead.
I can’t go up to see him (he lives in Oregon), but thankfully my parents are going to be there. His girlfriend is already with him. This is going to be a rough few months for him. I’m just glad he’s (hopefully) going to be okay.
My brother has a broken collarbone, dislocated shoulder, two broken ribs, an utterly destroyed right ankle, a fractured left ankle, and he broke all the toes on his right foot. They performed one surgery already to restore blood flow to the foot/toes, and he has more surgeries in his immediate future to continue to repair the damage. Apparently if he hadn’t been wearing a helmet, he would almost certainly be dead.
I can’t go up to see him (he lives in Oregon), but thankfully my parents are going to be there. His girlfriend is already with him. This is going to be a rough few months for him. I’m just glad he’s (hopefully) going to be okay.
Zappit
Staff member
Oh, lord, Tress. I’m so sorry. At least he’s made it through the night. At least he’s still here. as bad as it is, it could have been so much worse. He’s alive. He’s alive and he can come back from that. It will take time, and it won’t be easy - but he’s still here to fight that fight.
I really don't understand the desire to drive while drunk. When I was in college, my Dad told me that it didn't matter what time it was. If I was at a party and needed a ride home but was drunk, I was to call him. He would be there. My grandpa apparently told him the same thing when my Dad was young. I tend to not drink much anyways so I never needed to call, but I was thankful that was an option.
One of my friends would also collect guests' car keys when they arrived at his house for a party. He wouldn't relinquish the keys if the guest was plastered. Instead he'd let them crash on the couch for the night.
One of my friends would also collect guests' car keys when they arrived at his house for a party. He wouldn't relinquish the keys if the guest was plastered. Instead he'd let them crash on the couch for the night.
I assume the rationale is more often either, "I'm going to be in so much *hic* trouble if I don't get home!" or "I can handle it/myself just fine!" (the same way some people will say, "I don't need to ask for directions!" or "I can 'hold it' until I get home!")
--Patrick
I've seen all kinds of variations, most often I hear is "oh but I had X beers a few hours ago but I've since had two black coffees, I'm OK, no worse than just a bit tired". Newsflash: driving bone tired is also a recipe for disaster.
The amount of people I know who drive absolutely plastered is very low (because, frankly, I think it's a terrible character trait and childish lack of grasp of responsibility), sadly there're far too many people who think "a bit" is ok. If I'm designated driver I'll drink one glass. Possibly two if it's a long day and some sort of big celebration (wedding from 11AM to 2Am, a glass of champagne at the reception and a glass after the best man's speech at dinner or something), but that's rare.
"Oh I'll get in so much trouble if I don't get home" - yeah, that's why you plan in advance. Get a designated driver, arrange for a taxi, plan to spend the night, get a room, carpool, enjoy the party without drinking,.... Don't act surprised when you suddenly have to drive home - instant teleportation wasn't invented before the party started, it's unlikely to be available by party's end.
The amount of people I know who drive absolutely plastered is very low (because, frankly, I think it's a terrible character trait and childish lack of grasp of responsibility), sadly there're far too many people who think "a bit" is ok. If I'm designated driver I'll drink one glass. Possibly two if it's a long day and some sort of big celebration (wedding from 11AM to 2Am, a glass of champagne at the reception and a glass after the best man's speech at dinner or something), but that's rare.
"Oh I'll get in so much trouble if I don't get home" - yeah, that's why you plan in advance. Get a designated driver, arrange for a taxi, plan to spend the night, get a room, carpool, enjoy the party without drinking,.... Don't act surprised when you suddenly have to drive home - instant teleportation wasn't invented before the party started, it's unlikely to be available by party's end.
Up-date time!
After hearing absolutely nothing verbally since October, and having a parcel dropped on our doorstep in mid/late December, yesterday there was activity.
So someone dumped a small pile of trash (2 large totes and a garbage bag) on my property yesterday. The contents are old (generations old) family photos and records. She also sent an e-mail with a picture of the pile in front of my house.
So I called by-law enforcement to report illegal dumping. Unfortunately, he can't ticket her because there is slight evidence that this stuff could be reasonably be understood as "mine" or "a gift." But apparently, they will be following up with her and doing some "education."
I mentioned that I mainly don't want her on my property, and the by-law peep mentioned that there's a 'protection of property act' in this province and that it's relatively easy to get that enforced/acted upon. So now (much to my chagrin) I have to talk to cops.
Fuck her.
But I am real glad that I got the locks changed!
