[TV] Talk about the last TV you watched, the catchall thread

Frank

Frank

The Dexter finale was the worst hour of dramatic TV I've ever watched. None of the spoilers were right, they would have been hilarious. This finale was a nonsensical cowardly mess. It was so terrible, it made every previous episode of Dexter, right back to the beginning, complete trash by association. If you can watch the finale of Dexter and still call yourself a fan of the show, you objectively have bad taste and should probably have your kids taken away.

It was the worst finale to an hourly dramatic series ever. I fucking dare someone to find worse.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the equivalent of having your eyes pried open Clockwork Orange style and being forced to watch unending Kardashian shows and 10 being the tv equivalent of representations (of your sex or gender of choice) of All Good Things (the Star Trek TNG finale) and The Shield finale doing all the filthy things you've ever wanted to you, the last episode of Dexter gets negative 129 quadrillion. I swear to God there is no hyperbole in this last sentence.

Seriously, you know what's even worse than the lazy God awful writing, acting and everything else? They couldn't even keep details from the previous 2 episodes straight. 2 episodes before this, Dexter's son (the worst child actor to ever live) had stitches on his chin in one of the silliest scenes ever filmed (there's a gif of it 1 or 2 pages back in this thread, it's hilarious). In the previous episode and in the finale, they didn't even fucking bother to put a bandage on his chin. He Wolverine healed. I'm kidding, this isn't actually worse than how bad the finale was.

I went and found the gif for you. It's still hilarious.


Holy fuck, the finale has defender.



I'd have an easier time empathizing with a pedophile than understanding these people.

COHESIVE?

YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT WORD MEANS!

cue Inigo Montoya gif
 
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blotsfan

blotsfan

I'm glad Dexter existed. I watched season 2 and enjoyed it but never really watched more. And now I'm getting these entertaining posts from frank. I hope they decide to tack on another season.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

So, someone want to spoil the ending of Dexter for me, so I can see just how terrible it is without actually having to watch it?
 
Frank

Frank

Ravenpoe said:
So, someone want to spoil the ending of Dexter for me, so I can see just how terrible it is without actually having to watch it?
Click to expand...
This got way longer than I intended it.

Episode begins with Deb being carted away after being shot in the lower abdomen by the big bad at the end of the previous episode. Dexter is about to go to Argentina with Miranda Lawson and his clearly retarded son, where Deb's old boss (the Boondock Saint) is waiting to catch her. Dexter purchases a backpack, loads it with random backpack shit, places it under a row of seats in the airport and then tells a clerk that he saw the Boondock Saint leave it there. Security hauls away Boondock Saint, allowing Dexter, his son and Sarah Walker to escape the airport. The downside to this is they miss their flight to Argentina (and there's a hurricane looming). How he himself avoids becoming the subject of an investigation after what is likely 1200 cameras catch him on film placing the backpack himself is never brought up again because Dexter is never the subject of the repercussions of his own actions.

Meanwhile, wounded big bad steals a car and goes to a vet to have his wound from the previous episode taken care of where he learns that Deb is still alive in an extremely convenient news report. Dex is called by folks that his sister is in trouble. Deb awakens from surgery with Dex there where she proceeds to tell him that it wasn't his fault she was shot (it was) and that he wasn't to blame for the bad things in her life (he is) and then she apologizes to him for making him miss his flight. The writing is fucking insane. There's some dumb flashbacks to his idiot kid being born.

Some bullshit happens and Dexter sends Aya Brea (really, she voiced Aya Brea in that fucking terrible 3rd Birthday? You learn something new every day) and his son off on a bus and tells them he'll catch up in the least convincing way. On the bus, the Boondock Saint just happens to be sitting next to Yvonne and the kid. She gives the single worst line read of all time when he surprises her. So bad my girlfriend says to me, "That's the best take they got out of that." She jabs him with a horse tranquilizer (on a bus full of people who don't notice) and fucks off.

The big bad goes to the hospital with the vet (where he inexplicably doesn't say a word, or scream or anything) and allows the big bad to stab him in the gut and cause a disturbance in the hospital so he can slip by. Dex figures this out immediately somehow and runs after him. The big bad finds the room registry and is promptly arrested by Batista. Dex is happy Deb is safe, until literally ten seconds later he finds out that Deb had a stroke and is now brain dead. Quinn is sad.

Back at Miami metro, some people shout at the bad guy. A little bit later, he is by himself in a room and Dexter (who had, we all believed, quit his job) waltzes into the room under the pretenses of taking a variety of samples for testing from him and cajoles big bad into attacking him. Dex then murders him with a pen in a way that seems about as much like self defense as George Zimmerman on Trayvon Martin, except it's caught on film. Batista and Quinn are watching the tape with Dexter and decide to just let him go. Seriously. They let him go in what seems like a matter of minutes after he murders a man with a pen on camera in the police station. It's fucking insane.

