Rant V - The Drama Strikes Back

[Occasional Poster]

Roomie's tv broke today, which means no Xbox 360 in the foreseeable future. I don't get to finish Dragon Age and Left 4 Dead 2 wil be collecting dust when it arrives (traded in two games when I pre-ordered it so there's no reason to cancel).

This is not all bad since I've been playing way too much anyway. Really, it's kind of good that one of my primary timesinks is gone. I've got loads of stuff that needs doing that I have put off for far too long.

I guess it feels kind of weird. It's similar to the multiple times I've gone cold turkey from various MMOs. It's like there's suddenly empty sections of time where I would usually relax with video games. It feels empty. I am probably over-thinking this a lot. I'm sleep-deprived and this was a sudden change. I don't want to convey a baww over this, it's just an odd sensation that I needed to vent.

Now if I can just take advantage of the situation to get a couple more productive hours into my day....

Edit:
Oooooor I could post more on this forum!

 

[LittleSin]

1) Yeh I am a mother requesting a part time job with a few (3-5) hours a day. Its all I can really mage to work because....

2) WTF Daycares?! I know he's six months old but you said you can take a six month old. The only reason you are rejecting me now because you found out he has special instructions attached. Special bottles and feeing implements because of his palate. Now, all of a sudden, theres a year long wait list?

WTF?!


My god, I'm so poor.

 

[AshburnerX]

1) Yeh I am a mother requesting a part time job with a few (3-5) hours a day. Its all I can really mage to work because....

2) WTF Daycares?! I know he's six months old but you said you can take a six month old. The only reason you are rejecting me now because you found out he has special instructions attached. Special bottles and feeing implements because of his palate. Now, all of a sudden, theres a year long wait list?

WTF?!


My god, I'm so poor.

How is the little hell spawn doing anyway? I don't think we've gotten any pictures since the surgery.

 

[MindDetective]

Grr...students!!!

 

[@Li3n]

1) Yeh I am a mother requesting a part time job with a few (3-5) hours a day. Its all I can really mage to work because....

2) WTF Daycares?! I know he's six months old but you said you can take a six month old. The only reason you are rejecting me now because you found out he has special instructions attached. Special bottles and feeing implements because of his palate. Now, all of a sudden, theres a year long wait list?

WTF?!


My god, I'm so poor.

How is the little hell spawn doing anyway? I don't think we've gotten any pictures since the surgery.[/QUOTE]


No need to ruin the Cthulhu-ian mystique...

 

[LittleSin]

I posted a pic in the pictures thread buuuut..heres him in a tiny white tuxedo.

 

[HCGLNS]

Rant #1
To whoever is in charge in the City of Calgary, smarten up! Last week you vacinated pro-athletes ahead of everyone esle for the H1N1 virus. This week you gave parking tickets to Veterans attending a Veterans Day ceremony!

Rant #2
Listen up you slime, you maggots! Don't roll your eyes at me when I come over to your table to remind you that you're eating in a family restaurant and to watch your language. That word shouldn't be spoken in the company of sailors, let alone five children seated around you all under the age of four. Yeah you go ahead and mumble under your breath what you're gonna do to me, you try anything and I'll snap your teenage spine like the twig that it resembles. And I have no doubt that every other father let alone mother seated around you would have my back and not yours. It's hard enough protecting the innocence of children, we don't need to have your language thrown into the mix.

 

[Krisken]

Jesus fucking christ. Take a second to realize that everything isn't about YOU all the time. Shit you are not interested in will be talked about sometimes. Every second of every day will not be about you and what you enjoy talking about. Forcing everyone to walk on egg shells because you can't handle 5 minutes of conversation not being about your fragile ego gets old.

Egocentric attitudes are fucking tiresome after a while.

Ok. I'm done. Just needed to vent.

