So something happened to me today that I don't think has ever happened before, and it's something I make fun of other people for but will heretofore stop.

I had a dream that made me angry, and when I woke up I was still angry. Hell, I'm still angry now.
 
So something happened to me today that I don't think has ever happened before, and it's something I make fun of other people for but will heretofore stop.

I had a dream that made me angry, and when I woke up I was still angry. Hell, I'm still angry now.
Would you like us to make fun of you for it, which would implicitly make it a standard to make fun of people for waking up angry from a dream, thereby allowing you to continue making fun of others for it?
 
Prince William may be the sexiest bald man alive apparently (lol) but I'll have something he never will, a full head of luxurious dirty blonde hair.
 
My Mom made her 4th Facebook account. I guess she forgot her password again. I did not recognize her photo. I must have stared at it for 3 minutes until I decided it was her.

I guess I need to go visit after my second COVID dose.
 
I've also noticed that older people get their account spoofed, think they've been "hacked," and then throw their account away and make a new one. Like... ?????
 
We're transcribing and subtitling a video on eye care. Specifically, it's about a product that helps your eyes produce meibum, a substance that is part of tear production.

What the video said: This product ensures the healthy flow of meibum.
What the transcriber wrote: This product ensures the healthy flow of my bum.
How the reviewer (ie me) reacted: So do I need to use it as a suppository, or does the product make its own way from my eye to my digestive system?
 
We're transcribing and subtitling a video on eye care. Specifically, it's about a product that helps your eyes produce meibum, a substance that is part of tear production.

What the video said: This product ensures the healthy flow of meibum.
What the transcriber wrote: This product ensures the healthy flow of my bum.
How the reviewer (ie me) reacted: So do I need to use it as a suppository, or does the product make its own way from my eye to my digestive system?
Please tell me you asked that out loud. :D
 
It’s like a laxative, but for your eyes.

—Patrick
Side effects include: Poopy eye, loss of height, scrotal smoothing, sleep eating, sleep driving, sleep running from the cops, spontaneous dental hydrosplosion, tail growth, tail loss, urge to shop at Ikea, lost time, found time, death, zombification, loss of capacitive duractance in your lunar wainshafts, involuntary shapeshifting, and mild rash.
 

Dave

Staff member
My new mouse pad. I covers my WHOLE DESK!

 
Today, at lunch, I smelled gunpowder.

Either someone is eating something that has an aroma reminiscent of gunpowder, or someone's eating gunpowder.
 
Be me.

Post a warning in one of your other favorite hangouts that everything on the internet today is a shitpost.

See that one of your favorite transportation YouTubers just posted a new video.

Get completely taken in.

D'OH!
 
I keep getting emails from Fitbit asking me if I'm all right and how I haven't been moving in a long time.

Bruh, my Fitbit broke like 4 years ago.
 
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