Got off work, go to unlock my bike only to discover someone stole everything off it:
A really good bar bag
Both front and back lights
A GoPro handlebar holder
Rest of the bike was intact, but some of that shit was fucking expensive. Great way to end my day.
A really good bar bag
Both front and back lights
A GoPro handlebar holder
Rest of the bike was intact, but some of that shit was fucking expensive. Great way to end my day.
Sorry some lowlife did that to you Nick. I loathe thieves.
Can't sleep. Still too angry over my bike stuff getting stolen. Getting depressed over it. What's the point of even putting anything on my bike if some asshole is going to walk by and take it?
The frame bag alone was worth over $150. For fucks sake. Do I just use a backpack for everything from now on? Whenever I can buy lights again, do I have to take them off whenever I go in anywhere?
I'm going to be too paranoid now to leave my bike locked up there at all, let alone with anything attached to it. Will work let me stash my bike somewhere in the office?
Fuck you, you fucking thief. I hope you have a horrible accident and lose your fucking hands in the process.
The frame bag alone was worth over $150. For fucks sake. Do I just use a backpack for everything from now on? Whenever I can buy lights again, do I have to take them off whenever I go in anywhere?
I'm going to be too paranoid now to leave my bike locked up there at all, let alone with anything attached to it. Will work let me stash my bike somewhere in the office?
Fuck you, you fucking thief. I hope you have a horrible accident and lose your fucking hands in the process.
I am sorry that you are having to go through this, Nick.
Is there any chance that the area you are currently using is covered by a security camera? Have you reported the theft to the police?
Also, I would recommend asking if there is somewhere more secure to keep your bike at work.
Ugh. My wife totaled the rental car she had today (that she got because someone backed into her car and it's in the shop). My wife says that the person crossed the center line and the other person is claiming the opposite, waiting to see what the police report says, but I declined the insurance through the rental company because I couldn't afford it but if I have to pay the deductible that my insurance charges I'm going to be out $750 bucks and I have no idea how I'm going to pay that now either. but I guess wait and see what the police report says. Maybe I'll get lucky and won't have to pay anything out of pocket. here's hoping
Wow, so I just realized I just dropped the bombshell about my wife having stage 4 breast cancer at the beginning of July and then gave ZERO follow-up. I feel SUPER bad about that, sorry. Especially since the follow-up has been... Well, actually really positive. Here it is in abridged, bullet-point form:
1. Biopsy came back with hormonal markers ER+, PR+ and HER2- (these might be French acronyms, though). This is incredibly good news, since it's the best-known type with a lot of research programs happening and well-established, effective treatment protocols.
2. She got radiation therapy on her L4 vertebra to decrease the metastasis on it. It targeted only that one since it's the only part of the whole thing that was giving her any kind of grief (back pain). The rest (millimetric lesions on other vertebrae and a rib, maybe two spots on her liver and a possible micro-nodule on her lung) was gonna be taken care of in systemic treatments. Radiation has worked very well.
3. PET scan was done and confirmed that she has NOTHING on any organ. Liver spots and lung nodule were confirmed benign. Also, while they thought she had lumps in both her breasts, turns out it's JUST in her left one. This is hugely good news as well. Even better, scan showed no real progression from the initial scan on 30 June and the PET scan on 22 July.
4. She managed to get onboarded by Dr. Jamil Asselah, at the McGill University Hospital, who is at the VERY least the best oncologist in Quebec when it comes to breast cancer, and an international authority on the subject as well. On top of being a top-flight doctor, he's also a leading researcher and in charge of all the research protocols. So he's on the bleeding edge. She... She found his e-mail on the Web and wrote him. At 2:17 on a Friday afternoon. 18 minutes later, her phone rang to give her an appointment for the following Tuesday, in Montreal. Unheard-of. This kind of thing just DOES NOT happen in Quebec, except it did this time. For her.
5. She started her treatments with him last week. These consist of two monthly injections which are sent over to us and given at a local community health centre. One is to cut off her hormone production in her ovaries, essentially inducing menopause to starve the cancer. The second is to solidify her bones due to the metastases on there and also due to the menopause leading to reduced bone density. And also two pills, one taken once a day to cut off the rest of the hormones and continue starving the cancer, the other, twice a day, to actually ATTACK the cancer cells. All of this is done at home. Control appointment is in November, she's also likely gonna need to get there earlier to start rehabbing her back. Waiting to hear exactly.
6. The whole team has been STELLAR. Confident, reassuring, knowledgeable, she is in terrific hands.
7. Remember how I said she'd started treatments last week? That lump in her left breast has already shrunk an appreciable amount.