Dexter then gets his boat, goes to the hospital where they're battening down the hatches for the hurricane and unplugs the braindead Deb, carries her to his boat (the hospital has a dock...does any Miami hospital have a dock?), takes her out to sea, dumps her there, makes a pathetic call to his kid and Hannah, who are by themselves in Argentina. Then, he heroically decides to drive his boat into the hurricane so he can stop hurting the people he loves. I'm guessing not a single writer of the show saw any irony in abandoning your son in a foreign country with someone who isn't his mom and at most is only a little fond of him as not at all being any kind of way of not hurting the ones you love.

Hurricane over. Coast guard finds the wreckage of his tiny little boat. Batista is sad. Hannah reads it on a laptop in a cafe in Argentina and walks off with stupid child. They are sad.

Cut to a lumberyard where a bearded Wolver....Dexter is getting into a truck, he drives to a run down shack, sits in a chair, looks directly at the camera and sheds a single tear. Dexter is sad.

Credits. The audience isn't sad. Mostly dumbfounded.
 
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Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Frank said:
This got way longer than I intended it.

Episode begins with Deb being carted away after being shot in the lower abdomen by the big bad at the end of the previous episode. Dexter is about to go to Argentina with Miranda Lawson and his clearly retarded son, where Deb's old boss (the Boondock Saint) is waiting to catch her. Dexter purchases a backpack, loads it with random backpack shit, places it under a row of seats in the airport and then tells a clerk that he saw the Boondock Saint leave it there. Security hauls away Boondock Saint, allowing Dexter, his son and Sarah Walker to escape the airport. The downside to this is they miss their flight to Argentina (and there's a hurricane looming). How he himself avoids becoming the subject of an investigation after what is likely 1200 cameras catch him on film placing the backpack himself is never brought up again because Dexter is never the subject of the repercussions of his own actions.

Meanwhile, wounded big bad steals a car and goes to a vet to have his wound from the previous episode taken care of where he learns that Deb is still alive in an extremely convenient news report. Dex is called by folks that his sister is in trouble. Deb awakens from surgery with Dex there where she proceeds to tell him that it wasn't his fault she was shot (it was) and that he wasn't to blame for the bad things in her life (he is) and then she apologizes to him for making him miss his flight. The writing is fucking insane. There's some dumb flashbacks to his idiot kid being born.

Some bullshit happens and Dexter sends Aya Brea (really, she voiced Aya Brea in that fucking terrible 3rd Birthday? You learn something new every day) and his son off on a bus and tells them he'll catch up in the least convincing way. On the bus, the Boondock Saint just happens to be sitting next to Yvonne and the kid. She gives the single worst line read of all time when he surprises her. So bad my girlfriend says to me, "That's the best take they got out of that." She jabs him with a horse tranquilizer (on a bus full of people who don't notice) and fucks off.

The big bad goes to the hospital with the vet (where he inexplicably doesn't say a word, or scream or anything) and allows the big bad to stab him in the gut and cause a disturbance in the hospital so he can slip by. Dex figures this out immediately somehow and runs after him. The big bad finds the room registry and is promptly arrested by Batista. Dex is happy Deb is safe, until literally ten seconds later he finds out that Deb had a stroke and is now brain dead. Quinn is sad.

Back at Miami metro, some people shout at the bad guy. A little bit later, he is by himself in a room and Dexter (who had, we all believed, quit his job) waltzes into the room under the pretenses of taking a variety of samples for testing from him and cajoles big bad into attacking him. Dex then murders him with a pen in a way that seems about as much like self defense as George Zimmerman on Trayvon Martin, except it's caught on film. Batista and Quinn are watching the tape with Dexter and decide to just let him go. Seriously. They let him go in what seems like a matter of minutes after he murders a man with a pen on camera in the police station. It's fucking insane.

Dexter then gets his boat, goes to the hospital where they're battening down the hatches for the hurricane and unplugs the braindead Deb, carries her to his boat (the hospital has a dock...does any Miami hospital have a dock?), takes her out to sea, dumps her there, makes a pathetic call to his kid and Hannah, who are by themselves in Argentina. Then, he heroically decides to drive his boat into the hurricane so he can stop hurting the people he loves. I'm guessing not a single writer of the show saw any irony in abandoning your son in a foreign country with someone who isn't his mom and at most is only a little fond of him as not at all being any kind of way of not hurting the ones you love.

Hurricane over. Coast guard finds the wreckage of his tiny little boat. Batista is sad. Hannah reads it on a laptop in a cafe in Argentina and walks off with stupid child. They are sad.

Cut to a lumberyard where a bearded Wolver....Dexter is getting into a truck, he drives to a run down shack, sits in a chair, looks directly at the camera and sheds a single tear.

Credits.
Click to expand...
... shitballs.

That's all I can think of to say to that. Shitballs.
 
checkeredhat

checkeredhat

my friend still adamently defends that show. i try to tell her all the ways it turned to shit but she wont listen. I need to watch this last season so I can discuss it with her from an educated and fair standpoint instead of just telling her a mountie told me it was bad.
 
Covar

Covar

How I Met Your Mother - 1 hour premiere of the last season was last night, and it was great. I was initially worried with it being renewed late last year that it would feel phoned in. So far that is not the case, and I don't suspect it will be. Also

Ted has yet to meet the mother. Lily has, and the mother has been in two scenes including one with future Ted. I find her adorable.
 
blotsfan

blotsfan

She's basically a female Ted. Of course, I'm sure this season will be the two of them juuuust missing each other over and over again.
 
