"Transformers 2" is a horrible experience of unbearable leng

[ElJuski]

AND PEOPLE ARE NOT OFFENDED BY THIS

Thats what's kind of blowing my mind about it.

No one who has seen it it bothered by it?
One of the kids who works for me saw it last night and he had no idea what I was talking about when I explained why this was racist. He didn't get why them looking like monkey's was racist either.
Kids today.

And what bothers me the most is that only me and BananaHands were laughing at how fucking stupid it all was. Everybody else, on the other hand, thought that the blackobots were hi-fuckin-larious.

 

[DarkAudit]

People back in the 40s thought Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs was hi-fuckin-larious, too.

 

[ElJuski]

Good thing it's been almost 70 years since the 40s...and Micheal Bay yanked us right back

 

[Cajungal]

Ohhhhh goody, there's a clip of them on youtube! I can't wait to watch it when I get home and be in on it.

 

[CynicismKills]

They are by far the worst and most useless characters I've seen in any movie in a really long time.

 

[ElJuski]

Are you referring to Mudflap and Little Black Sambobot? Or to the protagonist's parents? Or the obnoxious college roomate? Or the handful of "special soldiers" who pointlessly point their guns at giant robots to no avail?

 

[CynicismKills]

Are you referring to Mudflap and Little Black Sambobot? Or to the protagonist's parents? Or the obnoxious college roomate? Or the handful of "special soldiers" who pointlessly point their guns at giant robots to no avail?

Mostly the twin Jar-Jars, but yeah, the roomie is a close second.

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

You know, for all my rep as a whiny touchy feely so and so, I'm actually much more offended by Bay's direction than the racist characters.

 

[Iaculus]

You know, for all my rep as a whiny touchy feely so and so, I'm actually much more offended by Bay's direction than the racist characters.

But... but... your rep! Dear God, man, think of your rep!

 

[Cajungal]

For some reason, don't ask me why, referring to yourself as a "so and so" has made you seem more.... cuddly somehow.

^_^

 

[BananaHands]

Well, there was one part I liked. Megan Fox running from explosions in slow motion.

Bouncy-bouncy-bouncy-bouncy

 

[ElJuski]

=3 nom nom nom

*camera starts slowly circling*

 

[Jay]

<--- will support Transformers 2 this weekend and I don't have any expectations other than BOOM CRUNCH POW and Shia screaming "WATCH OUT"

Gotta love people being able to form an opinion based from here say. It seems this forum simply cannot have a polite and constructive discussion without people's opinions and tastes being berated by gimmicks and marks.

 

[DarkAudit]

<--- will support Transformers 2 this weekend and I don't have any expectations other than BOOM CRUNCH POW and Shia screaming "WATCH OUT"

Gotta love people being able to form an opinion based from here say. It seems this forum simply cannot have a polite and constructive discussion without people's opinions and tastes being berated.

You earned it, kiddo. You want to watch shit, no one is gonna stop ya. But expect to be called a fool for doing so. And worse for encouraging more of the same garbage out of the folks in Hollywood. It's your fault we keep getting the same Will Ferrel movies over and over. It's your fault we get excrement like Date Movie and Meet the Spartans. Oh yeah. You've certainly earned it.

 

[Jay]

I'll tell you what, I'll go watch it, then I'll recommend a bunch of other people to go watch it and go watch it again with them. Then... I'll buy the DVD to support them even further. I'll lobby Hollywood to create a 3rd movie. Sign all the online petitions I can find. And when they'll make the 3rd one... possibly with Kevin Smith. I'll do everything I did, again. And love it.

Just for the sake to see you foam at the mouth, smark.

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

the same Will Ferrel movies over and over.

Anchorman, Talledega Nights, and Step Brothers rule

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

Just for the sake to see you foam at the mouth, smark.

life isn't pro wrestling hth

 

[Gusto]

Man I don't know what the big deal is.

Watermelon is delicious.

 

[Steven Soderburgin]

Mudflap...Little Black Sambobot

-- Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:18 pm --

here say

-- Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:32 pm --

Oh hey, Roger Ebert had more to say:

The day will come when "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" will be studied in film classes and shown at cult film festivals. It will be seen, in retrospect, as marking the end of an era. Of course there will be many more CGI-based action epics, but never again one this bloated, excessive, incomprehensible, long (149 minutes) or expensive (more than $200 million). Like the dinosaurs, the species has grown too big to survive, and will be wiped out in a cataclysmic event, replaced by more compact, durable forms.