 

[strawman]

Jesus fucking christ. Take a second to realize that everything isn't about YOU all the time. Shit you are not interested in will be talked about sometimes. Every second of every day will not be about you and what you enjoy talking about. Forcing everyone to walk on egg shells because you can't handle 5 minutes of conversation not being about your fragile ego gets old.

Egocentric attitudes are fucking tiresome after a while.

Ok. I'm done. Just needed to vent.

 

[Krisken]

Jesus fucking christ. Take a second to realize that everything isn't about YOU all the time. Shit you are not interested in will be talked about sometimes. Every second of every day will not be about you and what you enjoy talking about. Forcing everyone to walk on egg shells because you can't handle 5 minutes of conversation not being about your fragile ego gets old.

Egocentric attitudes are fucking tiresome after a while.

Ok. I'm done. Just needed to vent.

[/QUOTE]
Ok, I laughed. I really needed that. Thanks.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

FUCK FUCK F U C K

 

[Dave]

FUCK FUCK F U C K

OKAY OKAY O K A Y

But only because you asked so nicely.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

I'm so frustrated at this point that I can't even think of a semi-witty comeback. But thanks for the giggle, Dave. :hug:

 

[Cajungal]

SICKBAW. I hate it when there's stuff in my chest. Grossy-gross. Time to pick up the Mucinex and have some tea.

 

[Bubble181]

@Stien: we can start a club, huzzah ;-)

Wooo! I'm in!

We should have club meetings. When do we start betting on who dies first?[/quote]

Funeral tomorrow.

I guess that means I win...?

-Adam[/quote]

Well, yes, but barely. Mine's miraculously still alive. Condolences.[/QUOTE]

Thanks. It was a good service, and one of the rare times you get such a large portion of the family together.[/QUOTE]

And there went mine.

 

[Cajungal]

Oh... sorry Bubs.

 

[Gusto]

Condolences to you and yours Bubs.

 

[strawman]

@Stien: we can start a club, huzzah ;-)

Wooo! I'm in!

We should have club meetings. When do we start betting on who dies first?[/quote]

Funeral tomorrow.

I guess that means I win...?

-Adam[/quote]

Well, yes, but barely. Mine's miraculously still alive. Condolences.[/quote]

Thanks. It was a good service, and one of the rare times you get such a large portion of the family together.[/quote]

And there went mine. [/QUOTE]

My condolences.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

My condolences to you and your family, Bubble.

 

[North_Ranger]

I feel bad...

I just got a call from the civic centre in a neighbouring city. They had a few lessons open where they needed a substitute English teacher, and my name was on the list of people who would be available for the job.

I had to turn it down.

I'm in the final stages of writing my Master's Thesis, working my ass off to write the last 20 pages within the next week-and-half, and not counting tonight's WoD session I basically do nothing else but sleep, go to classes and write. It's been dragging on for way too long and I want to get it done. Not to mention our seminar group teacher is probably getting a little frustrated with me since I had a period of three months when I produced absolutely nothing of value

I want to get the Thesis done so I can actually start taking these jobs without worrying about the Thesis... but I still feel this guilt about not taking the offer. Probably because my procrastination with the Thesis.

*sighs*

Sometimes I hate the university so much...

---------- Post added at 01:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:37 PM ----------

...and apparently I'm enough of a bastard to bitch about this when there's been deaths in the forumite families.

My condolences.

 

[Bubble181]

Thanks, all. She somehow managed to die almost painlessly, mentally clear and alert, which is pretty good, imo.

 

[Adam]

I don't even want to write this - actually, I don't even know if I can.

My wife and I both played WoW for a good long time. While playing WoW there was a guy in North Carolina or something that she ended up playing a lot with because he was a pocket healer for her tank. They chatted back and forth a lot and then after a while, took the conversation to MSN too. He was a younger guy (23) who we will name "Kam" who was having problems with his girlfriend so they chatted about that mostly.

