Granted,your leg goes numb,necrosis sets in and it needs to be amputated.You turn to drink due to the stress of ghost limb syndrome and spend your days at the park ranting at passing joggers.
Granted. You get a comfy chair, but lack the funds to really enjoy retirement.
Granted, but your bioform is a star-nosed mole and you are so hideous nobody wants anything to do with you.
Granted! Everything everywhere dies instantly, unfortunately you learn in the afterlife that the hipsters were right.
Granted! They have nothing to say. Trees are boring.
Done. Humanity wipes itself out with bioengineered weapons that cause a mass pandemic, and the earth is left unpopulated and barren. The unmaintained nuclear weapons eventually cease to function properly and decay, forgotten, beneath the ever-piling rubble of humanity's forgotten past.
Granted! But the quality of both the meat and the bread is degraded and tastes awful.
Granted,but you overcooked it and now its all goopy and soft.
Done. You enjoy your spaghetti until something funny on TV makes you laugh so hard that noodles and meat shoot up into your olfactory and come out your nose. You gag and flail, staggering backwards over your chair and smash into the stove, knocking a pot of boiling vegetable oil over onto your mother, whose screams will haunt you for the rest of her life after she dies in the burn ward.[DOUBLEPOST=1352763639][/DOUBLEPOST]
Done. Since the celebrity's name is actually spelled "Johansson," you get a lap dance from a very disreputable drag queen SJ impersonator. The itching won't go away afterwards.
Granted! Everyone's wishes but yours though. And everyone found out. AND EVERYONE IS EATING YOUR FLESH OUT OF VENGEANCE! FLESH!
Done. Twilight is a bestseller.
Granted. However their clothing reveals their vital organs and you will have to look at your co-workers digesting things all day. It be nasty.
Granted. Government agents try to track you down, to weaponize you. Oh you can sense them coming, and your psychic powers means you can turn their brains to jelly as fast as they can come, but it does get really tedious.
Granted. However the new Home and Away uniforms are unnecessarily tight and the cameras zoom in on them- ALL THE TIME!
Granted, but the "pet" is not properly socialized and humps the legs of your guests and spills hydrolic fluid all over the floor hourly... until it gets to the point that you have him put down.[DOUBLEPOST=1352820441][/DOUBLEPOST]I wish for whirled peas.
GRANTED! But you get bored with the game after five minutes and stuff it into your closet. Such is the fate of all board games.
You receive a flashlight for your next birthday.
GRANTED! However with your increased immune system you live longer than everyone else. All your friends and family die before you, leaving you old, alone, and forgotten.
Granted, but the friends you make turn out to be vampires and eat you!
Granted. You become prompt and industrious, finishing your tasks quickly... immediately before a change in circumstance renders your work obsolete and meaningless, and if you'd just procrastinated on it you wouldn't have wasted the effort and expense. Thus, you end up doing most tasks 5 or 6 times, becoming jittery and cynical, and extremely prone to ulcers.
Granted! But just as that person comes within one foot of your poop, it instantly rematerializes onto your head. So you will literally have, a shit head.
Granted, but Louisville Sluggers don't really do much since they are not alive.
GRANTED! However it isn't on you. In fact its also not attached to anything alive. In fact you've been framed for chopping off a dudes dick. Better get runin'.
Under the sea!
Granted! However it gets sold out, leaving you to illegally download and get put in jail for 15 years. AMERICA!
Granted.
Okay, but beware it comes with a terrible curse! (That's bad!)
GRANTED! You are now the father of Diamond Tiara. Have fun dealing with that.