Oh, I expect the movie will make a lot of money. It took in $16 million just in its Wednesday midnight opening. Todd Gilchrist, a most reasonable critic at Cinematical, wrote that it feels "destined to be the biggest movie of all time." I don't believe "Titanic" and "The Dark Knight" have much to fear, however, because (1) it has little to no appeal for non-fanboy or female audiences, and (2) many of those who do see it will find they simply cannot endure it. God help anyone viewing it from the front row of a traditional IMAX theater--even from the back row. It may benefit from being seen via DVD, with your "picture" setting dialed down from Vivid to Standard.

The term Assault on the Senses has become a cliché. It would be more accurate to describe the film simply as "painful." The volume is cranked way up, probably on studio instructions, and the sound track consists largely of steel crashing discordantly against steel. Occasionally a Bot voice will roar thunderingly out of the left-side speakers, (1) reminding us of Surround Sound, or (2) reminding the theater to have the guy take another look at those right-side speakers. Beneath that is boilerplate hard-pounding action music, alternating with deep bass voices intoning what sounds like Gregorian chant without the Latin, or maybe even without the words: Just apprehensive sounds, translating as Oh, no! No!

The action scenes can perhaps best be understood as abstract art. The Autobots® and Deceptibots®, which are assembled out of auto parts, make no functional or aesthetic sense. They have evolved into forms too complex to be comprehended. When two or more of the Bots are in battle, it is nearly impossible to distinguish one from the other. You can't comprehend most of what they're doing, except for an occasional fist flying, a built-in missile firing, or the always dependable belching of flames. Occasionally one gets a hole blown through it large enough to drive a truck through, pardon the expression.

You want to talk about incredible? I think it's incredible that any of the tiny flesh-and-blood human beings are still alive at the end of the story. As is conventional in action epics about gigantic monsters, the creatures seem to exist on a sliding scale--always possible in theory, I suppose, for a Bot, but disorienting for the audience. On the one hand, you have Bots large enough to rip the top off the Great Pyramid with its bare hands, and on the other, small enough to fit in the same frame with a human, and this movie is widescreen (2:35: 1). To be sure, a Bot can lean down to talk to a human, as Starscream® is doing in the pic with Shia. But when they're seen standing up there's a problem. Their heads are small to begin with, and the effect of perspective from the human eye-level makes many of them unfortunately look like pin-heads.

I didn't have a stop watch, but it seemed to me the elephantine action scenes were pretty much spaced out evenly through the movie. There was no starting out slow and building up to a big climax. The movie is pretty much all climax. The Autobots® and Deceptibots® must not have read the warning label on their Viagra. At last we see what a four-hour erection looks like.

The action is intercut with human scenes that seem dragged in kicking and screaming from another movie. There are broad sitcom situations and dialog as Shia Lebouef goes off to Princeton, and comic relief from his madcap mother (Julie White), who actually plays the most entertaining character in the movie. Then some romances that cement emotional bonds with the speed of Quick Glue, and are well within the PG-13 guidelines. Kevin Dunn and Miss White, as Mr. and Witwicky, are the only characters allowed the slightest dimension, confirming my suspicion that the most interesting conversation at a high school dance is likely to be had with the chaperones.

As is frequent in CGI action, the younger women are made to behave like he-men with boobs. College girls are able to turn instantly into combat-ready participants, except when they have to be dragged to safety by boys. They can out-run explosions with the best of them. Their hair, after countless explosions and long days in the desert heat, is always perfect enough for a shampoo commercial. I suspect many young lads prefer their women like this--at arm's length, if you see what I mean.

Much of the dialog falls under category of Look out! It's necessary in the editing of a film like this to punctuate the action with reaction shots. You're not really able to cut away to another Bot, because their heads are so tiny and so high up there, who knows what they're thinking? You need humans, who react to a blue screen or to a point in space and shout warnings and commands. Acting in a film like this is a season in hell, plus paycheck.

At well over two and a half hours, the film is unreasonably long. Since it's impossible to imagine a studio applauding the extra length and thus greater expense, the running time can possibly be attributed to the ego of Michael Bay, the director: If it is indeed destined to be the biggest movie of all time, who cares how long it is? I suspect it will be trimmed down to under two hours in some overseas markets, and if it is, the human scenes will be the easiest to cut. Then the luckless foreigners will be left with an unremitting Assault on the Senses.

