Dave
Staff member
We all slip up now and again. These guys are good at what they do.
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
- Start date
-
- Tags
- boat people
Every year it's the same thing.
"I could use some vacation days, but I won't be able to go anywhere because I have no money."
"I could work and save up money, but then I won't use up these vacation days."
--Patrick
Shush, @stienman. I was ranting, not begging.
doomdragon6
Staff member
I live not too far from Mobile. Just give me a mask of your face and I'll go in your stead.
Dave
Staff member
As much as you've given to the community? We could certainly do something to help.
doomdragon6
Staff member
I knew I forgot something important. Dangit. >>
I'm revoking your minion license.
Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I haven't had the chance to do this in awhile, but it's PERFECT timing. Are you ready? Really really ready?
*cracks his knuckles*
*calmly, quietly sits down behind his big, intimidating office desk*
*straightens out some papers*
*clears his throat*
You're fired.
Had an interview for a job today where the the interviewer didn't show up. He calls me back 20 minutes after I am suppose to have met him, once I reached out to him and the hr lady, and she had to call him. He tells me he is super busy and he just wont be in the office today. Maybe we can do it later today? I opened up with both barrels on him! (I took time off from my work to meet with him about this job, and I am swamped, not to mention to match his availability) The hr lady calls me back to apologize and I told her I don't want to work for a company that treats their people like this!
doomdragon6
Staff member
Man. Tables turned.
I don't know why I try anymore.
A lady friend of mine texted me that she would be out later (going to a bar that we both frequent,) I told her I was leaving a football game at that time. The game is like 2 hours away.
Two hours later I was driving through town with my dog. At a stop light I ask her were she is. 5 minutes no reply. I get to the bar and see her car. I illegally park and I text to her to "come outside." I get out of the car and get Ralph on a leash.
Then she texts back that she's at the bar. I reply "come outside."
What do you mean outside. "The place where there is no walls."
After 5 minutes of her not understanding what the fuck outside means, I texted her back saying that I was leaving. Because I was illegally parked.
Then I drove the 20 minutes home and then spent another 10 minutes trying to explain what it means to "go outside."
A lady friend of mine texted me that she would be out later (going to a bar that we both frequent,) I told her I was leaving a football game at that time. The game is like 2 hours away.
Two hours later I was driving through town with my dog. At a stop light I ask her were she is. 5 minutes no reply. I get to the bar and see her car. I illegally park and I text to her to "come outside." I get out of the car and get Ralph on a leash.
Then she texts back that she's at the bar. I reply "come outside."
What do you mean outside. "The place where there is no walls."
After 5 minutes of her not understanding what the fuck outside means, I texted her back saying that I was leaving. Because I was illegally parked.
Then I drove the 20 minutes home and then spent another 10 minutes trying to explain what it means to "go outside."
doomdragon6
Staff member
Maybe she was insanely drunk?
I dunno man.
I dunno man.
People in those situations are such shmucks. It's not even an abject use of power; they're just too dumb to keep their shit straight.
I had an interview years ago. Made the trip over, got into the office, filled out their forms, waited a while. They come out. Tell me they filled that position yesterday.
Manager's mother died yesterday. Heart attack. There's really nothing I can do except my job, and do my best to make that shift one less thing he needs to worry about right now.
At least he knows I'm not the type to blow up his phone overnight unless the hotel is literally (and I do mean literally) blowing up.
At least he knows I'm not the type to blow up his phone overnight unless the hotel is literally (and I do mean literally) blowing up.
Dear Mr. Frog. I was FINALLY able to offload three dozen of your offspring you produced in the space of a month. There's four new tadpoles living in the vivarium. One of your girlfriends laid another clutch of eggs yesterday. So do me a favor: QUIT CALLING TO THE LADIES, you horny little bastard. Don't make me dust your food with contraceptives.
I'm removing "reproduced like bunnies" from my lexicon and replacing it with "reproduced like dart frogs."
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm removing "reproduced like bunnies" from my lexicon and replacing it with "reproduced like dart frogs."
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Ah, horny animals. Nothing quite as inconvenient.
On a side note, I once saw my pet chinchilla masturbating.
Half of that iced tea spit-take went on my phone and the other half up my nose. Totally worth it.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Jesus fuck, please don't tell me this is the way you save on chinchilla food.
The amount of pink eye crud I woke up to made it near impossible to open my eyes this morning.
I called in sick to work.
On the bright side, it sounds like the girlfriend is coming over on her day off and we're gonna have a movie day.
I called in sick to work.
On the bright side, it sounds like the girlfriend is coming over on her day off and we're gonna have a movie day.
Pink eye is the sexiest STD evur!The amount of pink eye crud I woke up to made it near impossible to open my eyes this morning.
I called in sick to work.
On the bright side, it sounds like the girlfriend is coming over on her day off and we're gonna have a movie day.
Nick has been hanging out with Scott Baio.The amount of pink eye crud I woke up to made it near impossible to open my eyes this morning.
I called in sick to work.
On the bright side, it sounds like the girlfriend is coming over on her day off and we're gonna have a movie day.
Well obviously not, there'd be a diminishing return of metabolic energy. Geez.
Spoiler for people who don't need a description of a chinchilla masturbating.
It was a very weird morning. He lived in my bedroom, and I'd often wake up to him chewing on the bars of his cage -chinchilla incisors grow continuously, like beavers, so must be worn down, and my chinchilla preferred his cage to the various chewing toys and sticks I'd give him- so being woken up to weird noises from that corner of the room seldom surprised me.
What did surprise me was that his penis appeared to be in his little paws and he was, well, I mean, I was a teenager. I knew what was up. But then he put his mouth on the end of it and... I assume the rest needs not repeating.
I sort-of felt bad for watching, as I've generally appreciated my privacy while masturbating, but, at the same time, it was just fascinating. Couldn't look away.
What did surprise me was that his penis appeared to be in his little paws and he was, well, I mean, I was a teenager. I knew what was up. But then he put his mouth on the end of it and... I assume the rest needs not repeating.
I sort-of felt bad for watching, as I've generally appreciated my privacy while masturbating, but, at the same time, it was just fascinating. Couldn't look away.
Don't need or don't want?
Some people have needs, Emrys, and I'm not going to judge.
And we thank you for providing the sexy, no matter what form it takes.
Necronic
Staff member
So I just had an offer accepted on a house, which I am so happy about. And I'm getting married in October, which I'm also really happy about. But it makes finances tight, obviously. Today, casually, my wife to be tells me that she forgot to sign up for financial aid for her PhD program. I can't begin to express how phenomenally angry I am with her right now.
GasBandit
Staff member
Did you say "Welp, I guess you didn't want a doctorate after all, huh?"
Has the deadline passed for state funds? It hasn't everywhere, I think. https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=https://fafsa.ed.gov/fotw1415/pdf/Deadlines.pdf Federal deadline still looms.