One day I was standing over her shoulder chatting, watching her play, and he sent her a messsage of <3. I half-joking told her "Do I have to kick his ass now or something?" and she gave me the third degree saying that I have to trust her, and she's a grown woman and she's not stupid. I explained to her that this guy is probably an internet nerd who's gonna get sucked in by her and things aren't going to end well.

Fast forward to end of September. My wife has to go out of town for work for a week to a town called Kelowna. She takes her gaming laptop with her for something to do as being cooped up in a hotel room for a week isn't very much fun. While she's preparing for a night out with coworkers, she receives a message from Kam. He's in the same town (Which is on the opposite side of the country from where he lives) and he's never been there. She's hesitant at first but eventually invites him along to go out partying with them. They go out, she drinks a lot, gets a little too friendly.

They go back to her hotel and sleep together.

Fast forward to October when her and her sister go to Vegas. I've already told the story earlier in this thread I believe about how her sister slept with some guy in Vegas. She told me about him and I outright told her 'It's not the cheating I hate, it's the lying. Never do that to me'

This past weekend she was out in Vancouver visiting a college friend. She had been messaging Kam back and forth saying that it wasn't going to happen and he should drop it and she's married and blah blah blah. Amazingly enough, Kam shows up in Vancouver on the Friday. She tells him "No", "I'm not interested", "I want nothing to do with you anymore" and he gets mad and tosses her around a bit, scaring the bejeesus out of her.

Sunday she returned home, obviously upset. I had determined a change in her behavior between Friday and Saturday so I was needling her for what happened when she explained all of the above.

Halforums, I am devastated. I just need a friendly hug or something. Sick to my stomach, completely drained, and now I have to go into work and pretend everythings' hunky-dory.

I'm going to be lining up a counselling session - I need that third party to talk this over but therapy's just as good as you guys, right?

Man-baw.

 

[Math242]

god damn, life's a bitch.

do you have kids?

 

[Adam]

No, we can't have kids.

 

[Rob King]

Shit, friend. That sucks. Like ... very much.

I certainly don't have any advice, but couple's counseling sounds like a very good plan.

 

[Math242]

i would rather not give advice about the relationship... All i can say is bros before hoes right?

call your pals and go have a drink or whatever you like to do and try to empty your head or blow some steam.

 

[Dave]

Adam, it looks to me like they set the meeting up. She just happened to be in the same town and both were traveling on the same weekend? Bullcrap. Too coincidental.

Here's what I would do.

1) Decide whether or not you want to stay with her. If not, stop reading and find a lawyer. If so, go to #2.

2) Download a program called Spectorsoft. This program records everything done on the computer. Let her know you did it. Tell her that she's lost your trust and that she has to earn that back. Until then, you are going to be a suspicious bastard. If this is not okay with her then she's not sorry and doesn't want to earn your trust back.

3) Get thee to a counselor if you can. Her, too.

4) Stay strong. These things make you feel like you did something wrong or didn't do something right. But this is her fault. She can blame all the alcohol she wants but she went out with the guy.

As you know, I recently went through something like this but you have an admission and all I have are very well founded - but unproven - suspicions.

Good luck, buddy. You know you have an ear here to vent.

 

[Espy]

Adam, it looks to me like they set the meeting up. She just happened to be in the same town and both were traveling on the same weekend? Bullcrap. Too coincidental.

Here's what I would do.

1) Decide whether or not you want to stay with her. If not, stop reading and find a lawyer. If so, go to #2.

2) Download a program called Spectorsoft. This program records everything done on the computer. Let her know you did it. Tell her that she's lost your trust and that she has to earn that back. Until then, you are going to be a suspicious bastard. If this is not okay with her then she's not sorry and doesn't want to earn your trust back.

3) Get thee to a counselor if you can. Her, too.

4) Stay strong. These things make you feel like you did something wrong or didn't do something right. But this is her fault. She can blame all the alcohol she wants but she went out with the guy.

As you know, I recently went through something like this but you have an admission and all I have are very well founded - but unproven - suspicions.

Good luck, buddy. You know you have an ear here to vent.