Michael Bay is obviously under the impression that whatever he was doing deserved a 149-minute canvas to do it on. He likes doing this stuff. One pities the hapless animators, peering at their monitors far into the night, trying to distinguish one Bot's hub cap from another's. What we may see at work here is the paradox of rising expectations and diminishing returns . If the first "Transformers" (2007) ran 144 minutes and grossed over $300 million in North American alone, why not keep expanding?

Same goes for the Bots. In the stills with this blog, I have traced the history of Starscream® from its origin as a children's toy through its evolution in TV animation (1984) and the 2007 movie. It has grown steadily more complex, apparently feeding on larger and larger junk yards. Starscream® is now too much to comprehend, especially in Bay's typical average shot length of not much over one second. It pains me to say this, because the designer of several of the Bots was Josh Nizzi, a fellow Illinois grad from my home town. No doubt he has many other arrows in his quiver.

As for Michael Bay, he is only 44 and I hope he tires of this nonsense and returns to making real movies. He was only 31 when he made "Bad Boys" in 1995, and 32 when he made "The Rock." He had been in TV for years. He was a prodigy, like Steven Spielberg, But Spielberg was 47 when he directed "Schindler's List." Michael Bay seems to be evolving in the wrong direction.

So is the hyperactive blockbuster CGI action genre. If there is one thing everyone in Hollywood thinks they know for sure, it's that the three most important words in movie development are story, story, story. This is not a story: A group of inconsequential human characters watch animation.

The very best films in this genre, like Christopher Nolan's "The Dark Knight" and Sam Raimi's "Spider-Man 2," had compelling characters, depended on strong human performances, told great stories, and skillfully integrated the live-action and the CGI. I've been making a list of my favorite robots, those few that evoked wonder and sympathy and were simple attacks of sound and images. I think of the gentle, loveable "Iron Giant" (1999), by Brad Bird. And the genius of Jon Favreau's "Iron Man" (2008), with its final battle we really got involved in. And I think of another robot whose body was made of junk yard parts. Its name was "WALL-E." That was the 2008 film by Andrew Stanton that some people believe was robbed of a Best Picture nomination by the creation of the animation category.

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" will no doubt gross many millions. There will no doubt be a sequel. But when audiences fell hammered down by a film, they are less likely to fall for another marketing campaign. If Hollywood wants the "Transformers" franchise to endure, maybe they should hire one of those directors. They still know how to make a movie.

 

[Calleja]

Harsh.

 

[Bubble181]

a) either it's 149 minutes, or it's "well over two and a half hours", or that guy uses different hours than I do.

b) Spiderman 2 as one of the great movies with story and action? *shudder*

c) Otherwise, ouch.

 

[@Li3n]

People back in the 40s thought Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs was hi-fuckin-larious, too.

Oh c'mon, it still totally is...

 

[GeneralOrder24]

What happened to wheelie?

 

[ElJuski]

a) either it's 149 minutes, or it's "well over two and a half hours", or that guy uses different hours than I do.

b) Spiderman 2 as one of the great movies with story and action? *shudder*

c) Otherwise, ouch.

A) uhm...
1 hour = 60 minutes
2 hours = 120 minutes
2 1/2 hours = 150 minutes

Maybe not "well over", but...good enough.

b) He said in its genre; that is, expansive CGI action fests.

c) I fucking love it when Ebert gets sassy.

 

[Shawn]

So I checked it out today.
The harsh reviews it's received are undeserved. I can say that much. There are far worse films out there that deserve the 10 paragraphs of Ebert complaints more than Transformers 2. It was epic and awesome. Stupid? Of course. But still awesome.
If I have complaints it's the following.

1) Movie is too long. If it's going to be an epic explosion, giant robot movie it needs to be no more than 1.5 hours. Too many scenes drug on way too long.
2) Not enough named robots. I don't care if they don't last more than 2 seconds on film, it would have been nice to know more than the 1/9th of the robots named in the movie. The first one I can name all the bots. This one I was like "Wait? Who was that bulldozer guy who totally got owned by Bumblebee? Who was that!?"

The twin bots were a bit annoying but whatever. I've seen worse "black" characters on the Boondocks.
I think my favorite characters in the film were Wheelie and Jetfire. I'm sure I would have also liked Arcee, but she was hardly in the film at all. Speaking of Arcee... is she all the bikes or just the pink one?
Other than that it was worth the money. I'm satisfied. And I think I'll wait for it to come out on DVD before seeing it again.

