The Internet will never satisfy its lust for bizarre and weird things.

[Squidleybits]

NO! NOT the COMFY COUCH!!!!

It’s more than that. It feels. Check out the last comment.

I needs it! And I needs it at the office sometimes.

 

[PatrThom]

I want to see the informercial for this: "We source each bear from sustainably managed orphanages. We harvest our bears fresh-squeezed from only the happiest and most hopeful orphans in order to catch them at their peak of softness."

--Patrick

 

[figmentPez]

 

[GasBandit]

Sound.

 

[PatrThom]

Godzilla model constructed of discarded cicada pupae casings.

--Patrick

 

[figmentPez]

Standing keyboard:

 

[PatrThom]

Maybe not the best place to post this, but certainly the most appropriate, once you realize who he is:
(read the whole thread)



—Patrick

 

[GasBandit]

 

[PatrThom]

These Pastafarian rituals keep getting more and more elaborate.

--Patrick

 

[figmentPez]

 

[PatrThom]

Wookit his widdle toe beans!

—Patrick

 

[Snuffleupagus]

Now give it a goatee and human teeth for Gasbandit.

 

[GasBandit]

Now give it a goatee and human teeth for Gasbandit.

Excuse you, I have a Zappa, not a goatee.

 

[PatrThom]

Excuse you, I have a Zappa, not a goatee.

A Van Dyke, you mean?

--Patrick

 

[GasBandit]

A Van Dyke, you mean?

--Patrick

Nope. A Van Dyke has hair on the chin. A Zappa is just an elongated downward turned mustache with a soul patch.

 

[Snuffleupagus]

Excuse you, I have a Zappa, not a goatee.

Hippy.

 

[DarkAudit]

Excuse you, I have a Zappa, not a goatee.

Now play Peaches en Regalia.

 

[PatrThom]

Now play Peaches en Regalia.

He strikes me more as a “Dancin’ Fool” kinda guy.

—Patrick

 

[GasBandit]

He strikes me more as a “Dancin’ Fool” kinda guy.

—Patrick

Indeed, one of my legs is shorter than the other end both of my feets too long.

 

[jwhouk]

I have had many odd things pop up in my e-mail over the years.

This takes the cake.



Inflatable Merry Christmas Whataburger Table Tent Yard Sign

 

[@Li3n]

 

[PatrThom]

Or, y'know, load it into your favorite image editing program and invert it. Much easier.

--Patrick

 

[@Li3n]

What are you, some kind of sick green nose lover?

 

[figmentPez]

 

[PatrThom]

I can really appreciate the effort that went into this.


Also I am surprised at how many I recognize.

--Patrick

 

[Fun Size]

How many people were maimed to bring us that video?

 

[PatrThom]

How many people were maimed to bring us that video?

I cringe most at the guy they wake up with a bottle rocket.
Which woke him up first? The noise and motion of the rocket? Or the pain and smell of burning flesh?

--Patrick

 

[figmentPez]

 

[Celt Z]

RC, step away from the internet.

 

[Dave]

Probably the same guy who wrote the Berries & Cream lad commercials.

 

[GasBandit]

 

[figmentPez]

Wisconsin, are you okay?

 

[PatrThom]

Wisconsin, are you okay?

Nothing really wrong with doing this...SO LONG AS your meat source is one that takes the proper precautions.
Trouble is, there's no way to tell whether they do just by looking at it.

--Patrick

 

[figmentPez]

"Bean dad" is trending on Twitter, and holy shit:
Twitter’s Bean Dad Is a Metaphor for our Broken Country

I have no idea if this is parody, but if it is the author is really committed to the bit.

TLDR; asshole Tweets lavishly about how he forced his hungry 9 year-old daughter to spend six hours trying to figure out how to use a can opener because he declared that no one would eat until she figured out how to use an old, malfunctioning can opener on her own, to teach her a lesson about self reliance.

The whole thing does seem a little fishy to me, because I didn't know they made cans of baked beans that don't come with a pull tab these days.

 

[Tinwhistler]

"Bean dad" is trending on Twitter, and holy shit:
Twitter’s Bean Dad Is a Metaphor for our Broken Country

I have no idea if this is parody, but if it is the author is really committed to the bit.

TLDR; asshole Tweets lavishly about how he forced his hungry 9 year-old daughter to spend six hours trying to figure out how to use a can opener because he declared that no one would eat until she figured out how to use an old, malfunctioning can opener on her own, to teach her a lesson about self reliance.

The whole thing does seem a little fishy to me, because I didn't know they made cans of baked beans that don't come with a pull tab these days.

Most of the cans of beans I buy at the grocer don't have pull tabs.
Edit: I knew I had some in the cabinet.