So... That's about it. I'll try to be better about updating you all.
Cheers!
1. Biopsy came back with hormonal markers ER+, PR+ and HER2- (these might be French acronyms, though). This is incredibly good news, since it's the best-known type with a lot of research programs happening and well-established, effective treatment protocols.
2. She got radiation therapy on her L4 vertebra to decrease the metastasis on it. It targeted only that one since it's the only part of the whole thing that was giving her any kind of grief (back pain). The rest (millimetric lesions on other vertebrae and a rib, maybe two spots on her liver and a possible micro-nodule on her lung) was gonna be taken care of in systemic treatments. Radiation has worked very well.
3. PET scan was done and confirmed that she has NOTHING on any organ. Liver spots and lung nodule were confirmed benign. Also, while they thought she had lumps in both her breasts, turns out it's JUST in her left one. This is hugely good news as well. Even better, scan showed no real progression from the initial scan on 30 June and the PET scan on 22 July.
4. She managed to get onboarded by Dr. Jamil Asselah, at the McGill University Hospital, who is at the VERY least the best oncologist in Quebec when it comes to breast cancer, and an international authority on the subject as well. On top of being a top-flight doctor, he's also a leading researcher and in charge of all the research protocols. So he's on the bleeding edge. She... She found his e-mail on the Web and wrote him. At 2:17 on a Friday afternoon. 18 minutes later, her phone rang to give her an appointment for the following Tuesday, in Montreal. Unheard-of. This kind of thing just DOES NOT happen in Quebec, except it did this time. For her.
5. She started her treatments with him last week. These consist of two monthly injections which are sent over to us and given at a local community health centre. One is to cut off her hormone production in her ovaries, essentially inducing menopause to starve the cancer. The second is to solidify her bones due to the metastases on there and also due to the menopause leading to reduced bone density. And also two pills, one taken once a day to cut off the rest of the hormones and continue starving the cancer, the other, twice a day, to actually ATTACK the cancer cells. All of this is done at home. Control appointment is in November, she's also likely gonna need to get there earlier to start rehabbing her back. Waiting to hear exactly.
6. The whole team has been STELLAR. Confident, reassuring, knowledgeable, she is in terrific hands.
7. Remember how I said she'd started treatments last week? That lump in her left breast has already shrunk an appreciable amount.
So... That's about it. I'll try to be better about updating you all.
Cheers!
Replying to myself. It seems that maybe my wife is the one that caused it. Still waiting on crash report
edit/update. Now the rental car place just tried to charge my card for 200 bucks (not sure why) but it got declined because I don't have that much on my card so I'm assuming they're going to be calling me shortly wanting that money too. nice
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Hoping for the best Simfers! I am glad your wife is getting the best help. Don't feel bad about not informing anyone about progress. Be well and take care of yourself too.
Dave
Staff member
When Sam was in 4th grade there was this little goofball she met named Zach. Zach was quite the clown and not afraid of anything. At one of the birthday parties he let the girls paint his nails, which at that age was just asking to be picked on but he never was or cared. Throughout the years he became one of our “other” kids. When his family couldn’t afford school lunch you damn well bet that we were there to make sure that boy ate. When their house was hit by a tornado and ripped the roof off, he lived with us so his parents didn’t have to worry about getting him to school or anything like that. When Sam was being bullied, Zach was right there to have her back and to pick her up. And if you’ve heard my stand up he’s THE Zach - the one who sold me my first pot.
Last night Zach took his own life. Nobody knew or had a clue that anything was wrong. He’d just gotten married and his new son started kindergarten a whole 6 days ago. We’re all floored and confused and angry. His mom is beating herself up with what ifs. What if she’d called him? What if she missed something? What if…?
Sam is beyond broken up over this. They were very close. Kerri feels like she’s lost one of her kids and it comes one day after the anniversary of her mother’s passing.
He was 29. Left behind a wife, son, and a whole bunch of questions.
Last night Zach took his own life. Nobody knew or had a clue that anything was wrong. He’d just gotten married and his new son started kindergarten a whole 6 days ago. We’re all floored and confused and angry. His mom is beating herself up with what ifs. What if she’d called him? What if she missed something? What if…?
Sam is beyond broken up over this. They were very close. Kerri feels like she’s lost one of her kids and it comes one day after the anniversary of her mother’s passing.
He was 29. Left behind a wife, son, and a whole bunch of questions.
That's horrible Dave. I am sorry.
Fuck.
Damn.
Good for you and yours for giving him a home away from home. It might be cold comfort now, but that is treasure neither you nor Zach can ever lose.