 

[GeneralOrder24]

The twin bots were a bit annoying but whatever. I've seen worse "black" characters on the Boondocks.

Uncle Ruckus!

I think my favorite characters in the film were Wheelie and Jetfire. I'm sure I would have also liked Arcee, but she was hardly in the film at all. Speaking of Arcee... is she all the bikes or just the pink one?

Wheelie, Jetfire, and Soundwave were probably my favorite transformers, with soundwave being the only one of the decepticons that didn't turn out to be abso-floggin-lutley useless.

Jetfire definitley had the line of the movie: [spoiler:136vhmen]My father was the wheel! The first wheel! And do you know what he transformed into? NOTHING! But he did so with honor![/spoiler:136vhmen]

As far as Arcee, from everything I've read, the three bikes share a single conciousness, and are supposedly supposed to be able to form one giant robot.

 

[Shawn]

The twin bots were a bit annoying but whatever. I've seen worse "black" characters on the Boondocks.

Uncle Ruckus!

I think my favorite characters in the film were Wheelie and Jetfire. I'm sure I would have also liked Arcee, but she was hardly in the film at all. Speaking of Arcee... is she all the bikes or just the pink one?

Wheelie, Jetfire, and Soundwave were probably my favorite transformers, with soundwave being the only one of the decepticons that didn't turn out to be abso-floggin-lutley useless.

Jetfire definitley had the line of the movie: [spoiler:38u7fyzi]My father was the wheel! The first wheel! And do you know what he transformed into? NOTHING! But he did so with honor![/spoiler:38u7fyzi]

As far as Arcee, from everything I've read, the three bikes share a single conciousness, and are supposedly supposed to be able to form one giant robot.

If Jetfire had a father, and Optimus is a descendant of the first Primes it makes me wonder how these guys supposedly breed.
I guess it means it's convenient that Arcee can split herself into three women.

 

[sixpackshaker]

Saw the movie. It hit its target demographic, square between the eyes with a 2x4 a dozen times. Not one of the African Americans I sat by seem offended by the Twins. Hell there were HUGE laughs for them.

For a toy ad it sure is not kid friendly.

Cussing that would get an R ten years ago.
Up-skirts. And ass shots.
Half the robots fart. really?
[spoiler:6qoxbdeq]Parental Drug Use - effects were totally off the mark.[/spoiler:6qoxbdeq]
[spoiler:6qoxbdeq]Robot Balls.[/spoiler:6qoxbdeq]
Lots of Humping.

In its favor:
The fights this time were far better.
[spoiler:6qoxbdeq]The military was pretty effective. Also pretty accurate weapons use, no where near as bad as Godzilla[/spoiler:6qoxbdeq]
Up-skirts. And ass shots. :toocool:
Had some funny moments.

Against:
Ivy league school completely inhabited by ass-hats and whores.
Moving every Egyptian ruin by Hundreds of miles and putting them in the same place. (Former Geography teacher, that kinda ticks me off.)
The Parents, the smooth talking, cowardly, hispanic room mate that keeps staying in the fight, and The Twins. Even though all 3 got HUGE laughs from the Audience.

 

 

[Cajungal]

Weeelllll, the fellow wants me to see it. He's taking me this weekend. I'll report back my opinion for those who care to hear it.

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

Weeelllll, the fellow wants me to see it. He's taking me this weekend. I'll report back my opinion for those who care to hear it.

I'm.....really sorry.

 

[Cajungal]

Weeelllll, the fellow wants me to see it. He's taking me this weekend. I'll report back my opinion for those who care to hear it.

I'm.....really sorry.

Eh, that's ok. He's making me dinner and Saturday we get to do what I wanna do. I'll just MST it in my head. ^_^

 

[Shegokigo]

Saddest part about it? I could stomach the bad plot, shallow acting, deformation of my childhood heroes (Megatron/Starscream), what's keeping me the MOST from watching it?

Shia.

 

[Koko]

Parental Drug Use - effects were totally off the mark.

Speaking of which...I'd love to see weed brownies that immediately go into effect...total rubbish.

 

[Bowielee]

Saddest part about it? I could stomach the bad plot, shallow acting, deformation of my childhood heroes (Megatron/Starscream), what's keeping me the MOST from watching it?

Shia.

Now there's something we can agree on. I DO hate Shia Lecantact.