OH MY GOSH YES.
Do the above. Dave has given you brilliant advice.

I am SO sorry man. SO SO SORRY. My wife and I have done quite a bit of marriage counseling and if you find good counselors or therapists you might be surprised that you guys can work through this and whatever underlying issues brought it on (and be assured they are there).
In the end though, you should get some counseling or therapy. I have seen this stuff destroy people and you need to, no, you HAVE to talk to someone other than online folks. You need to be open with someone you trust or a therapist. It will make a huge difference for you, trust me.

 

[Vytamindi]

Good advice has already been stated, so here's a hug!

We're here for you!!!

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

I'm really sorry, man.

 

[Cajungal]

Wow. Good luck, man. We're here for ya. :hug:

 

[Math242]

well i would object that bobitting is worse

 

[Tinwhistler]

sorry for the crap you're going through, Adam.

 

[Adam]

Ok, thanks all for your support. I really do appreciate it. While I do have a fairly good support system around me here, the pseudo-anonymity of HF can be comforting at times, like a nice big blanket protecting me.

I'm going to give a bit more background on the situation because, after taking the day off (sick) and sitting down with my wife and just poring over every detail and every nuance and getting a greater understanding of what happened and what's going on, I do feel a lot better and we both do feel like we can move past this.

Kam (The WoW) dude and her chatted a lot. The thing is her and I are both chatters and we've always talked with people online, and yes you flirt online sometimes. I see it here, I see it on WoW, it happens. And it's okay, it can be fun as long as it's not taken to the extreme of course.

So they chatted, and they flirted back and forth. He was far far away (In Louisiana) so it was not-a-big-deal, no worse than us talking about HowDroll's boobies.

She had a week long trip to go to Kelowna, she had told him that's where she was going as people in conversation are apt to do. When he showed up there, it really was a huge surprise for her, and once again, I've done the same thing before - meet up random people in random places. I'd visit Dave in Omaha or North Ranger in Finland or Cajungal in Cajunland or Calleja in Mexico and I wouldn't think twice about it. She's the same way. She's with her coworkers at the hotel bar, he shows up. Eventually the coworkers go to bed but they stay up and drink WAY more - gets stupid - things happen. *slight edit* She can remember everything up to him walking her up to his hotel room. And then some chatting in her hotel room, him trying to kiss her, her pushing him away, and then that's it. She does remember waking up later and the room spinning, but not noticing anyone lying next to her. *end edit*

I can accept that. People make mistakes like that all the time. I don't have to like it, but I can't hate her for that.

The next morning she got rid of him immediately from the hotel roomand stopped talking on WoW, MSN,etc. A couple weeks later he messaged her, and she ignored him.

He messages her repeatedly and she finally starts chatting again, cordially, distant. Saying that it was mistake, it should never have happened, sorry, etc etc.

She goes to Vancouver and she had mentioned to him that she was going to visit a friend. Once again, totally innocent (but stupid).

When he messaged her and said he was in Vancouver and wanted to see her (one last time before he signed up for the peace corps *rolls eyes*). She said fine, but it would be in a public place and she never wanted to see him again. They met on Friday at Tim Hortons, she said it was over, he had to promise never to message her again, that she was quitting WoW, etc. He got a little physical with her but eventually accepted.

And then she came home and told me everything on Sunday.



I love my wife. And I have to trust her. If I was in her shoes, would I have done anything different? Hearing someone call you pretty and attractive constantly? What an ego boost.

Then you drink too much and do something stupid, and the fear that it could destroy your relationship - would you keep it a secret?

Thanks for letting me vent. She wants to fix things so bad - and so do I. I have to try.

 

[Dave]

Fucking A. That's what we want to hear. You are handling it like an adult. I hope everything works out and I'm glad she feels the remorse you are showing us she felt.

She also learned a very big lesson on internet security. This guy could have been a very bad character instead of just a pushy nerd.

Move on and change servers.