"Why would I need to play strip poker with you? You already like to run around naked at home all the time."
So!?
Sheesh, women. It's the playful and earning it and whatever. "Why care about a striptease, I've seen you naked a thousand times" ?
Tsss. No understanding of half of humanity's psyche I tell you.
 
Client: "We have this translation we'd like you to review and edit for us."

Me: "This translation is utter shit, who the fuck translated this? How did they manage to get it so terrible? Even Google Translate is better than this. Whoever translated this is a disgrace to the field of translation, and should never call themselves a translator again, and should probably be taken out to the town square and flogged for crimes against language."

Client: "Our staff translator Joe Chen did it."

Me: "Oh fuck he's a friend and classmate of mine. Don't tell him I said that."
 
Client: "We have this translation we'd like you to review and edit for us."

Me: "This translation is utter shit, who the fuck translated this? How did they manage to get it so terrible? Even Google Translate is better than this. Whoever translated this is a disgrace to the field of translation, and should never call themselves a translator again, and should probably be taken out to the town square and flogged for crimes against language."

Client: "Our staff translator Joe Chen did it."

Me: "Oh fuck he's a friend and classmate of mine. Don't tell him I said that."
If they do tell him, just ask they tell him in whatever language he was translating
 

Dave

Staff member
I need a new grill. But that's better which is the neighbor needing a new fence.

Went to grill ribs tonight. The grill is old but it's been limping along for a fair bit. The heat plate shields had rusted and two of them had fallen. I never really knew what they were there for. I do now. It prevents the grease and stuff from falling onto the flames and causing a conflagration. Which is exactly what happened. Fire was shooting out of the sides about a foot at one point. I ran in the house and got an extinguisher. I was able to save all but 3 of the ribs but the grill itself is a danger to myself and the neighborhood.
 
Client: "We have this translation we'd like you to review and edit for us."

Me: "This translation is utter shit, who the fuck translated this? How did they manage to get it so terrible? Even Google Translate is better than this. Whoever translated this is a disgrace to the field of translation, and should never call themselves a translator again, and should probably be taken out to the town square and flogged for crimes against language."

Client: "Our staff translator Joe Chen did it."

Me: "Oh fuck he's a friend and classmate of mine. Don't tell him I said that."
Followup to this, Joe Chen messaged me saying, "Hey, my boss said you said my translation was shit, is that true?"

And I said, "Well... I thought there was room for improvement."

And he said, "I was actually really offended that someone called my translation shit, but when my boss said it was you, I went back and had another look, and yeah I guess I could've done better. You were always the best translator in our class, and I don't think I would've accepted this criticism from anyone else. Thanks for letting me know and being honest, man."

Right now my ego is the size of Colorado.
 
Followup to this, Joe Chen messaged me saying, "Hey, my boss said you said my translation was shit, is that true?"

And I said, "Well... I thought there was room for improvement."

And he said, "I was actually really offended that someone called my translation shit, but when my boss said it was you, I went back and had another look, and yeah I guess I could've done better. You were always the best translator in our class, and I don't think I would've accepted this criticism from anyone else. Thanks for letting me know and being honest, man."

Right now my ego is the size of Colorado.
"Your translation was shit."
"What!? What asshole said that?"
"bhamv3."
"Oh, well okay then!"
 
A car crashed into one of the malls near my work a week ago.
We tried to search up the details on the web to find out whether it was a robbery attempt, a brake/gas mixup, or whatever.
But doing so revealed that, over the last few months, there have been three separate nationwide instances of someone crashing a vehicle specifically into a JCPenney store -- one in Washington, and the other in Colorado.
What is up with JCPenney suddenly attracting cars so strongly?

--Patrick
 
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