Gryfter

Gryfter

So evidently the writers on the last three seasons of Dexter say this ending was planned all along.....






Someone on that team should've stepped up three years ago and said "That would be a sucky ending, we shouldn't go that route." Would have saved us from watching a once great show descend into utter crap.
 
Krisken

Krisken

Currently watching the Pilot for The Blacklist. This could be really, really good. Can't wait to see where this goes from here.
 
Sparhawk

Sparhawk

Watched Agents of SHIELD tonight, enjoyed the setup. Coulson has some good lines, cast seems to be well picked and the story is carrying elements from Iron Man 3 and Avengers in it. I'll indefinably be giving the show a watch next week and has been added to my automatic recordings on the TiVo. Oh, this episode has Cobie Smulders is playing her Agent Hill character at the beginning.
 
CynicismKills

CynicismKills

Krisken said:
Currently watching the Pilot for The Blacklist. This could be really, really good. Can't wait to see where this goes from here.
Click to expand...
Some of the writing was crazy stupid, like the "Hazmat" stop on a bridge. All in all though, I'm really hoping for good things because regardless of said issues, I still enjoyed it.
 
Krisken

Krisken

Ravenpoe said:
Isn't that the show where James Spader really wishes he was Hannibal Lectre?
Click to expand...
I was thinking more of a Lex Luthor, but yeah, without the eating people.

Yeah, the Hazmat thing was dumb.
I instantly thought "wow, that is totally a trap". It was super obvious.
 
Gryfter

Gryfter

http://www.deadline.com/2013/09/commissioner-gordon-fox-tv-series-drama/

A TV series set in the Batman world that doesn't have.... wait for it...... Batman. This is being compared to Smallville but that show, while not having Superman, had Clark Kent before he was Superman. As cool as Jim Gordon is, this will just be a police procedural. Their mention of all the villains is useless as without Batman we won't have any of the interesting ones. Oh well, it's on Fox so when it's not immediately successful they'll can it anyway so why even bother.
 
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Espy

Espy

Yeah, I guess I don't get doing a Batman show without Batman. It sounds phenomenally stupid. Just do something unique. And honestly, it will just become a standard police procedural anyway so who cares? Do we need LAW AND ORDER: GOTHAM SVUCSI?
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Espy said:
Yeah, I guess I don't get doing a Batman show without Batman. It sounds phenomenally stupid. Just do something unique. And honestly, it will just become a standard police procedural anyway so who cares? Do we need LAW AND ORDER: GOTHAM SVUCSI?
Click to expand...
In the right hands, the concept can be pretty great, actually. Observe:


Of course, that was a GCPD with Batman making the VERY occasional appearance. Usually to get yelled at by the cops for not letting them do their job.
 
Espy

Espy

ThatNickGuy said:
In the right hands, the concept can be pretty great, actually. Observe:


Of course, that was a GCPD with Batman making the VERY occasional appearance. Usually to get yelled at by the cops for not letting them do their job.
Click to expand...
Well thats not a tv show now it is?
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
I think it would be better if
there were a group of cops who were vigilantes. Like if Batman would have disappeared so the cops took over as the crime fighter without rules. And yes, it could take a turn towards Dill.
 
Gryfter

Gryfter

ThatNickGuy said:
In the right hands, the concept can be pretty great, actually. Observe:

Of course, that was a GCPD with Batman making the VERY occasional appearance. Usually to get yelled at by the cops for not letting them do their job.
Click to expand...
If they had gone this route, it might have been more interesting but lets be honest here, police procedurals are a dime a dozen on TV, and the one thing that might set this show apart would be having the Batman in the background. Stating from the get go that he won't be in the show is simply asking Fox to cancel it as soon as possible.
 
Covar

Covar

ThatNickGuy said:
In the right hands, the concept can be pretty great, actually. Observe:


Of course, that was a GCPD with Batman making the VERY occasional appearance. Usually to get yelled at by the cops for not letting them do their job.
Click to expand...
Fixed for accuracy to the proposed show. :p
 
Frank

Frank

So Vince Gilligan is moving from Breaking Bad to a buddy cop show on CBS. I fear he's going to end up like Shawn Ryan post the Shield, with failed series after failed series (Terriers was fucking awesome).
 
Frank

Frank

Funniest part of this week's Sons of Anarchy?

Peter Weller's RobOhFace

Spoilered for the sanity of this board.


Alright, my main issue with Sons now is why does every adversary have to be worse than the fucking devil? Lee Toric was interesting as a brutal former Marshall wanting revenge on the club for the murder of his sister, but now that he's a psychotic, murdering, drug abusing sociopath, he's much, much, much less so. The Sons are a bunch of mudering, gun running fuckbags. You don't need to make their antagonists worse than them, I'm sure there are plenty of people who aren't Satan walking that would line up to take them down.

That made Ray McKinnon the best villain they had.



I guess that's the difference between stuff like Breaking Bad and this.
 
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